SO-Alaina+Q.

** Introduction:**
Hi my name is Alaina. I am the middle child. My birthday is September 17. I am very athletic. I love basketball. I am very nice and I am very random. People discribe me as a nice sort of wild person. I also like to be funny but I cant really make good jokes.I like to laugh, and I am always smiling. I have two really good friends, Janette, and Jackie:) Inside jokes are like a part of our friendship. Janette is hilarious, but i hate when she cries because it makes everyone else want to cry with her. Jackie makes me laugh so hard because she too is very random. One of me and Janette's inside jokes are, " Gag me with a fork!" Wow. I feel stupid venting my feelings to a bunch of strangers. Oh well! Haha. And in the middle of the year I transfered to South Middle School. I like watching reality TV. My favorite movies are Elf, Twenty seven dresses, and Twilight. I absolutley love music. My favorite band is probably A day to remember, and my favorite songs that they sing are probably, Plot to bomb panhandle, and You had me at hello. I have played piano for about four or five years but then I became busy and quit. I want to take lessons again soon though because I really like to play piano:)

**Paste your story here:**
Hey my name is Naomi. This story starts out with me and my two best friends in the halls of our middle school. Liana and Fayre. Liana was amazing. She had dark hair down to her back. She had an amazing sense of humor and was really pretty. A lot of guys wanted to go out with her. But she was already dating Jared Hetman. Fayre was drop dead gorgeous. Every girl in school wanted to be her. She had sparkly blue eyes and golden shoulder length hair. She had an amazing boyfriend. His name was Keith Morison. He played the guitar and would make songs for her and everything. It was quite a coincidence that Fayre meant //beautiful,// because she had girls //trying// to be as pretty as her but had failed horribly. Me for instance. I had brown shoulder length hair and hazel eyes, and braces. I was very self conscious. I had no boyfriend, due to rejections and my ugliness, and had wanted to be Fayre since the moment I saw her. She had everything. Beauty, brains, and EVERYONE adored her especially guys. I could never keep up with her…. Another thing was, I could never get a guy that new me and Fayre hung out. They would just use me to get to her. Or they would like me until they met her. Anyway Liana left, so me and Fayre were hanging out until Keith walked up with his awesome friend Ed Garrison who I had been crushing on for ever. “Hey Fayre.” Keith said with a huge smile coming from his face. Ed just smiled and looked down while Keith spoke. “Well me and Ed are going to go to the mall on Friday and were wondering if you guys wanted to come.” Like I wasn’t embarrassed enough because I was shyly standing by the prettiest girl in school, but even worse, my mouth dropped and a quick gasp escaped. My hand shot up to cover my mouth that set that gasp free. Ed and Keith looked over to see my face all embarrassed and red as a beet. “We’ll be there.” Fayre said saving me from my horrible moment. “Thank you so much!” I whispered to Fayre as Ed and Keith walked away. Fayre shot me a smile that a million guys would kill to see. That night was Thursday night and I went home to my 19 year old brother Gabe, my mom, and my cousin and aunt who were over. They lived about ten minutes away from us so we would always hang out. My cousin was fourteen just two years older than me. His name was James. He was one of my best friends. When we were little we would make sand castles out of dirt and would do a bunch of other weird yet fun stuff. “Mom can I go to the mall with my friends tomorrow?” I yelled casually up the stairs. “I guess so, yeah!” My mom had yelled a bit louder than she needed to. But I didn’t think about that. All I could think about was going to the mall with the nicest guy ever. Friday came and I was more exited than ever. I tried my hardest to find the cutest outfit possible to impress Ed with. Make up was not my thing. Maybe some lip balm, and mascara here and there, but if I put blush and eye shadow on my face, it would be totally noticeable, and slightly embarrassing. I showed up to school in my skinny jeans, and a new blue gray tank top that I happened to love. "Hey Naomi." I heard a voice from behind me that gave me butterflies. I turned to see Ed standing behind me with his cute blue eyes looking at my face, which probably had a startled, star struck expression. " Hey." I said anxiously. I couldn't help but smile at the guy who was one of the reasons I dragged myself to school every morning. " So... you coming to the mall?" Ed said,in that voice that had my heart racing. " Wouldn't miss it." I said quite pathetically. The school day finally came to an end, and I was so exited. So Fayre, Keith, Ed, and I all got on the city bus and started talking about the crazy fun things we were gonna do at the mall. " I dare you to go to that mini skirt shop and ask the employee if she had an extra extra small!" Fayre said to Keith, in her beautiful voice. Of course everyone laughed because it was hilarious just the way she said it and everything. I tried not to talk because I didn't trust my mouth. The words, " Ed is so cute!" just might slip out. As we walked into the mall the first thing we saw was the big CD store we all loved. That was our first stop. We ran in there like a bunch of freaks loving our life's. That day couldn't get any better. When we were in the mini skirt store Fayre came up to me with the best news ever. " Naomi! Ed wants to know if you will go out with him!!!" Butterflies over took my stomach as I tried to hold back screaming. " Tell him yes." I said smiling. I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest and run away. That was it. I actually had a boyfriend. The rest of the day was filled with amazing fun. We went in the photo booth and took pictures with each other. I had a whole strip of pictures with just me and Ed. As I walked into my home smiling with memories from the night, I noticed my cousin and aunt were gone. " Where is everyone?" I asked my mom. " They had to go back home." I shrugged my shoulders and walked up to my room to go on the computer. Hours later I heard a knock on my door. " Naomi your cousin..." My mom came in talking calmly but, I could see there was a sadness on her face. " What about him?" My mom took a heavy breath and went on. " Him and your aunt were in a car crash, your aunt is ok, but James is in the hospital, and hes not doing to well." A lump sat in my throat but trying to play it cool was not working. So I got ready and me and my mom drove to the hospital. I saw tubes everywhere and needles in his arms, and casts and all sorts of stuff that gave me shivers. " Hey James!" I said loudly, trying to bring the life to the place. His eyes barely opened and words tried to escape his mouth but nothing came out. My eyes watered and my voice became shaky, but I kept smiling. I don't even know why I did. Just then the doors opened and a nurse came in. " He's um... not doing to... well." The nurse tried to say. I could hear silent sobs coming from behind me. That night was the hardest night ever. James died. My cousin, and one of my best friends. Deaths are hard, and so are funerals. I didn't even want to go to his. I knew it would be to horrible. " Hey!" A loud voice came from behind me the next day at school. It was Liana. I just sort of smiled. " Um are you...ok?" " Um... yeah... Hows Jared?" I said trying to be happy, and trying to change the subject. She started a lecture on how Jared told Abigale Henson that he wanted to hug Liana and loads of other stuff I wasn't listening to. I thought I was going to be strong the whole day but I broke down. By lunch I was crying my eyes out and I wouldn't tell anyone what happened because I knew I was just going to cry harder. Of course I was called to the counselors office to see if I was ok. I just told them what happened and tried to get on with classes. The whole rest of the day Fayre and Liana were there for me and I felt so thankful to have them as friends once again. When I was walking to my locker with wet eyes, I felt a hug come from behind me. Ed too was there for me. I hugged him back with wobbly arms, and more cold tears trickled down my cheeks. Pothetically I never wanted to let go. After he hugegd me he told me he was going to see a movie the next day and invited me

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
hey this is kyli i luv this story it is my favorite ♥ kyli (Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.) Hey Alaina!!!! its lexi i love your story and your intro "Gag me with a Fork!" now that is funny. the story seems like real life haha!!lexi roxz!!!!!!!Lol Nice story Alaina!!!!!! Heidi 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Hi Alaina! Your story totally rox, i luv it!!! Laura 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?