BF-Yana

===**Hi! My name is Yana and I live in Spain, Barcelona. I come from Russia, Moscow.I love animals but I hate insects.I have 1 brother called Mark and 1 sister called Evelyn. My sister is 3 and my brother is 14 and Im 11 but my birthday is July 10th, I really dont like my birthday day because nobody is on July so I do it before. I love dancing and I really like sports.I love travelling but I travell really rare.  I love shopping. I have a dog called Tyson he is a yorkshire my mum decided the name 4 fishes and 2 turtles. I had lots of pets before but as always they die or they fly away but once I had a really nice dog in Russia his name was staff not like stuff. My favourite hobby is drawing, roller skating, Horseback riding and gimnastics on horses. My favourite video IS WOW and call of duty, even if they are boy games I like to play them with my brother. ** === ===**My favourite colour is Red and purple. I dont like reading or doing homework, I think weekends are to relax.** ===
 * Playing with my brother is strange and fun after all nearly all brothrs hit each other like my brother and I.**




=**The Last Dinner**= "Well, lets make a toast!", said Dan. "Yes!" said the president of building houses. “I toast because environment doesn't count in this life!" As the president drank wine slowly Dan, Isabella, Kirsten, Ashton and Mark with an evil eyesight looked at him and drank he didn't drink wine he drank poisonous. When he stopped drinking the president noticed something wrong, after 3 minutes the poisonous started affecting, the president started chocking slowly. "AAAAGH!" the others pretended they were worried. As the president die Dan, Ashton and Mark made a grave. After the president die Dan put the dead body in the grave. The next day all the police were looking for the president of building houses. While that was happening the Dan, Isabella etc... Were making another dinner for an other person. After a while they invited a person and so days and days until one day they invited a girl who did not like the world and she through garbage to the floor. When they were eating Ashton asked a question, "Do you think you will change?", she said no so he told to make a toast. “I toast because garbage doesn't affect the world." “Sorry I don't drink" said the girl. "Well one time doesn't affect!" said Kirsten. "Drink!" shouted Mark. And the girl started to look worried so Isabella stopped the shouting and told Dan that she only a little girl and they can't kill her. So Dan got angry and went out to shout. After 3 weeks they stopped killing people until one day they invited a really bad person. When the dinner started Isabella was uncomfortable so she didn't speak. After talking Mark proposed to toast. "I toast because people of colored skin are born to serve." “No!" shouted Isabella, don't drink. After a 3 minute pause Dan told everyone to have a little meeting while the racist was waiting. While the others were talking the other person knew what they were up to so he changes his cup with another person’s cup and put poisonous in the other cups. After a while the others came and they toasted everybody were drinking. After one minute everybody started choking. And finally the racist told the policeman to come and explain all while the others were dead.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? The plot is kind of original but it makes me want to read on. Jayden: Plot was interesting with a lot of tension Your story was suspensful and the plot was novel. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Jayden: it would of been nice to know why he added the poision i think you could add why they added the poison

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Jayden: the charcterts were very difffrent and unrelateibale I get a good sense of character from them but i cant enjoy them. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Jayden: You need to add more infomation nexrt time in the next revision i would add why he poisoned the pres. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? Jayden:The infomation I dont think it makes sense that he added poisonous it should be poison.