CI-Zach

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My Name:  Zach S. My Age:  13 My Hometown:  Pueblo, CO My Hobbies:  Hunting, fishing, 4 wheeling on ATV’s, hiking, i like most things that you do outside in the mountains. My Favorites:  Favorite food is spaghetti, favorite game is Grand Theft Auto 4, Favorite movie is Happy Gilmore, Favorite TV show is Deadliest Warrior, Favorite Hobby is hunting. Other things you should know about me:  I was born here in Pueblo Colorado and have lived here my whole life. I am 13 years old. I like communicating with people around the world on computers and Xbox live. The pets i have are a bearded dragon named Hunter, a turtle named Murtle, a cat named Casey, and a shih tzu dog named Tess.


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My Story __**__ (Paste Here) __  <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: #0070c0; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: #0070c0; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-tab-count: 1; msotabcount: 1;"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: #0070c0; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';">In the Rocky Mountains there was a little town called Lake City. The city was only 40 square acres big. The town was having a problem with a huge grizzly bear that stood 5 feet tall on all four. The town was having a problem with this bear because it kept coming back and it would kill people, tear things apart, and break into homes. The people thought the only solution to this problem was to kill it but no one wanted to do that. They knew something had to be done. This bear has a record of 5 broken into homes, 14 deaths, and 57 dumpsters destroyed. This bear was dangerous. The only options of getting rid of it was to kill it, or tranquilize it and ship it somewhere else. If they shipped it somewhere else then it will just go on a rampage there to. Everyone had made up their mind. There was no other choice they had to kill it, but how? The town hired many people to hunt this bear but no one could do it. They hired 12 people already, and the bear killed all of them. Even though hunters have guns, the bear is just to muscular for the bullets to hurt it. The muscle is so strong that it just deflects the bullets. They didn’t know what to do. Now they know they can’t tranquilize it o move it because the tranquilizer dart won’t work. They decided to poison it. They started to bait it with watermelons that weren’t poisoned <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: #0070c0; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-spacerun: yes; msospacerun: yes;"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; color: #0070c0; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';">so it will get used to it. After about a month of non-poisoned melons, they put poison in it. The bear came back that day and left without eating it. He was too smart for the poison. There was one more option, trapping it. They set up a trap with iron too strong for even a water buffalo to get through. They made it look like grass and trees. We put loads of food in there so it will go in. two weeks later people went to check the trap and there it was In the trap. They brought the news to the town and everyone cheered that the killer bear wasn’t on the loose anymore. When the people went back to get the bear out of the trap so they could transport it, the bear was gone. They decided they were going to make the walls solid, instead of bars. Two weeks later, they checked the trap and the bear was in there. Since the bear hasn’t done anything since they started going after it, they felt bad about not leaving it alone. They all decided to keep it in the cage and they built a wildlife preserve for the animal up in the woods. The preserve is 70 square acres. The bear is still able to get through the fence of the preserve, but he learned his lesson of killing. <span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';">

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
 * <span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Starting - March 29 (2009): **<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">see // and //<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">hear // and //<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

<span style="color: #4f81bd; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Technical Details
1. Punctuation, grammar, word choice.
 * <span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Starting - April 19 (2009): **<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">

<span style="color: #4f81bd; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">The Alien King's Decision
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?
 * <span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Starting May 3 (2009): **<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. <span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif'; text-decoration: none;">