SO-Tyler+C.

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 * Introduction:** Hello! My name is Tyler Cerrato. I am eleven years old, I like to play football, basketball, some baseball and golf. I love music, I have been playing the trap set (drum set) for three years.=====

** The Trespassers ** By: Tyler Cerrato On one normal day in the village of Cerrato, the people talked and wandered around the village finding work to do and games to play. There was never very much to do in the village since most the work was taken care of, and no one was aloud to do very much outside of the village because of the dangers it held. “Mom!” I yelled “I’m sick of being inside these gates let me just go out, what could possibly go wrong?” “You could get hurt, and besides the guards would never let you out.” “So, can’t you just…talk to them or something?” “Sorry Mark I can’t risk you getting hurt.” Later that day I sat around at home thinking about what it would be like if I had a kid in our village around my age. I imagined us sneaking outside the village and running through the woods and over waterfalls, and through creeks. But really I was just sitting there waiting for something to happen, and that night when I lay down in bed I waited for my parents to fall asleep, and when I was almost positive they were asleep I snuck the window, and headed for the old bent and scratched wood gate. When I arrived I looked for a way to get out of the village without being caught. There was a loose board, and I had an idea on getting out. I got a firm grip on the board and slowly pulled the board…Crack! The board snapped but no one heard it. I quickly ran through to get out before anyone saw me. When I was finally out, I had a very relieved and free feeling. I then sprinted to make sure the guards didn’t see me. I walked around for a bit longer when I thought I heard voices and branches snapping. I quickly hid behind a bush and saw what looked like men talking. At that moment I thought my parents could’ve been right and I should’ve stayed in the gate. When they got closer I could hear them talking… “So when are we going to do this?” the first man spoke. “ I don’t know, definitely not tonight, there is not enough time to sneak in through the walls before morning.” “Ok so do you want to sneak in next week Friday?” “Yah, I heard a lot of people are going to a celebration, and are going to be gone.” “Meet you here around 12:00pm,” Said the first man. I watched them walk away and made sure they were completely gone before I moved back to the village. I walked slowly back and I knew in my mind they were going to steal from our village. But I knew know one would believe me, and if my parents did figure out that I went outside of the gate then I would be in trouble. When I arrived at the village it was almost morning and I didn’t want my parents to see me out of my bed. I quickly squeezed through the hole in the fence and put the old loose board back in place. While I was walking quietly back I couldn’t get the image out of my mind. I kept imagining the thieves just sneaking in and taking all of our families stuff, and I, the only person who knew about it wouldn’t do anything I would just stand there helplessly staring at our empty home. I slid up my window and went through. I walked in, shut the window, and lay down in bed only to be awakened in a few minutes. I wake up and see the image of my dad above me. “Good morning,” said my dad, “you look tired.” “Yah,” I said “I couldn’t sleep.” I slowly walked out of bed and felt the chill of the cold floor flow through my body. I got up; walked out the door skipping breakfast and what I saw outside could’ve been one of the happiest moments of my short life. I saw new neighbors, and one other boy who looked like he was the same age as me. I walked over to their house and asked “Is there anything I could do to help you pack up your stuff?” “Yes, If you wouldn’t mind you could help Josh pack up his stuff for his room,” The mom said. I walked over to Josh who was a little shorter than me with dark brown hair and green eyes. “Hey,” I said. “Hey,” Josh said, “Aren’t you the neighbor?” “Yah,” I continued, “Your parents said I should help you pack up.” For the rest of the day I helped josh pack up all of things and I help a little with other things around the very small wooden house. After the day was over I went back to my house starving because I hadn’t eaten all day, so immediately when I got inside I started making a big dinner. When I was done eating I lay down in bed and my eyelids start to feel heavy, and soon I lay there asleep. When I woke up I noticed Josh standing outside just kind of walking around. I walk outside and say to him, “Do you want to come over, and I have to tell you about what happened two nights ago.” “Sure, I’ll be right over I just have to get my stuff ready.” “Okay meet you here” I said Later when he came over I told him all about the thieves and what I heard, the whole time he just stared right at me seeming interested, and looking like he believed me. After that day we decided he could stay over night at our house. But at night when everyone was asleep we decided to sneak outside the fence and look for the thieves’ camp. After about 15-20 minutes of running we found the two same men around a campfire, closer to the small village. It was too hard to hear what they were saying so we slowly moved up and listened… “Ok,” the man spoke “lets go around in sneak in through the gate in back, I saw a loose board we could put up to climb through.” “Ok sounds good, so what’s the plan after that?” “We go to three different houses, the old rugged house next to the gate where we are entering, the house across the street, and the house next to that.” Me and josh both turned to each other at the same time, and gave the same look. We knew they were coming for our houses; we had to do something before Friday night. We ran back to the gate and climbed under the loose board the thieves planned to go under, and then ran back to my house. We thought of different ways to take down the thieves but nothing seemed right… “Wait!” I said “I know what to do, we can set up traps at the gate that way they can’t get in, and if they do they’ll get there foot caught in the trap.” We spent the next few days figuring out where to put the traps and figuring out how to make our own traps. When we finally got it finished, it had a huge cement block tied to the loose board on the fence, with three bear traps on the ground behind the loose board. When we finished this it was already Thursday night, and the thieves were coming on Friday night. We waited all Friday for it to turn dark, and when it did we started to get worried and started to panic. We started to hear the thieves slowly walk up… we heard the board creak up and… crash! We heard the brick fall, we heard the man step in the trap and scream as loud as he could, and then they quickly ran away. It had worked! The trespassers had run away and the our homes wouldn’t be stole from!

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?