CI-Clayton

My Name: Clayton Denney My Age: 13 My Hometown: Pueblo, Colorado My Hobbies: swimming My Favorites: swimming Other things you should know about me: I run track Favorite Food: Pizza i eat it all the time Month of birth: October  Night in the Rockies

In the midnight sun you could see little figures playing in the woods. They were running and hiding. They were running so they wouldn’t get tagged by the evil player who was it. They were in the high altitude running back and forth. They were our own Rocky Mountains. The mountains was the best place for those kids to hide. They hid behind enormous trees and behind cabins.

The parents of those parents were also in their own game in the mountains. The elderly were playing chess and risk and many old games they play. That was a common game for elderly when they visit the mountains. The teens in our Rocky Mountains usually play spin the bottle and tell very scary stories, but that night one person played that joke and scared everyone.

The adults play cook. They are the ones that cook all the meals. The cabin was the scariest place in the mountains because the windows and the door did not shut.

That night though the teens were telling scary stories. A guy came behind and scared all the girls and then went into the cabin and made all the women and men scream. A man came out of the cabin scaring the creep with his own knife.

The kids were all playing hide and seek from the crazy goon. The man was looking for them but didn’t see them. The kids were finally going to make a run through to their parents until they were spotted. They ran and screamed and the mothers of the kids screamed also. All of the men went up to get the man.

It was all a game for all the people. Until the kid finally got his mask off and the parents saw it was their son. So everyone in the room wanted to play a good game of hide-and-seek. Even the elderly people. The man in the mask was counting first, and found his grandmother trying to hide in the wood that was near the fireplace.

The grandma then found her husband who was hiding in the other log that was near the fire. He then found his daughter who found her husband who found his little kid who found her cousin who found her friend who found her dad. The dad was next and saw another person in a mask and thought it was the same kid who was trying to trick them all. It wasn’t. The man was a man who really wanted to hurt other people who didn’t do anything wrong, except for one person. The younger kid had a friend who was not invited so the older brother was going to haunt them.

The kid chased everyone and was especially yelling at the little kid. Then he saw his little brother their playing and screaming with all of the other little kids. He then thought that they were letting his little brother play. He was so happy that he left and went home. The rest of the night everyone that was there behaved and went to bed right away.

They were still scared that another man would appear and do the same exact thing, but they didn’t until the next year.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
 * Starting - March 29 (2009): **

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

 Technical Details
1. Punctuation, grammar, word choice.
 * Starting - April 19 (2009): **

 The Alien King's Decision
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?
 * Starting May 3 (2009): **

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. 