BF-Chloe

Hello my name is Chloé Cheynet, I am half french half american. My birthday is June 24 and i am 11 and a half years old. I live in Sant Cugat it is next to Barcelona, whell it is out side barcelona. I love rock and pop, What kind of music do you like? I wen to france(i have never lived there) i have also went on a cruse this summer in the greck islands. i have lived in America intill i was 5 years old. I moved here when I was 5 and a half years old. Where have you lived in the worl? I also have been in hawaii when i was young. I have two animals one cat and one rabbit. There names are:

The cat: bagheera The rabbit: plum


 * //__The Weirdest Day __//**

"Aghhhhhh! my head" screamed lila. Jacob looked up suddenly with a scared face. The two where just coming back from a haloween party and Jacob was a bit drunk and acsedently stumbled into Lila and pushed her into a glass window the glass shatered all over her and there was bloood everywhere from the cuts. Jacob ran out of the car anxiously and went runing to Lila. Jacob opened the door and Lila woke up sundenly. Lila was still loosing alot of blood. Jacob tride to help her but he did not know whant to do so he made it even bleed more. Jacob stated to get really nervous and Lila was scared she was going to die. Lila started to yell at Jacob so loudly that Jacob had to step away for two seconds intill Lila started to settle down. Jacob did not understand why Lila was yelling so hard because she usually does not yell at Jacob at all. Jacob yelled write back at Lila that Lila said " Just go away if it is like that you really are when someone is harmed." Jacob walked away with out any words. Lila waited and waited for Jacob to come back but then she herd a boy start to yell. That second Lila stated to get really nerviouse that she stated swetting a lot. Lila wemember the " Privet Property, Do Not Tress Pass Or Els Something Bad Weill Happen..." sign. Lila was know very scared and neviouse, she also remembered that Jacob was drunk. She had a flash back of her and Jacob in the car fighting over her blode and her insolting him. Lila felt so bad she statted to start to cry it was like if in was a water fall. " Jacob please come back, I really miss you and love you. Come back." Lila said really sadly with all the water filling up her mouth. That is when Lila wanted to go get Jacob or just try to get Jacob back if he had not died or got turned into something creapy. Will Lila was opening the door she herd something move at the back her (at the other end of the car.) Lila turned so quiqly she thought she brock her neck so he went gently backwards. Thats is when she got another flash back and saw all the good times she had with Jacob. She re tried to open the door but this time the door was loked and she saw the famouse SOMETHING and 4 WEREFOLVES at the door.............................

To BE Continued Mhuhahahahahaha

Evil shal return

**Story and Content**
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I find this story random, but i think it's good to be random because of the tittle (the weirdest day) 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? THE PROBLEMS THAT THE CHARACTERS FACE ARE OK CAUSE THEY ARE WEIRD AND THAT'S WHAT YOU EXPECTED (NOOO?).
 * Starting - March 29 (2009):**

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD DESCRIBE BETTER YOUR CHARACTERS, BECAUSE THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING YOU SATY ABOUT THEM, IT'S THEIR NAME.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? YOU CAN IMAGINE THE CHARACTER, FOR EXAMPLE; LILA WAS YELLING. BUT YOU CAN'T DECRIBE REALLY WELL THE PLACE WHERE ALL THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I THINK YOU'LL HAVE TO IMPROVE THE DESCRIBING PLACES PART BECAUSE AS I TOLD YOU YOU DESCRIBED OK THE CHARACTERS ACTIONS BUT THE PLACE TAT YOU ARE DECRIBING SORRY BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO IMPROVE IT A LOT, ALSO, BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR SPELLING! BYE, SOFIA.C BFIS

hi this is maddy i have an idea for your story.......... i think your story would be better if you started it with a sizling start if you dont know what that is it is where you get straight into the action for example: "aghhhhhh! my head" screamed lila. jacob looked up suddenly with a scared face. the two where just coming back from a haloween party and jacob was a bit drunk and acsedently stumbled into lila and pushed her into a glass window the glass shatered all over her there was bloood everywhere from the cuts........ but i dont know that is just my opinion etheir way it will still be good ok got to go bye regards maddy