SMS+Group+2

=SMS Group 2=

Introductions
Meet Nick Meet Michael

Story
The Adventures of Iowa and Billy

Once upon a time a boy named Billy was very upset because he thought his family did not appreciate him the way he deserved. So one day Billy was storming up ideas to impress his mom and dad. Billy could not think of anything, so he turned the TV on so he could think. Before he knew it, it was like he was in a deep trance watching Iowa Johnson, Billy's favorite TV show. Johnson was advertising a new contest for any fan to win 1 free adventure with him. On TV it showed a toll free number that Billy dialed immediately, Billy called at least 17 times but no luck. But just as he was about to give up he said,”I did it 17 times one more time wont hurt. Billy had won the contest. Billy was ecstatic. His name flashed on the TV set. He had won! Billy was so happy, that he screamed  OH **JEEZ** !**(that says jizz, except spelled wrong. If you are trying to say Geez thats how you spell it :)**. Iowa Johnson announced his name. Billy was so excited that he called to confirm his adventure, which was a week from then. When that glorious day finally came, Billy cleaned the whole house. Then, the doorbell rang, conveniently after he had just finished cleaning. Iowa Johnson and his trusty sidekick, Chang, were very excited to meet Billy. Iowa Johnson then said,  Wow Billy, your house is quite spectacular. Then, Iowa Johnson asked if he could have a glass of water because of his long walk from the train station. Billy could not believe that his favorite adventurer was in his house. Iowa Johnson had a new invention called Foggle, and he wanted to show Billy.  This is a secret Billy, you can not tell anyone!, said Iowa Johnson. Billy agreed to the terms and wanted to know what Foggle was. So, Iowa told him all about it. The invention was an unbreakable cement substance that can be added onto structures, big structures. Billy was amazed at this new invention. Iowa then told Chang to go and sit down, because he was tired as well. Billy went with Chang to give him a chair. And while he did that, Iowa Johnson sat down and took his hat off and turned the TV on to Channel 6. He was watching a news story about the town dam which had been around for about 200 years. He was also watching that there was some major damage to the dam. So, Billy, Chang, and Iowa said that they should fix the dam. So they walked over to the local dam. The dam was about to explode. Then Billy just randomly screamed “Foggle”. Iowa knew what Billy was trying to say. So Billy and Iowa came up with a plan to get the “Foggle” smeared all over the cracks and crevices of the dam. Iowa got his trusty grapple hook and flung to the top of the dam. “It's secure” said Johnson. So billy grabbed the rope and climbed up slowly. He could see one main crack that was the biggest problem. When he finally filled every crack he remembered that there was still that one, big, annoying crack, It took about 5 minutes to fill that one crack. Billy had done it. He had saved the town, his town! Every one was so thankful of Billy, Iowa, and Chang. They held a giant hero party and Billy was all over the news. The end a story by Nick and Mike.

PEER REVIEW

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? This is a very cool story! It's very funny and unique. My suggestion to you is to watch your run-ons and spelling! 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The problems that you give the character do not seem that suspenseful. The climax is interesting, but you need to add more detail because in some parts I can tell you tried to hurry! 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? These characters are not lifelike but they are enjoyable! I would just add more detail about the characters. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? This story is very funny, but I think you need more imagery! i thought the story was good though!

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? Right before the end needs the most improvement because I feel that you did it too fast and I didn't really get what you were trying to tell me! PEER REVIEW (group 2)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? We think this is a very cool story, its very funny. I would watch out with writing numbers, write out all of the numbers under 100. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? You need to change some of the words. You use no luck or odd a lot. Along with but. To make the story swift and smooth you have to give it so UMPH! Use words like nominal, eccentric. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I think you could tell us more about the characters. The characters are not life-like but they're enjoyable. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Yes the details help me imagine the story but you need for images to help the reader see and hear it better. You need to add details in the story like what started this all off, when, where and more characters and stuff you see and hear about in peoples everyday life.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I think you need to look at your grammer and also look at when you are using parenthesis, sometimes there are random spaces at the first word of your character speaking.

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