SO-Bailey+B.

Introduction: Hey whats, my name is Bailey Bowe and I am a 6th grader living in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. My favorite sport is soccer. I am a soccer maniac. I'm on a 7th grade soccer team and i play everyday. My favorite team is Italy. Some other sports i play are Basketball and Tennis. I also like to run. When i grow up i would like to be a Chef and travel the world. Some things i do in my spare time are hanging out with friends and making video's with them. I love to listen to music. My favorite musician is Keith Urban. I go to South Middle School. My favorite subjects are Math and Ready. I hope you read my story, and pleae comment.

Story: ** Top Secret: Diary of the President ** March 26, 2009: There is always a time in history where a new President of the United States is elected. On an important day in 2009 a fresh, new President made history. He was the first African American President. His name is Barack Obama. Many people only know one side of Mr. President. Into Politics, has two children, the president! But the big picture that we will be looking at today folks is… //He is a Super Hero//! Numerous amounts of people do not know that about him. But yes, it is the truth. And how would I know that? I am… “//The Obamanator//”… as people like to call me. But in Europe they call me… “//The Rock Obama//” You may not know this about my wife but she is a superhero too. We are partners when it comes to saving the world. Michelle’s super name is… “//Vigorous//” But please if you tell anyone, I will half to resign from my Presidential life because I made a pledge that super hero work comes first. So please, if you tell, it will fee great melancholy for my family and I. March 26, 2009: How do I do it you ask? I have a night shift, so superhero work doesn’t affect my presidential life. You might have many questions about this matter, but we have to get on with the story… I have super strength so I can easily win a fight with a villain. I can become a big ball of hard rock. I use this so I can squish a villain or anything that needs to be destroyed. That is how I got the name “//The Rock Obama”// because the first time I used that special power was in Paris, France. Michelle’s special powers fit her very well. She is never tired and always energetic. She is a very strong super hero I would have to say. Strong so she can do all of her flips and handsprings. Another power is flexibility. She is one of the most active super hero’s there is. That is why her name is… “//Vigorous//” March 27, 2009: That is pretty much it about us, wait, there is more…Our arch Nemesis is Dr. Whirlwind. (He is also on a night shift too, so we really have to be arch Nemesis’.) Dr. Whirlwind has strong powers like us. He can control the weather. He can make a twister out of his hands. But the worst thing is he can call in on his friends which are little tornado’s about 3 feet tall. They are very pesky irritating little things. Once they establish tickling you, they can’t stop! It was a cool autumn night in 1989. Michelle and I were still dating knowing that we were both supers, and we were taking a nice stroll in the park. We were by the stream when we heard petite voices coming from the big berry bush. “Come here little love birds, we have a surprise for you.” Michelle and I still did not know who are nemesis was going to be yet. The Marshal was going to tell us next week. The voices kept talking. We walked behind the bushes and we found a strange man dressed in a gray coat that was extended to the knees. “Hello my Arch Nemesis’, how are you two lovebirds today?” He said laughing. “I didn’t know that my two Nemeses’ were a couple! I am //Dr. Whirlwind//. We will be getting to know each other a lot, am I right?” Suddenly //Dr. Whirlwind// started to fight. He took out a whip cream bottle and started spraying whip cream in my eyes. I couldn’t see that well but in the corner of my eye I saw he was going to kick me in the stomach. I grabbed his coat and flipped him around. Then //Vigorous// kicked him in the stomach. “This won’t be the end! I have more whip cream!” //Whirlwind// shouted. //What a loser,// I thought to myself. March 30, 2009: //Whirlwind// kept coming back to try to “//conquer the world”// I guess. But he never got that far. I like to think of myself as Mr. Krabs in SpongeBob Square pants and him as Plankton, always trying to take over. How would I know that? Don’t ask.
 * By: Bailey Bowe **

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? **I think that the plot was a very interesting one, this story of superheroes is a good one. My suggestion to Bailey is that she has to focus more in the plot because she doesn´t give me some of exciting parts in the plot, however she did a good job.** 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? **Well, the problems that characters face are not too complicated, their only complication is that nobody have to now about their powers, so that doesn´t give much suspense, but it is interesting. The climax doesn´t satisfied me because it was interesting when the characters fight but the resolution doesn´t was good enought, neverless I like sponge bob haha. I think Bailey could change the end by putting a surprising ending.**

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? **Well Obamanator and Vigorous are very interesting characters because they have double life so I think that characterization its fine. I think that the dialogue between characters was very week, and I love narrator´s opinion.** 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? **In this story I use my imagination a lot, I imagine everything. I think that Bailey need to put more details like how like they dressed? or how they developed their time or stuff like that.** 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? **The ending part needs improvement, Bailey you do a very good job!, I really like your story and I just love the part you talked about sponge bob, but, I think that in the end you could put something more exciting! but I like the ending!**