SO-Park+W.

**Introduction:**
Hi, how are you doing. My name is Park Walter. My favorite things to do are to play video games, read, play with friends, and play outside (when it is nice). My favorite foods are definitely pizza and spaghetti and my favorite sport to play and watch is definetaly baseball. In school I love math class and science class more than anything else.

** Edward and the Goblins of the West ****By Park Walter **
It was a beautiful spring day and Edward merrily strolled down the lane to the butcher’s. The wide lanes of the village always made him feel happy. He loved to watch the venders selling their wares. He had made enough money now from working at the farm to buy at least a couple days’ worth of food for his father and himself. Edward worked at a farm to support his frail father and himself. However times were tough and Edward didn’t make much money at his job, no matter how hard he worked. Edward and his father lived during the 12th century under the rule of King George, a fair and courageous man, who kept their castle and the villagers safe. Edward tried to find new jobs anywhere he could that could pay more than his current job, but he was never chosen. As Edward grew older, he began to become more adventurous. He would explore in the nearby woods and go hunting with his bow of yew that he got for his 12th birthday. He also began to imagine and daydream about places outside of his castle and outside of his village. His father warned him that this “daydreaming” could be dangerous, but Edward paid no heed to his father’s warnings. Then one day, the warning bells were rung. “To arms! To arms! The goblins are attacking with a massive army!”, yelled the soldiers as they reached for their bows, swords, and spears. “Goblins?” thought Edward, “I’ve never heard of them acting hostilely before!” Edward wondered if he could help, as he had a steady shot with his bow. He grabbed his bow and rushed outside. What he saw would shake him up forever. He saw a wave of black and gray coming towards the town, trampling everything in its path. The castle’s knights went out to meet the attacking force trying to look valiant and bold, even though inside they felt feeble and weak. The goblins came upon them fast and the battle began. Edward felt a rush of excitement and adrenaline as the goblins approached his hut. He let loose a few arrows killing about three or four goblins but there were about 1000. He knew that they would kill all of them when all of a sudden they began to retreat! Edward could not figure this “miracle” out. He sprinted as fast as he could to the castle, where the king was announcing that he would give 20,000 shillings to the man who could follow the goblins so that his men could find them and destroy them forever. Then, they could never bother the kingdom again. But before any other man could have said a word, Edward jumped up and yelled, “I will accept this quest and claim the 20,000 shillings as my own!” The entire courtroom looked at Edward. All of a sudden, Edward began to feel very nervous. He glanced around at all of the important people sitting at their shiny wooden desks. “You would take on this task,” asked the king? “Yes I will,” replied Edward; I need the money, for my father and I do not have much. “Alright”, said the king, “You will be given a sword, armor, shield, and other supplies to help on your journey. You will begin traveling in three days beginning to travel toward the west.” As Edward began his long walk home, he thought about the burden he had brought upon himself. He wondered how his father could get along without him while he was away. When he reached home, he immediately told his father about what he had gotten himself into and his father told him that they would have a talk. Edward sat down nervously on the rocking chair in the corner, while his father sat himself down in his favorite chair, one that he made himself. While his father was doing this, Edward looked around his home; a wooden fireplace, low eating table, wood stove, and they were roughly three miles away from the village and only one mile away from the farm where he worked. It was quite the home. “Now,” said his father, “What have we got ourselves into now?” “Well you see father,” Edward began, “I heard the king was having a meeting and I decided to attend. When I arrived, the king was telling everybody that he would give 20,000 shillings to the man that would follow the goblin armies and then tell his armies where they were so that we could destroy them and bring peace to the village. I volunteered because I knew that we could really use the money. However father, I wonder secretly how you will get along without me while I am on this adventure.” “Now, now my dear boy,” Edward’s father said, “Don’t you go worrying about me when you will most likely be facing off against vicious goblins in roughly four days! I should be the one worrying about you...” For the next few days, Edward helped his father prepare and began to prepare himself. The king sent food and the 20,000 shillings and also promised to Edward that if he died while on the adventure, a proper funeral would be held in his honor. Edward also asked the king of a favor. “What could I do for you my dear boy,” the king asked? “Well,” Edward said, “If someone could just take care of my father while I am away, it would make me feel much more comfortable about leaving.” “Well I will be sure that something is arranged,” replied the king. After that Edward felt much better about his father’s safety. Finally the day of departure had arrived. “Good bye father,” Edward said, “I will miss you greatly.” “I shall miss you also my dear boy,” his father replied, “and may god bless you in your quest.” So Edward started on his long journey with sword, bow, shield, clothes, and food, to the west where he knew the goblins awaited his arrival. That night he stopped at the forests of Gideon to rest and eat some food for he wanted to wake bright and early the next day so that he could reach the goblin fortress within a week. He took out pen, paper, and ink and began to chart and map out the route that he had taken so far so that the knights could figure out the way to go. However a strange thing posed to Edward as he meandered towards the goblins, “Where are the goblins and strange creatures I have heard of,” he wondered, “for I have gazed upon none during my journey of late.” Too soon to say, as Edward had been walking near the outline of the forest of Gideon, as strange creatures dwelled there, a strange noise started up, something like a hissing and a growling coming from deep within the forest. “Now what could that be,” Edward asked aloud, “what is that strange noise?” All of a sudden a Chimera, a beast of mythical proportions; a lion with a snake for a tail and a fire breathing goat head, leaped out of the forest turned around to look at Edward and roared. Edward drew his great bow of yew and slowly took an arrow from his sling and placed its notch onto his bowstring. This action didn’t seem to startle the Chimera so Edward fitted two arrows into the bowstring and began to take aim at the Chimera’s head. TWANG! His aim kept true and the two arrows flew into the Chimera’s head. The noise that came next couldn’t have been matched by 100 cats all fighting for the mouse because that Chimera fell to the ground, screaming with blood flying everywhere as it writhed in pain. Edward felt that this was somewhat an accomplishment, not getting killed and all, so he decided to take a rest and eat something. “Wow,” he thought to himself, “that battle with the Chimera was pretty intense for me.” However, Edward did not know that he would end up facing things much more fearsome and cruel than a Chimera on his long and perilous journey. Edward awoke and felt a light drizzle. “What’s happening?” Edward wondered as he got to his feet. Then the memories of the Chimera came back into his mind. Then he //very// vividly remembered the Chimera attack. He decided that he had better get a move on before the rain began to come down in sheets so that he could find some sort of a lean-to or a shelter. Edward began on his way, whistling to himself and attempting to peer through the murkiness of the rain that was about to begin. All of a sudden Edward’s left and forward foot began to sink into the ground. “Now this can’t be good news,” Edward thought to himself, “usually sinking into the ground is not that great of an omen.” All of a sudden he realized that he must have reached the great range of swamps that the local fishermen called, the asteroid belt. Since there was no real way of seeing through the gloom, Edward decided to write in the journal he was keeping. “Day two,” he began, “have reached the asteroid belt. However there is a fog and a drizzle that prevents me from seeing. Trying to find solution…” Edward all of a sudden came to a start when he heard a strange grunting coming out of the mist. He drew his sword and his heart began beating twice as fast in anticipation. The local hunters and fisherman had warned Edward about mud-men and slime slugs and all sorts of horrible gross creatures that lived in the swamps and he began to feel afraid. All of a sudden a mist wraith took form in the haze. “Hey,” Edward shouted, “who goes there? Are you friend or foe?” “Such a young traveler,” hissed the wraith, “Me thinks that I like you and that I will help you get around the swamps safely, for a price of course.” Well of course Edward was tempted by this offer, but he had heard tales of the wraiths leading people endlessly on forever until they died, next relieving them of their valuables. But Edward figured that he was armed well enough and that this wraith seemed friendly enough so he replied, “Name your price and I will try to comply with your demands.” “Well now,” cackled the wraith, “my price would be 50 shillings and a promise that you won’t double cross me.” “Deal,” said Edward, “how long and how far must we go to cross the swamps?” “Well,” replied the wraith, “it is a five day journey to the other side, about twenty-nine miles of walking as you humans say…” Several days later, after handing over the needed fares to the wraith, Edward was out of the swamps (thanks to the help of his friend the wraith) and was on his way to the fair city of Cameroon, and then to the fortress of the Goblins… The next day on Edward’s courageous and daring quest, he realized that he was coming to the end of his food and water supplies. “Now what do I do,” wondered Edward, “it will be another day’s walk to Cameroon and I am not sure if there are any villages around here and even if there were, I only brought 30 shillings to trade with if I am going to purchase any sort of food.” All of a sudden a farm came into view. “Well just my luck,” thought Edward, “I can ask the kindly farmer and his wife for some food and perhaps some shelter for the night as well.” But what Edward did not know was that this farm and its farmhouse had been inhabited by a foul rancid troll for the past several years and the troll had actually been eating the local livestock of a nearby town too. Unfortunately Edward didn’t know about this, and would have to learn about it the hard way. Edward began to slowly and cautiously approach the door to the farmhouse but hesitated when he saw the blood and spider web encrusted doorframe. This made Edward ease his hand onto the hilt of his sword. Now the nasty old troll was on the second floor, watching Edward’s every move with nasty red glowing eyes and he decided to try to ambush Edward as soon as he walked in the door. However the troll did happen to notice Edward’s firm grip on his sword hilt and the troll decided to be safe, so he dragged a rusty mace from the shadows of an ancient dresser and began to lumber down the stairs. Edward began to knock on the door shouting, “Hello? Is anybody home?” To Edward’s own surprise the door fell right flat on the ground with a loud CRASH that made Edward fall down. As soon as Edward peered inside, he knew right away that either no one lived here, or whoever did was very dangerous or just very sloppy for their was a table overturned, glass everywhere, and there were a few bones on the ground as well. However Edward saw that there were lots of footprints in the grime on the ground and they were pretty fresh as far as he could tell so with great caution he drew his sword and he stepped inside. As the extremely strong scent of mothballs hit Edward he reeled and gagged until he regained sense enough to look around. Before he had left, his father had told him to be extra observant, careful, and sensible so Edward started by taking a look around. All of a sudden he wheeled around. Had something just moved? What could it be? Suddenly a pair of red glowing eyes appeared out of the gloom. Now Edward was very much educated by his father about the creatures that he might encounter on his journey and this was one of them. “A cave troll of course,” Edward thought to himself, proud of the knowledge, “wait a minute,” he began to come back, “this is horrible!” Edward tried to remember all that he could about cave trolls before it attacked him, but the only thing that would come to him was that they hate light. “I guess that will have to do,” yelled Edward and he soared out of the doorway and into the bright afternoon sun. “Also that they are not very bright,” Edward blurted, obvious at the moment because the troll had leaped right after him and right when the sunlight hit the troll he turned into stone in a blinding flash of light and with the sound of rushing water. That night Edward laid down in a moldy old straw filled wagon in the “troll’s” yard and decided to work on his map because when the king’s men passed this he wanted to make sure they knew it wasn’t important and that it was safe. Edward pulled out his last piece of dried salted pork and started to chew drawing his map for the soldiers… Edward was awoken from is deep slumber by the crowing of a rooster. “What’s going on,” Edward wondered, but then he remembered the troll and staying in the wagon and he figured he must have fallen asleep. Edward figured he would have to walk fast and hard that day if he were to reach Cameroon that day and he started on his long, tiresome walk on that fine, warm summer day. That day Edward walked for about 12 miles and by the time he reached Cameroon around 2:00, he was so tired that his legs felt like lead and his feet like they had got cut up on a bunch of sharp rocks. As he hobbled into Cameroon he paused in amazement for this prospect was new. Children were playing in the streets and venders everywhere working to sell their wares. This to Edward was amazing, and he was getting very hungry so he used 15 shillings and bought himself seven pounds of salted pork and a loaf of bread and he found a well to refill his drinking canteen. “I am loaded up pretty good now,” thought Edward to himself, “but where shall I sleep?” But then right then and there, seemed to appear a vender for straw mats who convinced Edward to buy one for three shillings, so that he could travel longer and sleep on the side of the road. Edward then got on his way for the way to the goblin fortress was now only about 20 miles, which for Edward’s strong legs was only the next day’s hike. Edward began to walk and then sat on the side of the road a few hours later when it began to get dark out. He rolled out his new straw sleeping mat and lay down so that he could get some shut-eye before his roughly 14 mile hike to the goblin’s fortress the next day… When Edward awoke, he had a determined feeling in his stomach. Today was the day that he was going to bring the map to the goblin fortress and then he would complete his task and bring the map back to the king and then the soldiers would bring justice upon the foul creatures that killed Edward’s people. Then after Edward had rolled up his sleeping mat, the walk began. Mile one, Edward counted out loud, mile two… Suddenly the ground began to look charred, black, and somewhat unfriendly. Then before Edward knew it, a giant black hulk began to take shape in the gloom. Ominous signs littered around warned Edward to turn back and that he was walking toward the goblin’s fortress but Edward kept walking. Finally he came within 500 yards of the front gate. However he dared not get closer, for there were about 75 guards atop the gate and they all had bows and could have killed Edward if they had seen him. Edward sat down on his mat behind some bushes and began to draw on his map even though it was only midday since he wanted to finish before dark and get far away from the fortress, maybe even back to Cameroon… Finally! Edward stood to examine his work, his map in fine dark lines running this way and that across the page. It was beautiful work and Edward was proud of it. Then Edward rolled up his mat, and headed for the hills of home.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?