VV+Michael+T

**Introduction:**
Hi! I'm Michael. I have lots of intrests in computers and of corse, Video games. My favourite tipe of food is probably Ribs. Like meat ribs. My Main hobbies are: Skateboarding, biking, Video games, Fixing computers, even know if I don't have T.V. My favourite show is Family guy. My favourite VIdeo game is probably Halo 3 or COD 5. My favourite sports are Basket ball and running. So that is some stuff about me. THanks for reading and I hope you like my story.

**Paste your story here:**
__ Mud And Fire __ Have you ever been in a forest, and walked around it for a while… and maybe you leave and come back 3 years later, and it’s all gone. I have. I used to live in a rainforest in Brazil. It was the most amazing place on earth, well to me I guess. Or at least it used to be. I am Kahim and I live in Peru, Brazil. I am only 13 years old. One day I was walking through my rainforest and I heard a weird buzzing noise… So I listened. “Buzzzz!” What could it be? Then all the sudden a big Rumble and Snap! I was so curious and yet scared right out of my head. I listened some more. No sound. Not even from the animals. I was ready to sprint as fast as I could. “Hey! You”! A man said. I ran as fast as I could, and the man ran after me. He finally gave up and went home after 10 minutes. I ran home crying because I was scared to death. But the next day… I was still ever so curious. So I went back. When I got there… When I got there all of the forest I saw yesterday… was gone. But there was something moving in the middle of the field. Not an animal. Not a tree. What could it be? I slowly walked a bit closer then I stopped. ‘//Not an animal… Not a tree.’// It ran over and over again in my head. But a… a human! A little boy was sitting in the middle of all the rubble! I ran towards him and asked if he was ok. But when he got to him I thought if it was a human or not. He was oddly colored. Then he turned around and he was as pale as a ghost. “Hello” He said “H… Hello” I stammered. It was strange. He looked like a human, he talked like a human. “W… who are you?” I asked nervously. “Jake and I come from the towns around here. Are you from around here?” “ Yes. But what is happening? This used to be all forest. Living, Beautiful, amazing full of life, forest!” I said sadly “Oh all this? Oh my! I didn’t know that my Dad did this! I thought he was doing it because… I-I… He never… He told me he made sure that there was nothing living in this forest!” He said confused

“Even if there wasn’t! Your Dad did this? I-I’m not angry at you I’m just… Sad.” I said as if I just had an epiphany. “Well I’m going to give him heck tonight!” He said angrily. “No please don’t. Just… Just try to change it. Just please, // please ////, //// please //// , //// please //// … // He never really came back. The wood cutters, chopped down the whole forest and my family was taken away. Now I’m in a completely different world and I can’t find my way home. I just hope one day this madness will stop and I will be free… Kahim Latica was one day freed after the Civil War. His story goes on in history until now, and people still are cutting down rainforests and it needs to stop. The End.


 * Questions for Peer Reviewers

(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

It’s quite original, and teaches a good lesson to the reader. I didn’t really understand the ending, and you could have made it longer, taking the time and space to provide more information. I really enjoyed your story, and it taught me a good lesson. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

You had a great plot, and a good plan for what should happen in the story. However, you rushed the story, forcing action to take much shorter time, and gave little information. Then you could have added more suspense when the main character sees the inhuman-like child. But besides that, I truly enjoyed your story because of the way you described some of the things, I felt like I was really there. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, and discussion from other characters, the characters own actions?

Your characters are realistic, and are helping in realistic ways, which makes the story more believable. Unfortunately, you first of all provided little information on them, and what little you did give, you just handed it to the reader, not weaving it in, and making the reader search for hidden information. Secondly, you never truly gave us information on what the little boy was doing at that “dead” site, and never explained how the boy or even the main character had any importance to the story. Although this is true, your characters added “flavor” to the story, making it realistic and gave me more emotions and made me feel like I was really there. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

I enjoyed how creative and realistic you were about your story, never making anything unbelievable. However I’d like to see more information on the characters, and what is going on in the story, and why it is important to the reader. I truly enjoyed reading this however, and think it was worth your efforts the write it for others to read. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

I really like the story, and the plot was creative and realistic. I’d like to see more information on everything, especially the importance of the characters, and why you introduced them to our knowledge. I think this was a good first draft, but I’d like to see another one, which is improved. I know that you can do better, and I can’t wait to see what you come up with. You Can Do It! Great Job! Kate, ISKL **