VV+Austin

media type="custom" key="3654075"Hello my name is Austin and this is my video from xtranormal. And I also own a [|blog] so feel free to look!

Euwert and the Bullies One day, a kid named Euwert was bird watching for the first time by his self, he was excited when 3 kids came along and ask if he wants to play, and Euwert said yes. He didn’t know that he will get beaten up by bullies until they approached a cold rusty fence.

“Hey”, said Jack, One of the 3 bullies. “Have you ever notice your name sounds like EW Wart”? Then every one called him EW WART, EW WART! He tried to ignore them until he got thrown to the ground and spat on, Euwert was crying, but then a passing adult came and told the bullies to run off, he came and helped the crying and scratched kid up to his feet and brought him over. I’ll call your parents, number? Euwert told him and a few minutes later his parents came and picked him up and told his parents how 3 kids from his school beat him up at the park.

The next day he and his parents came to school and the 3 bullies were sitting and talking about stuff and his parents started asking if he can call his parents he said “no, go away from me “Euwert’s parents told the teacher about Jack and he did get in trouble but later after school he called Euwert ‘The Living Turd’ and left without another word.

The next day the bully and his friends told him that they were sorry and they chose to be a better person after what there teacher and parents talked about and the there problems were solved and they became friends afterwards nothing bad ever happened.

If you have some feed back or editing suggestions, for example more character explanations let me know and thank you !

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Questions for Peer Reviewers (Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Your story is very organized in paragraphs and I like your topic, which is about bullies. You had some grammar and spelling mistakes though, but you can always fix that. You had good descriptions, but maybe you could have added a little more detail. Overall, it was a very interesting story! Good Job! 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The resolution was thought well, how an adult who was passing by saw the bullies. But it was kind of confusing at the third paragraph where there were so many ‘he’s’ and I didn’t know which character you were talking about. I also thought that you should have expended more when the bullies started to bully. But as I said before, your resolution was thought out well. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? By your descriptions on the first paragraph, I had an interpretation that Euwert is someone who is always by himself and probably that’s why he was excited when the 3 other guys came and asked him to play with them. I think that you could have introduced Euwert a little better though, like you could have talked about his personalities, his age, his characteristics and so on. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? As I wrote before, I think you could have added a little more detail of the character, Euwert, and also more details for the 3 bullies (ex: maybe you could have added the 3 bullies’ names and if they were the same age as Euwert). I also suggest that you add more details in the climax of the story, where the bullies beat up Euwert. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I think you could improve on the last two paragraphs of your story because since there are too many ‘he’s’ it can be confusing which person you are talking about. It is also confusing how the bullies suddenly comes up to Euwert the next day and apologizes (you can also explain what happened to the bullies when they were in trouble and what made them to apologize). Overall, your story was interesting to read and very organized! School, ISKL SunHae

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1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? The plot is original but you didn't explain in enough detail. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The climax isn't explained enough so there isn't much suspense. The resolution was good but it went bye very quick. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The characters are explained ok. You could've explained Euwert and the bullies with more description. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? You didn't explain the scenery except for the park. You could've shown more emotion from Euwert when he was being beat-up. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? Your story had a good plot but you could've explained in detail, the characters, their emotions and the resolution.

VMS Kristi