ISKL+Kwokhay

** Introduction:**
Include some or all of the following, as well as a link to your blog: first name, what you like to do in and out of school, favorites (food, sport, hobby, TV show, video game, etc.), places visited, future plans, claim to fame.

Hello, My name is Kwokhay Lee and i like to play soccer, badminton and tennis. My favorite food is lasagna, my favorite movie is Home Alone. I like to play card games, Wii and computer games. I have been to places like Australia, Korea, Hong Kong and in the future i want to make friends with as many people as i can.

**Paste your story here:**
Tree saving

There are 2 students at ISKL Bobbyman and Don, Bobbyman wants to help stop the deforestation in Malaysia so he joins an after school activity called “GO GREEN” but Don parents are the head of the Lohas company, and they want to build a building and so they need a lot of space so they are going to have to cut down forest. “ Hey guys, you want to know something, my parents are the head of Lohas and they are going to cut down a lot of trees to make building.” “What! You can’t do that, it’s wrong you better tell your selfish parents not to start that construction. “Make me” “fine I will, but before Bobbyman attack Don the teacher came.

The next day was a Saturday and so Bobbyman decided to go to the construction site and he saw Dons dad “excuse me sir but your Dons dad right,” “ yes why” “ I was wondering if you could stop the construction because there are lots of wild life in the forest also the trees in the forest provides us with oxygen” “ forget about it kid” “ but sir you have to many of the trees in Malaysia has already been chopped down and more wild life is being killed, please sir.” BOOM suddenly one of the bull dozers fell and knocked all of the other bull dozers down like dominos and then the entire material fell and was torn and broke, “NO!! What just happened? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I guess I have no choice but to cancel the construction.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
Courtney (Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? The story is defently original and I very much like the the main idea of it but the story would be alot better if you expanded on your story more and go into detail. Also the story is abit odd as it goes from on thing to another with no details of how the story came to this go abit more in detail with it. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The characters problems seemed average: a disagreement between freinds. But it was to not really developed and was very start fowrd with no explanations or details. The climax is a bit dull and boring and has no real details as to how it occured. And there is really no resalotion to this story for once the equipment is fixed wont the construction continue. Also why would Don just burst into a room and say his parents are developers its unrealistic. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The dialoge lakes a bit and the characters are under discribed but are well life like the author should just try and use more details and correct their grammer. Also work on transitions. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? This story just needs more detail otherwise it is alright. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The story as a whole needs more details in dialoge and progression.