ISKL+Thomas





 I looked around the Camp; Conner was dropping wood and tripping over everything in sight. //He's such a little kid//, I thought to myself. I laughed slightly and picked up the rusted saw, cutting through the tough wood laying in front of me. //Oh great,// I sighed, //here he comes...//  ====//"//Hey Carson, should we operate a plan to get out of the labor camp before someone sees us and hope we don't get killed," He asked. He was trying not to jump up and down smiling. He's treating this whole thing like a joke; running away from a labor camp. It's not exactly that easy...====  ===="Shut up stupid!" I yelled back. "Are you an idiot? Stop yelling at me!" he said. I frowned and turned back to cutting the wood. "Don't yell stuff out like that. This aint  something we're telling everyone!" he yelled again. I turned back to him once again. "We're going to get out of here tonight, so go get ready. I'm getting wood ready, so you gotta  get food and clothes." He nodded with a slight frown.====  ====Later that night, I sat on the big gray rock. Watching the moon light bounce off the water of the deep blue sea, I sighed and closed my eyes. I was hoping we could make it out of here, and get to America. When our father died, all we wanted to do was get out of here. Our mom just wanted what was best for us. It has always been my dream to go to America, though. I longed to do simple things, like ride in a car on a busy street, and listen to the sounds while I watch the shimmering street lights fly by with great speed.====

====I was so absorbed in my thoughts, that I  didn't even notice Conner sitting next to me. "Sure is pretty out there," he said looking over the jungle,<span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);"> grinning<span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);"> his huge grin; he looks just like dad does. His blue eyes looked so bright against his dirty blond hair that fell over his eyes. It's kind of funny, since he looked so much like dad, but acted just like mom did. Conner wanted nothing more then to please mom. I felt my eyes getting hot and started fighting back tears. I always did when I thought of mom<span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);"> and dad.==== <span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);">

====I stood up, ignoring his comment, and started walking. "Wait up Carson!" Conner yelled, chasing after me. I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked over to where we kept the huge wooden boat that we made. Conner had already piled up lots clothes to take, but I looked over at him in slight shock.==== <span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);">

"I know, I couldn't get any! They were watching me like hawks! I couldn't! I'm so sorry!" he said, a little surprised that I was yelling.
===="We don't have food..." I said, my hopes broken. "This is the only time we can go, so either we steal food from the soldiers right now, or we leave without it..." I said, half talking to myself, half asking him. "What do we do...?" I said so quietly I could barely hear myself...====

<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"> ====When I sat down to think again I strictly said to Conner that we had to get food to go into the sea; salt water makes you very hungry and thirsty. I stood up and grabbed some rope that was left over from making the raft. Then pulled Conner with me while half running in the direction of the soldiers. "Where are we going?" Conner asked.==== <span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">

"To get food since you were too scared!" Suddenly I heard some slight mumbling which shocked me quite a bit because it was all silent before that. "Stop mumbling!" I yelled to Conner.
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====We crawled through the grass to hide behind the building as the soldiers passed us.They were talking loudly, in Korean, and laughing; so they did not even notice us running by. We grabbed bread, fruit, and some canned food; enough to last us a week or so. We'd have to salvage our food if we wanted to make it to America alive.==== ====As we started to make our way to the boat, we realized that something was not right. As the boat came into view, we saw four others from the camp huddled around our boat! They were whispering about something, but we were not in hearing distance. As we got closer I screamed, "Get away from our boat!"====

===="Okay guys, we will give you half of the food we stole if you leave us alone and let us leave. Then when we get to America we will send someone to come get you." Oh that was a good one, I thought of that on the spot, and what could they do if we didn't send someone to come get them. They would be here and we would be free, so what do we have to loose.====

"I know right, lets go."
====As time went on and we were on our journey our boat started to sink. "Oh no help help," I screamed. "Our boat is sinking." Luckily a tug boat that was riding by saw and heard us. They stop along and offered us a ride.====

"Hey guys,where are you going?" asked a member of the crew on the tug boat.

"Umm uhh we are going to America," stuttered Conner. Wow, he is making us look weak. We needed to act older to make sure they would not hurt us.

"Oh well that is convenient because we are going there also," responded Joey, another man on the tug boat.

To our surprise they were a member of the U.S navy and were on a mission to help survivors! We managed to jump onto their boat and persuade them to take us all the way to America. It took a long time to get there but luckily they had enough food to feed us all.

We finally got to America and met up with some family that offered to take us in for care, we lived the rest of our life happily and no troubles we never thought about our troubles ever again.

PEER REVIEW (Saint Michael)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I think that the plot is good it is pretty original. You could have made the ending a little better though. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The story had a good amount of suspense. The climax is formed well. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The characters are very life-like. The dialog sounds real. Just like two boys would say. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I would like to see more details in the next story. The story just has the plot you should build more on the story. It is a good story though! 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The ending needs the most improvement. You can maybe tell more about when they get to America.

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