VM+Ashley

**Siblings: 2 yonger brothers :]]** Feel free to upload your podcast or a picture if you like.
 * Hi, my name is Ashley Marie Rodriguez **
 * Grade: 7th**
 * Best Holiday: Halloween **
 * Birth Month: April **
 * Career Goals: Court Reporter **
 * Favorite Band(s): We the Kings The fray Second hand serenade **
 * Favorite Munchies: Chips **
 * Favorite soft drink: Don't have one.! **
 * Favorite Subject: Spanish **
 * Pet Peeve: Fake People **
 * Pets: 1 Dog =]] **

the seance One day at school, Victoria was walking down the hall and as usual the boys were watching her, she noticed Savannah. Savannah never really said anything to her. They would say hi and leave. All the 12th graders were on there way to lunch. Savannah and all her friends would meet up at the same table every day. Victoria would sit with them because they were the only people that would let her seat with them. One day Victoria was talking to people and heard a rumor that Ashley speaks to spirits and she was interested. Victoria ran looking for Ashley. When she found her she asked if they can plan the séance for Thursday at 7:00 pm. Thursday came Victoria begged Savannah and Jessica to come with her to the séance. Savannah gave in and so did Jessica. They were very nervous. They all told their parents that they were going to study at a friends house. The girls all meet up at a block before Ashley’s house. As they got closer Jessica started to back down. “No I don’t want to do this anymore” said Jessica. But Victoria told her she is to late and that she had all ready promised to come. They finally arrive at he house and started the séance. They turned off the lights to started. Everyone’s heart was pounding. Ashley began to talk and she said the spirits are here. The room became silent, So silent that it gave everyone the creeps. Suddenly Victoria got up and tripped on the candle, Everyone was screaming to turn on the lights. Ashley rushed for the light switch but it was so dark that Ashley couldn’t see it. Finally Ashley turned on the lights. There was a weird silence in the room and Savannah said "where is Victoria". Everyone paniced looked around the house just to make sure that Victoria wasn’t playing around. The girls began to scream and Jessica said “Call the police”.! The sheriff came at about 9:00 pm and ask the girls what happened. Ashley was so nervous that she began to cry and tremble. The sheriff started to ask questions. But the room continued to stay silent. Then savannah said “ We don’t understand it, she fell over the candle and disappeared.” “We looked around and didn’t find her and all the doors and windows locked.” The sheriff looked at them like they were crazy. He thought the girls were playing a joke. So he took all the girls home without saying a word. It was time for Savannah to get out but sheriff stopped her “Savannah why would you say something like that”, He said, “All the girls in that room were trembling and you had to go saying that.” Savannah got angry and said “I wasn’t Lying so if you don’t believe me then go ask the other girls and they will tell you the same thing". The sheriffs doubt all begins to fade away. "Savannah i want to believe you but a teenage girl does disappear out of thin air" He explains. Savannah says " Sheriff i understand how crazy this sounds but its the truth".

Days pass and the search for Victoria continues, its been about 3 days now. A call comes in and its a hunter he said he has found a young female no longer alive in the woods that she looks like she has been here for quite a while. The body turned out to be Victoria's. Everyone was relieved to have found her body but the question was what really did happen to Victoria.

Savannah wanted to find some information of her own so she investigated. Savannah went to Luis. Luis Loved Victoria alot. The night she was murdered they were suppose to hang out and go places. But Luis began to cry and say everything. Victoria and Luis were suppose to meet up after the seance and run away together. Luis's mother didn't like Victoria. She believed that Victoria would get in the way of her son's career. So Savannah has in her mind that luis's mother killed Victoria. Luis's mother didn't seem like the type to kill. Savannah was alone one day it was about 12:00 am. Some one knocked on the door her heart was pounding all the way to the door. She finally opened the door and it turned out to be Luis's mom. Savannah acted calm. "Come on in" savannah said. Then Mrs. Smith rushed in quickly. Savannah was really scared almost trembling. Mrs. Smith sat down then out of no where there was a black out. Savannah jumped up and screamed. Mrs. Smith Laughed and said "I told your sister to stay away from my son but she never listens". As savannah quietly walks around touching things. Mrs. Smith whispers "I will get you, now that you know that I killed your sister you have to pay!" All I wanted was for my son to go to college and marry a great women, that sister of yours was not good enough for him." "Thats not your decision, your son love's her and you shouldn't care." Savannah explained for a moment there was a silence in the room. Mrs. Smith finally began talking "I dont care I have worked hard for my money i have been saving up since he was in pampers." BOOM one fire was shot and Savannah screamed. "I dont understand why your doing this please stop!" Savannah yelled the lights turned on and savannah noticed that the gun was pointing directly at her. She ducked and POW another fire shot. Savannah grabed the gun pointed it at Mrs. Smith Savannah reached for the phone and called the sheriff. Savannah waited for sheriff to come, Still standing at gun point sheriff rushed in, he hand cuffed Mrs. Smith took the gun from Savannah and went to the car. Savannah told the sheriff want happened and sheriff hopped in the car and said "my gonna take her to the station for question and your gonna have to wait for the trial."

The End.!! (:

Questions for Peer Reviewers

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

The plot of the story is creative and quit unoriginal.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

There are not enough complications to add the suspense. But there is enough to add a bit of interest. The resolution of the story is okay, but the last problem doesn’t get solved.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

The characters of the story aren’t really life like and there is not much of a description of the characters.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

There are a few grammar mistakes but the story was understandable.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?