DM-Brianna+E

Alien Attack One morning I was trying to listen to the school announcements when suddenly a blinding pink light flashes through the window. Naturally everybody rushes to the window saying "Wow, what was that!" or "Oh my Gosh!". Even the teacher was at the window. After getting board of watching people fighting to get to the window I went to the window everyone forgot and what I saw I will never for get. There was a hot pink U.F.O and it was blaring music I didn't understand, the U.F.O landed and the music stoped and a part of the U.F.O opened and showed a flight of stairs then a girl with pink skin walked out the way a movie star would get off a plane.Then the principal came back on the intercom and said "Would all students and staff please exit the school in a orderly fashion." The teacher then came out of her daze and told the class to line up. Once we were out side the girl with the pink skin started talking and this is what she said" Hello young people of Earth. I have been watching this school as you call it and I find it very amusing how so much drama can happen in one place. Anyway I just wanted to let you know you will now do what ever I say when I say it any questions?" A girl in my class named Cameren asked "Why do we have to listen to you?" The girl gave a big sigh and said "Because if you don't I'll destroy your planet duh" A boy in another class asked " Well if we have to listen to you can we at least know your name?" The girl thought about for a second then said "Fine, its Magenta" More and more kids raised their hands, when suddenly I noticed someone looking through the window of the U.F.O. I shot up my hand so quickly that Magenta noticed me right away. I asked "Who is that in the window?" The person in the window must of saw me pointing at him because he hid his face very fast. Magenta looked behind he to the window and said "Oh that is my little brother Sky, no one cares about him." "Oh." I said After all the Questions Magenta started handing out what looked like watches then she said " These communicators will be what I'll be using to tell you what to do." All of the students and the teachers lined up to get their watches or communicators or whatever their called I went to the back of the now very long line. As I was in line I noticed that Nobody seemed to worried about the fact if we say no to her she will destroy our planet! I tried to tell them that but of course no one listened to little old me. After giving up on them I remembered the kid in the window, and I remembered how Magenta didn't care all that much about him maybe I could him on my side but before I could think anymore on the subject the bell rang

Hi my name is Jenna. I think your story was good but you didn't have a big conflict. You could make the story longer and add more conflicts. The alien could be taking over the world and not just your school. You could add more details. The story is good though.