SMS+Group+10

=SMS Group 10=

Introductions
Meet Michael Meet John

Story
THE GLACIER MELTDOWN

In the year 2012, the world was at risk. People were not throwing out their garbage. The//**y**// weren't throwing out their garbage and they didn't recycle. This made the landfill very filled. Also, there were more cars, and more gas came out from the cars. That destroyed the ozone layer, and made more sunlight come in, and it made it hotter. Michael was not really concerned. In fact, he wasn't concerned at all. He was more concerned about his family, because he was poor. “Mother,” Michael said to his mom one day. “What are we having for dinner?” “Well, go milk the cows, then take the milk to the grocery store. They will give you money, and you will take that money and buy some pork to eat,” she replied. Then he thought, I wish I was rich like John. Then I wouldn't always have to do all this work. It's so hard. Then Michael went out to go milk the cows. When he was just about to finish milking the first cow, he heard a piercing scream. Then, silence. He was wondering what it was. But he knew not to pay attention to it. He went back to milking, but he heard it again. This time, it sounded louder and... closer. Michael got a little scared, and he ran quickly to the grocery store, gave them the milk, got the money, and bought the pork. He was running to the door when he saw a T.V. with the news on. He saw a news reporter giving the news of the crashing wave that he had heard earlier. It was picking up cars and people and trees. Everyone was standing in the store, staring at the T.V. in shock. There was never a big tsunami like this before, even when they lived right by the shore. He ran home to tell his mom about it.

When he got home, he told his mom. “Mom!” he shouted. He was speaking very quickly. “Mom, mom, mom! There is a big wave coming right for us! We can't dodge it because we're right in its path!” “Oh my!” his mom replied. “What shall we do now?!” RING RING RING!! It was John, his only rich friend. “Hello? Hello?” John said. “ Mike? Mike?! Do you know that there's a huge crashing wave coming right for you?!” “Yes we know!” Michael replied. “Well, come over to my house, and I'll show you what we can do."

When Michael got to John's house, Michael was amazed. John was dressed in some sort of fancy getup, and he had a book in his hand. It was called "//Rich People's Digest"//. John was liked by many people because he was very graceful in the way he moved. He never commented people on the way they dressed, or the way they spoke. He kind of went with the flow, and didn't talk much. He only freaked out when there were many accidents happening, like the huge wave. There were many fancy things, like chairs, tables, desks and lamps. There was even a trampoline as a couch! “John!!!” his mom said. “Is there a visitor??!!” “Yes, mother!” he replied. “OK, but make sure he doesn't break anything!” “OK,” John said to Michael. “What I am about to show you is very TOP SECRET. You mustn't tell ANYONE! OK?” Michael was too excited to speak. “OK. Now, I will lead you over to this couch. Please, pull the lever on the side of the couch.” Michael pulled it, and what he saw was another amazing sight. The couch folded back and there was a long slide into the floor. Michael couldn't wait to slide. “OK,” John said. “You can slide now. Go first.” Michael slid down, and he had butterflies in his stomach because the slide went in loops. After about 1 minute, they got to the bottom of the slide, which was a secret lab. In the lab, there were all sorts of crazy looking inventions. There were time travelers, automatic egg-shell peelers, infrared glasses, and lots of other things. “Wow,” Michael said in amazement. “This is so cool. Where did you get all this stuff?” “I made it!” John replied. “Now, I-” “Oooh, what's this?” Michael said. He was looking at the SUPERIOR 3000. There was a button on it, and there was also a brain mounted on a metal stalk coming from the machine. There was a little vat of all different colors and bubbles. Michael pressed the button on it, and a long metallic arm came from a little hole in it. It grabbed Michael and John and put them inside the vat. The colors were going inside them, and Michael was feeling ticklish. Oh gosh, what's going on? Michael thought. I really gotta figure this out. But before he could ask John, the colors turned to gray, and the vat opened, and they were hurled out. Michael landed right on his butt, and John landed on his back. “Ow,” they both said. “That really hurt.” “What was that about anyway?” Michael asked John. “I'm not so sure, but I feel like I have to pick something up.” And he picked up two tables, no problem. Michael, on the other hand, had to go to the bathroom. “My bladder is full,” Michael said. He went to the bathroom, and he ran super fast there and back. When he said he had to go again, John said that he had to wait. Michael jumped up and down, but he hovered in the air. He realized he could fly. “Hey,” John said. “So did you here about the melting ice caps?” “Of course,” Michael said. “Let's go fix them, or at least check to see what's wrong.”

Then John thought I can't get there because I can't fly or run really fast. But what he didn't know was he was running really fast already. He was running on the water. “Wait!” he said. “I can run on the water!” Michael heard him, but he didn't really reply in any way. When they got to the north pole, they saw that the ice caps were very small. The ocean was higher than it usually was. They realized that the ice caps were melting. They also noticed that there was a lot of pollution in the water. Michael flew super fast to pick up every single bottle and newspaper he could. John was just running on the water because if he stopped, he'd sink. The ice caps were still melting, and they didn't know what to do. John got really mad, and blood started to pump to his head. Then, a red laser came out of his eyes and hit the ice caps. Then, the ice caps melted even faster! Michael kind of got a little mad too, but because he was tired and John made the ice caps melt even faster. He got weaker, and he sunk to the water. He got really cold and jerked his eyes open. A beam came out of his eyes and hit the ice caps. They stopped melting. He also froze the water so the ocean down in america wouldn't flood. “Well,” Michael said. “That was easy.”

When they got back to america, everyone was cheering for them. They had saw John and Michael do what they did to stop the melting on the news. John went home, and so did Michael. Michael went to his mom to tell her what he did. And the ice caps never melted again. Or did they...

Michael 7A John 7A

PEER REVIEW

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
 * As we read the story, we were confused and really could not find a plot within the story. It was really jumpy. It went from garbage, to milk, to Tsunami's, to secret lairs, to super powers, to melting ice caps. The story was kind of hard to follow.**
 * Thinking back on the story, we could not really find the MAIN problem. We found a lot of smaller problems within the issue that was occuring during the paragraph. We did like how you got the point across about how we need to protect the ozone layer.**
 * The characters really were not described within the story. All we really know is John is rich and Michael is poor. We also know that the characters may have a bad temper because they melted the ice caps with their eyes. They really are not that life like though.**
 * Thinking aobut the story, we would like to know more about the characters, and have one main plot as opposed to twenty different plots. We liked how you explained that the characters could run on water and the rest of their super powers.**
 * We think that the plot needs to be improved because there is a wide variety, and as an author, you are not leading the reader in the direction that we believe that you want to go. You may want to find one main issue to find too.**

PEER REVIEW (group 2)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

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