Zane

Grade:7 Best Holiday:Christmas Birth Month:July Career Goals:TO BE RICH Favorite Music:Rock Favorite Food:Pizza Favorite Munchies:BBQ chips Favorite soft drink:Black Cherry Soda Favorite Subject:Gym Pet Peeve:Homework Pets:1 dog 2 cats 2 fish Siblings:1 brother
 * Hi, my name is Zane

Feel free to upload your podcast or a picture if you like.   The main character of this story is Bob. Bob is 14 years old and lives in New York. Bob currently goes to Valhalla Middle School. Bob was just a normal student at the school, he got average grades played sports and had 3 friends John, Michael, and James. One boring day when he had came home from school Bob came to find his house empty. This was weird as his parents were usually home by now, but he wasn’t worried and went to the living to finish his homework. After he finished he went to go watch TV for what seemed hours. It was actually forty minutes. Bob started to get worried and searched for his parents every where, he couldn’t even find his pet fish. But then he searched the basement he found strange gooey stuff all over the walls. It was purple with a weird smell. There seemed to be two figures inside the goo but before he could get a good look he heard a crashing sound from upstairs. He rushed upstairs to find gigantic hole in the roof and a UFO in the living room. He was shocked. When he recovered he decided to enter the Alien Aircraft. Inside he found lots of weird machines that were beeping and blinking. He pressed some buttons but then everything started blinking red and he heard some weird alien language, but worst of all smoke was filling the spaceship and Bob saw the shadow of a large figure appear. Bob was terrified and ran for his life, he went to go hide in the basement. When he got there he saw the figures in goo again but this time he knew who they were. Terrified he ran back upstairs and hid in a closet but then the door opened…

THE END

  Questions for Peer Reviewers

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?    1. Great idea for a story. I found it interesting to read and it also had me going to find out what could happen next in the story. I also thought it was very creative. With the idea of it being about aliens and UFO's.  One thing that i think you could add to your story would be that you could add more detail. Like more detail at the point when you go inside the Alien Aircraft.  


 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?  2. Some things and suggestions that you could add to your story. Are to have more suspense, like in the middle it didn't really have me wondering what would happen next. Also I don't think that your story had a climax. Cause your story had a minor problem and went to a major problem and then just stopped. So maybe you could finish your story or resolve the major problem. And one question is that what does this has to with a problem in the world? 

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?  3. Well you didn't tell me much about your character. I think that you should describe him in the story. And you also did not have any dialogue. And there was no discussion cause nobody talked in the story. But I think if you did all of these things your story would be more understandable. Your story would also be more interesting to read. <span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;">

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? <span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: rgb(232, 17, 17);"> 4. I thought that your story was very creative and a lot of imagination. With what happened in the story it helped me understand who and what your character does. It would be better if you told me what happened at the end when the Alien opens the door and then what happens. And not "..."

=<span style="border-collapse: separate; font-size: 13px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 19px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;">5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? = <span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;"> <span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; color: rgb(217, 28, 28);"> you should make it more clear with what happened and more detailed. You also need to describe your character Bob, other wise great story. <span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;">

= By: Alistair Jones ISKL grade 6 =

<span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;"> 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

<span style="border-collapse: separate; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px;"> 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? || Help · About · Blog · Terms · Privacy · [|**Support**] · [|**Upgrade**]Portions not contributed by visitors are Copyright 2009 Tangient LLC.