SO-Emma+C.

**Introduction:**
Hello, My name is Emma C. Some of my favorite things to do in my free time is to sing, act, dance, play the cello, piano, play volleyball and many more things. I am in sixth grade at South Middle School. My favorite food is mashed potatoes. Some of the places I have visited are Illinois, Minniesota, Floida, New York, New Jersey, and Virginia. My future goal is to become an actress or singer, or a kindergarten teacher. My favorite book is __Elsewhere__ and my favorite movie is __Twilight__. I have 2 sisters that are the ages of 15 and 7. My favorite subjects in school are Math and Social Studies.

**Paste your story here:**
** Jenny and the Emerald Diamond ** By: Emma Cruciani October 26th started out as any other day. Jenny got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed her teeth, and went to school. But the thing about Jenny, is that she, is a superhero. She’s not like those superheros in stories. You know the kind that says “I’m mulitman! (That’s what we are going to call him)” and you know how these stories go. The villain comes and does something //horrible// and the person being held captive yells “oh, save me! Where is Multiman when I need him!” and out of nowhere, jumps Multiman. And of course he saves the day and everyone is happy. Not in this story. When Jenny and Alvis (her annoying little twit of a brother) got to school that day, it was not like //any// other day. There was police tape that said do not cross. And there were firefighters and more police men than Jenny could count! There was smoke everywhere, and someone was yelling “they’ve stole it, they’ve got it!” Jenny went over to see who it was and it was Mrs. Crocker. Mrs. Croker (as they called her, because she never talked, only croaked,) was the meanest secretary a school can ever have. But this was unusual. Because Mrs. Croker NEVER cried much less showed any emotion besides the scowl on her face every day as you walk by the office in to Rodgers Junior High. Well, this was too much for little Alvis to handle so Jenny walked him over to his school, Ridgeway Elementary School. Once Alvis was safe, Jenny could investigate. You see the thing is Jenny and her parents were superheroes and Alvis wasn’t. Not because Jenny’s parents didn’t want him to be one, its just that when Jenny was a little girl superheroes were banned from saving lives because well, the mortals didn’t think they needed them. Once all the parents of the mortal kids told them not to talk to the superhero kids. So of course, Jenny got made fun of and didn’t like it. And Ryan and Ava Morgan (Jenny’s parents) didn’t want Alvis to go through the same thing. So they just didn’t tell him. But, he could never know, he would be annoying all the time wonder what powers they had and which one they didn’t. //I have gotta get in that school and find out what is going on!// Thought Jenny. // Oh I know what I can do! I can use my superinvisi. To get in!// Now Superinvisi. Is Jenny’s name for the super power of invisibility. You see __invisi__bility. Or just plain old: being invisible. So anyway Jenny went behind a bush and said the words: Superinvisi, come alive! And she turned invisible. Quiet as a mouse, Jenny walked toward the school if she ever so slightly made a sound and some one looked in her direction, she would turn visible again. Sounds hard? Does it? Jenny’s had lots of practice. Any way, Jenny made it to the school and lifted up the do not cross tape and went inside. Inside the building was very dark, misty, and mucky. She couldn’t see a thing. “What am I going to do? I can not see at all,” Jenny said in a whisper tone. Then she remembered the flash light on her Superhero Belt. She grabbed the flashlight and started down the halls of Rodgers Junior High. There were doors of rooms open with signs that were written in that weird kind of font: I’m not done here, I am coming back. //Coming back, what does that mean? //Thought Jenny. //I’d better keep going and find out who this person is that can get away with something when Jenny’s on the case.// So Jenny kept going through the halls of Rodgers Junior High only to find more of those signs //all// over the place. But Jenny kept going. She was determined to find at least some piece of evidence that wasn’t I’m not done here, I am coming back. Then she discovered it. In the east wing of the school, there was a tiny janitor’s closet. That door was open. And in that tiny janitor’s closet was a red mahogany box that was opened, and in it was a violet silk cushion. That was empty. Jenny knew something had to go there because there was a hole in the cushion and it looked like something had been sitting there for along time. //That must have been what Mrs. Croker was crying about. Someone stole something that belonged in this closet. But// what //was it and// who //did it? //Jenny wondered in her mind. Just then she heard a slam and a laugh that was so awful that she had to cover her ears. She turned around to see her self locked in, with James McCarron…. James McCarron was the evilest person you could ever meet. He was a villain. He had made New York City almost fall apart if it wasn’t for Jenny’s dad: Stretch Man. (He could stretch for miles and miles.) the whole city would be destroyed by now. He also had made the NY police men almost cut down the whole Brazilian Rain Forest. Of course if it wasn’t for Jenny’s mom: Cape Gal it would be cut down, and everybody would go nuts. “Well, well, well, look what the evil brought in.” James said “What do you want James. If that is your real name.” Jenny said with a scowl. “I’ve come to get revenge. Revenge on you and your parents for destroying my evil plans!” When James said that he got louder and louder as he said every word. “Then what are you doing at my school? Come to destroy the gross lunches we have? ‘Cause I let you do that.” Jenny said with a smile “I have come here because someone I over heard said your father was going to remodel the whole entire school district.” James said. “Yah the entire school district. Of Seattle! Not here in New York. And what were you going to do anyway.” Jenny said “Well, I was going to pretend I was a student here, named Alfred Smith, and say that last night I saw //your// mother as a janitor here, be the last person to leave. Here’s what I’ll say if anyone asks who I am: Well, my name is Alfred Smith, I live in New York. And last night while I was waiting for my mother, I saw Mrs. Morgan, nice lady, look...” “That is so not true! You hate my mother!” Jenny said interrupting. “Let me finish! Gosh! Remember, I am pretending?” James said “Oh. Right. Fine. Go ahead.” Jenny said with her head down. “Alright, so where was I, oh, yes… I saw Mrs. Morgan, nice lady look around a couple of times before leaving. I thought to myself, how strange I know you’re supposed to look both ways before you cross the street, but not 10 times. Then I saw here go to her car and put something in it with a coat around it and say in a whisper into a cell phone: I’ve got it Ry, I got it.” “That’s ridiculous, James. My father’s name is Ryan not Ry, and mum //never, never// calls him Ry. She absolutely //hates// nick names.” Jenny concluded. “Well let’s see what the people out side say.” James said. And with that the light went out and all that could be heard was a scream coming from Jenny as she fell though the trap door… Jenny woke up in a strange room she had never seen before. It had dark violate walls, and a desk right in the middle of the room. On the desk was a small box. On the box was the word PRIVATE. Jenny couldn’t resist. She opened the box and in it, was the emerald diamond. The emerald diamond was a mixture of an emerald and a diamond it was probably worth 1 million dollars! “James.” Is all Jenny said. //I have gotta tell everyone out side that Alfred (James) stole Mrs. Croakers emerald diamond!// Thought Jenny. At the end of the hall there was a small opening in the wall. //There!// Thought Jenny. So she grabbed the box and ran into the small opening. Once she went down this dark hallway, it opened to a place that looked like Willy Wonka’s wonderland. “Where am I?” said Jenny. Just then she noticed an opening by the chocolate waterfall. She ran though it and it opened behind the bush outside that she turned invisible behind. She heard James talking to the whole crowd. He was telling that foolish story she had heard earlier. “ … Then I saw Mrs. Morgan nice lady look about…” Jenny jumped out of the bush and said, “YOU LIAR!” “Jenny what are you doing here?” James said. Jenny replied, “Here to bust you out.” “What are you talking about I, Alfred was telling them about what I saw with Mrs. Morgan.” James said looking very surprised at Jenny for escaping. She walked over to him and said in a whisper, “you left the door open.” She said that with a smile. “Let me tell you the real story.” And with that, Jenny told everyone about Alfred’s REAL name and all about her adventures. “Give that box Ms. Morgan.” Mrs. Croaker said. And Jenny gave her that box with a relief. And James went to jail. For eternity.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?