TM-Janelle

**Hey my name is Janelle, I’m 12 years old.**
**Some of my favorite things to do over anything are playing basketball, going swimming in the summer, and I love hanging with my friends and being outside playing sports. Some of my best friends are MelissaWilson,AmandaKnerrson,KarissaBraga,Holly DeRusha and AnnieStennson,They are like the best they all go to Timberlane also.**

This is the kinda dog i want.They are soooo cute!!!!

This is another kind of dog i love and think is so cute!!

It was dark when Bella woke up she thought she was lost,were am I, Bella thought for a minute then she heard talking. She still had no idea were she was,Bella was trying so hard to remember.her eyes were still shut maybe that was probably the reason she had no idea were shewas.She opened her eyes it was just like a white screen she had no idea then she could see she didn’t know were she was.She saw her mom just barley though. (I screamed) All Bella could remember is that she thought she was dead.Were am I, Bella asked. There was no answer.She said again were am I, still no answer.When she sat up she no longer saw her room she thought all of this was just a dream and a little weird but then it hit her,she remembered what happened.But the only thing about it, was that she could only remember a few of the things,like she doesn’t know were she is,no one is here and nothing was around her were could she be but then bella saw her.Her mom was back again she screamed because she remember before that her mom was trying to kill her.She said it was something about when I turned 18 my soul would belong to the devil.Bella told her off and said she was nuts then at that very moment thats when she try to kill me.After that she couldn’t remember anything.Now that she remembered how she ended up were she was she thought about what her mom told her and she thought hard.
 * // Were Am I //**

Not a finished story

** Questions for Peer Reviewers **
Edited by Nacho BFIS

(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)
 * __Edited by Alvaro BFIS__**

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? **I think that you could add some diologue in it to make it interesting and maybe you could do it even more longer to make it more interesting... There is not enough suspense to make the author want to read it**.
 * The plot is original but wacth out for grammer and spelling mistakes**


 * __Your story is not original at all, unless an adaptation. Not even the names are original. Please, try doing something with your own touch, because the soul selling theme has been repeated over and over.__**

Your story is not original, nothing is original, but to do an effort that will help.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? It has no problems, because it is too short, and it doesn't tell anythig.


 * __The story is just too short. It has no suspense, as things just go too fast. I, though, have to admit that it does generate interest, because, even if not original, the theme is quite neatly done. I don't think this even has a resolution, unless not finished.__**

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The charectors don't have anything special to tell me and neighther the story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you // see // and // hear // and // experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

I don't think you used a lot of imaginaton, so it will be better if you add a lot of details. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? You use really bad the persons, sometimes it is you and someothers it is in 3rd person.