SO-Malon+J.

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 * Introduction: Yo whats up! My name is Mahlon Jones and I love to write and listen to rap music! So I hope you like my story becuase it is sizziling! Yo don't forget to add coments for me so I can make it more hoppen!**=====

** The Feeling of Being Watched ** By: Mahon Jones It all started a stormy night a misty cold night. I lay in a rocking chair asleep to the lullaby of the pitter and the patter of the rain splashing on the window. A cold chill runs down my spine as if there was a spirit standing by me, watching me as if it wanted to tell me something about its life before. I wake up sweating like a pig. I go the cupboard to get a glass. When I opened the cupboard the chill came back! I turned around and CRASH! I wake up again this time for real! “Dude, get up it is time to play some wicked baseball,” said my older brother. “//uuuhhgg!//” I said. “COME ON, MAN. LET’S GOOOO!” As I look at my alarm clock, I see some thing in the corner of my eye. I’m so sleepy that I don’t care. My alarm clock said 11:00am in red glowing lights. “Come on!” he said in a mad voice. I knew that I should get up before he got fiscal with me! So I got up and got dressed in my Ohio State jersey and in my Ohio State sweatshirt. I went down stares to get some breakfast. My eyes still blurry from sleepiness. All of a sudden I trip over some thing I look down to my surprise, and nothing was there! What was it? Was I clumsy and tripped over my feet? No matter I am hungry. “Hurry up you baby!” My brother said. “Shut up you pea brain” I said with a groan. “Stop fighting you two, and eat your breakfast” said my mom. My mom is one of those people that love to dress up in weird cloths! Today she was wareing a bright red sweatshirt with yellow pkodots. She also had purple tight pants with yellow shoes! I know, don’t ask me where she gets this stuff because I don’t know! When I was eating I thought of my dream I had last night. I wondered what crashed. Where did that felling come form? So may questions! “You done eating your baby food you baby,” said my brother. “Just leave me alone! Let’s just play baseball!” “O.K! Finely you get your butt out side!” So I got my Ohio State shoes on and ran out side. At the time my mom was working on the guestroom upstairs and the window could be seen from the back yard! “Come on you dimwit, get over here” man was my brother mean! “I’m first picker,” said my friend named Jarred. “I’m second picker!” said my brother. As always I was picked by my friend. So we lined our bases using sticks. “PLAY BALL!!!” My brother shouted. I was up to bat first. So I pated my bat on home plate and got ready for the pitch. “Here comes a real fast one,” My brother said. “Bring it on snack shack!” I yelled. All of a sudden I felt as if some thing or some one was standing by me. I turned to look behind me so I did not hit any one. **SMACK!!!!!!** The last thing I herd was foot steps running away from me! “ooowwwwyyy!” “Shut up you baby, I pretty much saved your life!” said my brother. “He’s coming around!” said my mom in a relieving voice. “Oh how’s my baby!” said my mom again. “I’m not a baby you guys! I’m fine!” “Don’t yell at me young man!” “Why did you even turn around wimp where you to scared of my fast ball!” said my brother “No! I saw some thing, or…. I felt some thing.” “Well I didn’t see any thing,” Said my brother “He needs to rest leave him alone.” Why did they not believe me? Could they not see what I can see? As I thought I fell in to a restless slumber. When I was asleep I had weird dream that I was being chased by a black figure. I waked up with a chill running down my spine. I yelled for mom. No answer! I yelled again. No answer! What was going on? Was it a trick? I got out of my bed and opened the door. I walked down the hallway and went in to the kitchen I looked on the refrigerator door. There was a note that read, “ //Me and your brother are going to the store to get some medison for you head. So just watch T.V or go back to sleep. Me xoxoxox!// **To Be Continued….**

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?