SO-Marissa+B.

** Introduction:**
Hi my name is Marissa Brown and I am a sixth-grader from Wisconsin. I have two major intrests which are competitive figure skating and animals. I have been figure skating since I was four and am now in Senior Club at my local Skating Rink. Animals on the other hand have been with me forever. Right now I have 1 dog (Cocoa) 2 cats (Mittens and Whiskers) 1 dwarf hamster (Jasmine) 1 albino corn snake (crystal) 1 scorpian (Scorpio) 1 hermet crab (Romeo) 2 cockroaches (Daisy and Heirm) 1 giant millipeede (Millie) 1 snapping turtle (Rocky) 6 fish (Mrs. Gupp Gupps, Edward, Bella, Dan, Katie, Naomi) and a snail (Heirm Jr.). When i grow up i would really like to be a vet.I also have one brother Aaron who is 14 and sometimes really annoying then my parents John and Karen. A few of my favorite foods are pizza with Canadian Bacon and Pineapple on it, cashews, and Stuffed Shells which are shell shaped noodles that my mom stuffs with about seven diffrent types of cheese and then covers with meat sauce. Oh and if you haven't noticed yet my favorite colors are Pink, Light Blue, Dark Blue, and Purple.

**Paste your story here:**
** Callie ** By Marissa Brown Eight years ago, a box on the sidewalk was overturned as the grey clouds turned to black. A roaring crack of thunder frightened even me as my mother and I walked down to the rusty silver Cadillac. We heard a frantic cry coming from the box and there in the corner was a little mutt. The top of her face, her nose, down her back, down her legs, and her tail were all brown. The bottom of her face, and her belly were white. We took her to our petite sky blue house and named her Callie. As Callie grew from young, vigorous puppy into an older, much less energetic dog, my mother became much more irritated with her. “Callie!” yelled my mother as Callie spilled over the garbage can, running from my mother Lucinda. Just as my mom started to gain on Callie, Ryan, my baby brother, started crying and of course my mother ran to go help the baby. It was always stupid Ryan my blonde haired, fair skinned, blue eyed two year old baby brother, and he looked just like my mother. Everyone would always say he was so adorable. Then there was me, the brunette, and brown eyed, tan twelve year old. My mother said I look just like my low-life of a father; whoever he was. “Alyssa, I can’t make supper tonight, would you //please// go down to McDonalds and get something for yourself.” She said just before putting Ryan down for the night. “But why can’t I just make something here?” I would try to ask her, but of course it would always be the same answer of “Just go! I need to take care of Ryan and I can’t have you bothering me.” She would say but, I always knew what was going on when I left. That’s when she would hurt Callie. I had no choice. I got on my bike and rode down the dark alleyway at 10:00 at night to go to McDonalds. By myself. Again. The server at McDonalds, Bayley as his name tag said, looked quit surprised as I walked through the doors, the only customer in the worn down, restaurant. I ordered my Big Mac and sat down. After I was finished I left and they closed right after I was gone. When I got back home from McDonalds I saw that Ryan was sleeping and my mom was up in her room. That’s when I noticed Callie, laying in the middle of the kitchen floor. “Come here Callie.” I tried calling her but all she could do was turn her head. Blood was streaming out of her nose, making a pool of blood all around her. “Oh my god Callie!” I shouted and ran towards her. I saw that not only was her nose bleeding, but there was a huge gash on the side of her leg. It was already starting to get infected. I tried to get Callie to stand up and try walking, but she could only walk on two legs so I figured her left back leg was probably broken. I went down to the damp, dark, cool laundry room that was filled with spiders and their webs, to grab a towel from the rusty, broken down washing machine that we //still// haven’t replaced. I grabbed the peach towel, already stained with the blood that had been left on my hand from Callie, and thought to myself; //at least this isn’t the worst my mother’s done//. I ran back into our stainless steel kitchen to find Callie dragging herself towards me. I started running to her; I wrapped the peach – that was now almost completely red – towel around her and began picking her up. She started squealing and I tried calming her. “It’s okay Callie, please, please, please be quiet.” I whispered to her. I got her into my arms, and started running through our navy blue living room that didn’t match the house at //all//; I got up the stairs and past our old bathroom and finally into my pink and yellow Minnie Mouse themed bedroom that hadn’t been remodeled since I was two, I set Callie on my Minnie Mouse bed spread and locked the door. Callie would be sleeping here tonight. If my mom ever saw me taking care of Callie, I’d be grounded for a month. Trust me it’s happed, but I’m willing to take the chance. In the morning the bright light of the sun shown down on my face as I got up and stretched. My back ached so much from sleeping on the floor while Callie slept on the bed. “Hey Callie,” I tried calling her, “Callie?” I tried again. No answer. “Oh NO Callie!” I saw that my mother had come in the middle of the night, unlocked my door, and taken Callie. I started running. I stopped, for there taped on my door was a note, it read, // Dear Alyssa, //// I found Callie as you might have guessed and I took her. //// I’m so glad you’re a heavy sleeper. //// Now then there are new rules for helping the Mutt. //// Obviously my punishment for you isn’t getting through to you so I thought of a new idea. //// Starting now, whenever you try to help that ungrateful Mutt, she gets in a little accident. //// Now go downstairs, into the living room behind the sofa and I have a surprise for you. // // Love, Mom // I ran down to the living room and there behind the couch was another note, I unwillingly took the envelope taped to the back of the couch and opened it. I noticed something that almost made me vomit on the spot. The envelope was sealed with a gruesome mixture of wax and blood. //Callie’s blood//. I opened it, and read it, // Alyssa, //// I hope you noticed the envelope seal. //// Don’t worry honey; I didn’t cut her or anything to get the blood. //// That was just from the gash on the side of her ribs that happened when she “fell” against the glass wall. //// Meet me in the kitchen. //// Now! // // ~Mommy // I ran as fast as I could to the kitchen, fearing for Callie’s life. In the middle of the kitchen was not my mother as I’d thought, but a kennel; Callie’s kennel. Running towards the kennel I opened it in relief, Callie was inside but, badly injured. Her ribs were caked with dried blood and there were still bits of glass wedged into her paws. “Oh Callie,” I said, “I’m so glad to see you alive!” and I truly was. I raced up the steps with Callie in her kennel and ran into the old, chipping bathroom; got the same dirty, bloody, peach towel I had used earlier, and started picking out pieces of glass. My heart froze suddenly as I heart the garage door creak open, and a car door slam. I ran to my bedroom and put Callie in her kennel in the closet. I locked my door and turned off the lights, pretending to be asleep. I heard my mother trying to pick my door lock with her bobby pin. She suddenly stopped and I heard footsteps faintly disappearing down the hallway and into my mother’s room. I thought Callie and I were safe. I was completely wrong. In the morning it wasn’t my usual alarm clock that woke me but, the sound of a moving car. I was in the passenger seat, my mother at the wheel and Callie in the back in her kennel. “Where are you taking me?” I yelled with so much fear in me, it felt like it had been injected into my bloodstream. “You’ll see sweat heart, just go back to sleep.” She replied as if nothing were wrong at all. “Where are you taking me!” I yelled at her with as much strength as I could conger up. “We’re here now so stop your whining Alyssa.” She said. I finally noticed where my mother had parked the car. She had driven up to the edge of a dark, depressing cliff, which plummeted down to shat looked like no end. “What are we doing here?” I asked again and again, but she just kept saying, “You’ll see.” My mother went around to the back of the Cadillac and took out Callie’s kennel, with Callie inside. With no defenses of her own, except for whimpering, Callie could do nothing when my mother slammed her cage into the dirt with all of her might. “Stop it!” I yelled. My mother stopped to my surprise. “You know what Alyssa,” my mother said, “this is wrong.” My heart nearly skipped a beat as she spoke those words. “Really? Do you mean it?” I asked without much hope, it must just be another sick joke she always played on me. “Of course Alyssa, all you have to do is tell this police officer I’m about to call that I’ve //never// done anything to hurt Callie.” “Never!” I shouted, “I will //not// tell that officer something that you should be put in jail for, you awful mother of mine.” “Okay then.” She said as she slowly walked to the edge of the cliff and began dangling Callie’s cage over it. “What are you doing?” I yelled. “Well you wouldn’t talk to that cop so I thought I would maybe try some different ways to convince you.” Right then I knew that I would rather die for Callie then let my mother win. I jumped right out of the car and ran towards my mother. I lunged at Callie just as my mother was about to let go of her kennel that was hanging over the cliff. I landed back on the cliff just barley making and opened Callie’s kennel. I let her out and held her tight but, my footing slipped and Callie and I began sliding down into certain doom. Just then everything slowed down and I had time to think, //this was the reason I was put on earth, this was my purpose// I thought to myself. As things started to speed up again, Callie and I were quickly falling down into the abyss. “I love you Callie.” I whispered just before we hit the cold, rocky ground. Everything went black. I felt no pain. All I saw was a bright light ahead of me. I ran towards it, Callie at my side, and I realized that nothing bad would ever happen to us again, Callie and I were safe and we were happy. Most of all we were finally, free.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?