ISKL+Selena,+Shazreen

Introduction About Selena and Shaz

Arial walked towards the huge metal spaceship. She shielded her eyes with her hands from the bright light that came in the distance. A servant alien, named Twelve-three, escorted her tenderly up the narrow entry. Sitting in front of Arial stood three unattractive, unappealing, green-blueish aliens. One of them had a nose that was so extended that it seemed like it wasn't on it's face. To the right of that frightful alien stood the leader of the pack. He was wearing a long purple robe, that flowed along the ground, covering his ginormous feet completely. His head was as big as a basket ball. He waited patiently, in his giant king seat. Beside the leader, stood his assistant. His assistant was tiny. About half the size of me, and I'm only twelve. They all looked serious, as they stared deep into my innocent blue, sparkling eyes. Arial took several deep breaths, and a few more steps towards the three aliens. For a few seconds there was a moment of silence, until the leader broke it.

"You may start, Earthling." The leaders deep, humble voice echoed through out the spaceship. Arial's hands were quivering, she felt as if she might collapse any second. Just the thought that the story that she was just about to tell, which she worked so very long at, could save her entire planet, made her body tremble. Every few seconds she would try to speak but no words came out of her dry mouth. Arial could hear how nervous she was through her crackling voice, but she forced herself to start......

Alana is a typical straight A student. Every teacher loves her. She's a teachers pet. She's sweet and innocent and likes to finish things in time and do extra work to please the teachers. She is the whole package. But there's one thing that's missing from her life- excitement, surprises and maybe a bit of a personality for her to work on. There is something missing that is holding her back from being a happy, eager, excited human. That something is mystery. Alana had always wanted to go on adventures and explore, but every time she got to it, something kept holding her back. Alana held back because every time she got hyped up about an adventure, she heard a voice at the very back of her head saying that whatever she does or finds can't be as interesting as she would think it could be. So she thought it would be pointless.

"Another A, again..." Alana slid down in her blue chair, as the school bell rang and she quietly walked out of class. "I don't see what your problem is. Everyone loves getting A's," Alana's best friend Kristen said. " Sure it's great, getting A's, but if you get them all the time, then it's not really that exciting anymore, and also, sometimes people are jealous of me and feel as if they aren't doing enough work, and some of them even hate me for being good at work and getting A's all the time." Alana responded as she opened her locker. Kristen gave her a quick shrug. "I have to get back home. I have to babysit again. I swear that this is getting really bad, the kids are all nice, but as soon as their parents are out, they turn into monsters (sigh). Well, I can't be late, bye." said Kristen as she gave an unhappy wave to Alana and walked toward her Mom's car. Alana started walking home, thinking, how weird she might seem to others, but then thinking how they might not know how it feels like to seem so perfect. After a couple of minutes, it started to getting breezy and windy. Little pieces of dirt from the ground picked up from the wind and got caught in her eyes. Her eyes started to tear up. "Argh. I hate walking home alone when it gets breezy like this," Alana whispered to herself. After a couple of blocks down, Alana started hearing a mechanical sound coming from the bushes. Alana was a little scared at first but decided to ignore it, since it would probably be nothing. But every few seconds she would hear it again. Finally Alana was scared and annoyed from the sound. " Who's there?" Alana shouted. It was silent. The only sound Alana could hear was the wind whistling as it flew past the trees. Alana called out again. Still no answer. " This is not funny you guys!" Alana started walking towards the bushes, where the sound happened to come from. Closer.. closer. She put her hands into the bushes. She grabbed them and pulled them apart. " Ahhhhh!" Alana yelled. "Who are you? What are you doing here? WHAT ARE YOU?!" Alana stood still, fascinated but frightened of what was just a distance away. She stood there, as still as a statue, staring at the green, blue monstrous creature that stood before her. Alana had seen nothing like the creature. "I know this may sound strange but..... I'm a human, and you don't seem to be a human of any type. So, from your appearance, are you an alien?" Alana couldn't believe what she was saying, but at the same time couldn't believe what she saw in front of her eyes. For a moment, there was an awkward silence, then the blue, green creature spoke. "Hi, my name is Zero. Are you an Earthling?" he sat in the bush, looking deep into Alana's eyes, waiting for an answer. Alana just stood there a moment, looking around for any people. The place looked deserted, like the only people or alien and person on the planet was Zero and her. "I'm Alana, and I think that I'm an Earthling, if that's what you call humans, but are you an alien?" She whispered, feeling as if she was in a dream. "You know you don't have to whisper, there's nobody in about a mile from here." Zero whispered back. "I know, just in case. But you haven't answered my question. Are you an alien? What are you doing here? And how on Earth would you know that there are no people around here in about a month?" Alana asked, curious. "It's all because I'm an Alien, I come from Mars, and-" Zero was cut off by a loud, sound from above that made the ground shake. "DUCK DOWN, HIDE!" Zero pulled me into the bush and pushed me down to the ground, in a gentle way but a little harshly. "What's happening? What's that sound?" Alana asked, as she peeked up a little from the bush. " Shh, my spaceship is here to save me, and if they see you, they will capture you, and maybe even me for talking to you, and after that, we just will have to wait and see what they do to us, and I can't promise you it will be pleasant." Alana quietly ducked down, and hid deep under the bushes, as her heart started beating, beating so heavy, so heavy it felt as if it was making the ground shake. After about five minutes, the dust cleared. The space ship had crashed into the ground. There was no movement from the ship for a while. Alana was terrified and Zero could see that from the horror that was in her eyes, Zero was concerned, so he had a plan. He would guide her home, for her safety first, and then would return later to his fellow alien friends in the spaceship. They silently wandered up the road, leading to Alana's house. Quietly because the spaceship still stood in its place. Alana's parents had been out of the town, so Zero would be free to roam around her house without being caught. When they arrived at her house, Alana suddenly broke the silence with a question. Her curiousness was overwhelming. They chattered and commented on each of their planet. Zero was very intelligent, he knew some information on Alana's planet- Earth. “What is your planet like? I heard that there might have been life on your planet but I had not known for sure. Is it anything like here?" She asked, curious. “It is smaller than Earth. Also, it is very cold. I only came with you here to make sure you were safe at home. Now I must leave and rejoin my chaps at the ship.”

Zero decided to go to the crash-site and see if any one survived. When Zero got to the ship, there was no one in it. It had been radio-controlled. He tried to contact his planet, but had no luck, the crash must have destroyed and wrecked any type of communicating system, wires were scattered everywhere, sparks were flashing everywhere. Zero prayed to his Alien-Leader for hope that he would somehow be able to depart from Earth and return safely to his home planet- and soon! It was getting dark out and Zero had no luck contacting his mates. He decided to go back to Alana's house for the night maybe and would come back tomorrow to investigate better. Before they left, they took the weapons. Alana said she wanted to clean them.

Zero half-ran, half-walked back to Alana's lonely house, keeping a close eye on his surroundings, if anyone was watching him. He quietly tip-toed into Alana's house and searched around the house for any sign of her. She was washing the dishes in the kitchen. He crept up towards her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around swiftly to see my house and looked me in the eyes. She held her hand up high and quickly spun around and smacked his face, BANG, right on the cheek. "OUCH!" Zero yelped. "You deserve it!" Alana scolded. Zero gasped in disgust, still rubbing his bright red cheek. "They were not there and I think they escaped. I tried to contact my planet but it was no use. We have to be careful now, they could be anywhere out there, and they will probably find me here because of my scent. Could I stay here for the night? You don't mind do you? It will be as if I'm not here." Zero rushed his words as he was still surprised by Alana's sudden reaction. "Emm- I don't mind but my parents are going to be back by tomorrow morning- if we leave early to your crash site then I think they won't see us" just as she said this, she was cut off by the loud bang and the swing of the door as three beastly monster walked into her house, without permission and shouted, " WHO ARE THEY??" " Oh Gosh-" Zero faced Alana and swiftly turned to talk to the 5 beastly aliens "- what are you doing here? Where were you just now? Are you ready to go back to Mars? And don't hurt her. She's with me." "Oh we won't hurt her, YET. She's only human, but we might have to rethink punishing you. How dare you try to hide this from us- this meaning HER. She's human and we are against humans and you knew that. So why?" One of the aliens lectured him. "So, punish me, but don't hurt her, she's innocent. Now, what do you want?" Zero demanded. "Our spaceship's engine has been destroyed badly from the crash and we don't know how to fix it. If we don't fix it SOON, the humans will find out about us and send the police or investigators to come and get us. We will be exposed to human's eyes. Since you are the best mechanic, I figured you could help us and you ARE the reason we are here, you know. Well, partly the reason. Half is because you ended up here and we came to get you and the other is to CONQUER this planet! So you MUST help us, NOW." The other alien explained. "Okay, let's go then. Alana would you want to join us?" Zero asked politely. "Uhh- sure, why not?" Alana requested, concernedly. Zero held his hand out and Alana quickly took it. They jogged towards the crash site, way too fast for Alana to catch up and Zero had to drag her most of the way. As soon as he got there, it took all of the aliens to open this huge door of which had the huge, silver engine inside it. Zero worked fast, asking for tools as time went by. When he was finished, he was covered with sweat and oil smudges smeared on his alienated face. Alana started weeping as the aliens were staring at her like lasers were coming out of their eyes, meeting hers. Zero had come by her said and comforted her and asked what was the matter. She whispered in his ear, "You have to leave, don't you? And you can't bring me right? And I'm going to die anyways, because of the aliens right?" She wiped the tears that streaked her face and hugged Zero tightly before he could answer. "I'm sorry, but I don't belong here. I will try my best to convince them from taking over this planet. You are all innocent." Zero whispered below his breath. "Okay." Alana let go and gestured Zero to head in to the spaceship. By now, all the other aliens had already started up the engine and waited for Zero at the top of the steep stairs. Zero waved a goodbye to Alana and just as he walked up the stares and looked back at her for the last time, Alana noticed a trace of a tear streaking down his face to his neck, but maybe it was only imagination.

PEER REVIEW (Saint Michael)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? The plot was original but very confusing. Where did the grenades come from? There were also a lot of misplace commas and missing quotation marks and run on sentences. It got very confusing toward the end and you switched back and forth between first and third person.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? In this area the story is good.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Yes the chractors were good but you need to be more specific about where Ariel starts her story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? The story was well written in this sense.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The last part was very confusing. Why would she have grenades and RPG's in her bathtub?

