HA-Kiri

Grade:6 Best holiday: Queensland, 2007 Birth month: April Career goals: Vet Favourite singer: Kelly Clarkson Favourite lolly: fizzers Favourite food: Roast Favourite munchie: chocolate Favourite soft drink: coke Favourite subject: Art and science Favourite colour: green and purple Hobbies: karate, drawing and reading Pet peeve: flys Pets: Ned (puppy) and Bobby (cow)

Plan for my story

Orientation- Den the bully, Mrs Crabople(teacher), Daisy and the students. where-at school

Problem- No teachers

Complication- The kids go crazy

Resulution- Daisy calls a teacher

Conclusion- A teacher comes and makes them clean up the school

My story: school gone wild

"Watch out bellow" yelled Den. Den is the biggest bully in primary school.

"Hey get down from there". Shouted Daisy.

"Your not the boss". Yelled Den. " And there hasnt been one teacher seen so dont try telling on me".

A few hours later. Cool kids climbing on the roof. Nerds locked up in cubards. Books being used to break windows. Big kids eating all of the canteen food. Kids grffitieing the school. Chairs glued to the roof. Kids using nails from the wood work room as darts. Sterios been turned up to full volume these were your mistakes Watch out bellow" yelled Den. Den is the biggest bully in primary school.

"Hey get down from there". Shouted Diasy.

" your not the boss". Yelled Den. " And there hasnt been one teacher seen so dont try telling on me".

A few hours later. Cool kids climbing on the roof. Nerds locked up in cubards.Books being used to break windows. Big kids eating all the canteen food. Kids grifitieing the school. Chairs glued to the roof. Kids using nails from the wood work room as darts. Sterios been turned up to full volume and kids having water fights.

"Right ive had enough im calling a teacher". Daisy shouted agrily.

Daisy searched around the office for the book that has the teachers phone numbers in it.

"Aha i fount it". Shouted Daisy in excitment.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring.

"hello" Said mrs Crabobple.

" Hi mrs crabobple this is Daisy can you come to school immedietly". Said Daisy in a hurry.

"ok bye". Said mrs Crabobple.

Mrs Crabobple raced out the door and jumped in her car. 15 minutes later mrs Crabobple showed up.

"Hey did any 1 order a bright red car". Yelled one of the students.

" OH what a disgrace". Whispered mrs Crabobple disgustedly.

"Hide its Mrs Crabobple". Another student yelled.

Mrs Crabobple enters the school. CLICK CLACK CLICK CLACK. Mrs Crabobples high heels cliter clatering up the corridor. "They are all hiding". Daisy explained. "If you guys and girls dont come out you will all walk home". Yelled mrs Crabobple with her strongest voice. "we're sorry". Yelled the students. "sorry is not enough this school better be clean by the end of the day or you'll never hear the end of it". Yelled mrs Crabobple.

"Ok" yelled the students.

By the end of the day the school was clean. They all went home by bus. Mrs Cabobple went into all the class rooms. They were clean. After a few minutes there was one more place to check the canteen. Mrs Crabobple walked into the canteen.

"Oh my god". Screamed mrs Crabobple.

The canteen was a disgrace. They had obuisly forgot to clean it. Lollie wrappers all over the floor. Big puddles of orange juice. Banana skins all over the sink. Half eaten pizzas on plates. Pretty much everything else was eaten.

The next day they didnt hear the end of it. Seriosly.

It was a good idea but, it has to be more longer and more details and a lot of spelling mistakes.

I liked your story but you need more details and need to check your spelling otherwise it was a good story