VV+Dom

media type="custom" key="3659973"Hi my name is Dominic and this is my video.

The Bully Draft 2 There he is Joe the bully he walks with his feat sliding across the ground he stairs you down like he is going to beat you up he has holes in his coat.

I am Mary and this is Bud and that guy standing out side the school is Joe the bully. I have had lots of problems with him he likes to pick on me and bully me.

I haven’t told Bud yet please don’t tell him he will try to stop Joe and that could get messy if you know what I mean. It’s the last day of school this is when Joe gets really mean.

I was standing on the corner Joe walks over and says hey nerd I say back I’m not a nerd well to me you are well to all my other friends I am a very nice kid. Bud is right there he can see Joe picking on me he walks over and says to Joe hey why are you picking on Mary. Why do you care are you a nerd, you go ahead and call me that but why are you calling her that she is not a nerd she is just because she is smarter then you doesn’t mean she is a nerd? Oh well why do you care because she is my friend. Well I’m going to go get the duty Mrs. Barry So she can see what you’re doing. Mrs. Barry Joe is calling Mary mean names Joe stop that you do it again and you will be expelled for next year. Ok I will stop we will meat again Bud and Mary good Bye. For now Thank you Bud for helping me with that you’re welcome. The next year Joe the bully was no where to be seen witch was a bonus for me after what I did to him. Like when I told on him his eyes went blood shot red so I was kind of scared but he was not here so that was the end of Joe the bully. And for Mary she ended up moving to Ohio so I had to make a new best friend witch was hard. Well that is the end of the bully bye for now

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? This stories plot isnt really original and it would be better if you developed it so there were more intresting parts. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? I think that the climax was hard to understand and that it got resolved realllllly fast. Maybe if you worked on it i would understand the climax more and there would be more conflict between Joe and Bud. The tension level didnt go that high so make it more interest.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The caracter have no discription and are just kindo f there. I think that you should give them a face so i can imagine how they look. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? There is barely any ditail which helps me understand the story. If you could discribe the building and the corner i could understand it better than just taking pictures from my past. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? You need to improve the development and detail. You could add more information and make t here be more conflict then, You are a nerd, no im not, who cares, stop being mean, ok... It would be fun to read with more description.