DM-Ben+S

__Welcome, To 1001 Tales!!!__ Hey im in your groupe!

Hello my name is Ben and im a 13 year old boy and im in grade 7, from Canada! Im very short with pich black hair. Im in Karate, volleyball, basket ball, and basball but out of all those sports it would have to be basball. I also play instruments such as the drums, and the guitar. I have no brothers or sisters I am an only child, but I have an awsome cousin named Jesse, shes really cool! My favorite subject in school would have to be Phy.Ed. I used to have a cat named Bud, but he past away one year ago, it was pretty sad.    Calvin and Hobbes, The Two Aliens of Town Land. It was a cold breezy afternoon, my friends and I were walking beside our favorite place ever in Stropalopalis. It was an old river that many different animals would drink the clean water. It was a beautiful place, there was a mini waterfall right beside the river. Only my friends and I knew about it, we swore to never tell any one else about this amazing place.

One day when we were walking back from the river we saw a very nice sports car landed right in front of us. We were so scared, we didn't know what to think, just when it hit us, we knew that aliens from outer space have landed right here in our little town of Stropalopalis. Then suddenly two strange creatures came out of the sports car. The strange creatures were pear shaped and had blue skin with platypus beaks, and fancy clothes. They also had big money necklaces, and on there heads they had hats with big feathers. The aliens did not speak english, they meowed like cats, the only thing that the aliens could say was there names, So the aliens told us there names, there names were Calvin and Hobbes.  1 . Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I don’t think that the plot is original, it reminds me of the Calvin and Hobbes comic books. T would suggest changing the aliens names because a person could think that you just copied it out of a book.
 * Ben s- edit by Kirklan**
 * Starting - March 29 (2009):**

I think dat the plot was ok but the endinq sounds familiar...- ashley 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? I think that isn’t a real problem. A problem would be that girls found their spot and told the entire school about it.

Tha problem dat thy face is there a aliens and it is a big problem bcuz thy might kill thm. -ashley*

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I can’t really tell what the two friends look like, but I can tell what the aliens look like.

The characters are like life-able. Tha story wasnt that long though so im not sure.-ashley*

 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I would like to see some name changes in the story and some grammar corrections.

No i cnt really visualise the characters, there not enouqh detail bout thm.-Ashley*

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The areas that need the most improvement are the grammar issues. Other than that, the story is okay.

I think tha lenqth needs help and a conclusion needs to be put in.?-ashleyy*