SO-Victor+L.

My name is Victor. I like to build model aircrafts and classic cars. I like to eat smoked or grilled salmon with white rice. My friends are Michael V., David E., Mitchell S. Jordon Vold McDew, and Peter E. What I want to do for a living when I grow up is be a mechanic during summer and for my main job teach. The Visitor By Victor Lokken “Oh, come on Tony were going to be late for school." “I’m coming, Susan, I’m coming.” “Were going to be late for the bus, hurry up.” “Man, where’s my gym clothes. Ah, there they are. Here I come.” He dashed down the stairs and met up with Susan. “There’s the bus,” yelled Susan, “Were going to make it.” “Well you kids are a tad bit late aren’t you,” said the bus driver. “Thanks for waiting, and were sorry,” they both said. It was a short ride to school like usual. “I wish something exciting happened in school,” Tony said. “Hey Tony the weenie,” said Jack Johnson, “Give me your lunch money!” “No,” said Tony abruptly. “Give me your money or I’ll take your friends’ lunch money.” “Okay then.” Tony took out a bunch of napkins and threw them in Jack’s face. After that he whacked Jack so hard in the face he put him in the ground. “Oh you’re definitely going to be sorry for that. After school in the park,” said Jack angrily, “and maybe I’ll invite a few friends.” When the bus got to school there were a few dark storm clouds in the distance. ”That’s funny the forecast didn’t predict rain, said Jenny,” the sitting across from Susan and Tony. “Don’t worry those clouds will pass right by,” said Tony. But they didn’t. By the time class started it started to rain. “Okay class,” said Mrs. Blackberry, “we’re going to start on run-on sentences. Oh, hhhmmm.” She looked all around the classroom for the worksheets. “Well class I think I’m going to have to go run more. Sit tit I’ll be right back.” As soon as she left the class immediately started to talk. “Hey Zach,” yelled out Tony, “Did you get the construction paper for math.” “Oh crap I think I forgot a bought it,” Zach yelled back. “Oh man, Mrs. Blackberry is going to kill us.” There was a huge boom of thunder and a big crack of lightning but then the worst happened. The power went out. There was a big shriek in the classroom then everyone went quiet. “I want my mommy,” said Heidi the baby. Mrs. Blackberry returned shortly after Heidi said what she said. “Well the principal told me that there were a couple transformers out,” said Mrs. Blackberry, but I’m sure power will come soon. Instead it got darker and darker until it looked like night out. It kept raining and raining. Then later there was a loud clunk in the school. “What was that said Susan,” piercing the quiet in the classroom. “Probably a boiler,” said Zach. “I gotta go to the bathroom said Jack Johnson.” To Be Continued…
 * Introduction:**

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?