VV+Brayden

Hi my name is brayden♥♦♣♠

The war BOOM a bomb explodes 50 feet away. All the sergeants looked, while the bullets are viping pasted there heads. They duck in to the pit waiting till they stop fire ring. Anther shot go’s off this time it affects the 1 sergeant it took off this hair it spaded every were, hair was on every sergeants. They had to move to a different spot, as they were sneaking around the Afghanistan’s base, creeping a bomb go’s off it didn’t hurt any one, a Afghanistan person walks up to them and said a helicopter is coming to pick you up so HURRY! They walked over to the helicopter they hop in a get a safe ride home.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

I think the story was creative but it wasn't really interesting to me because I didn't understand some sentences like "Anther (another?) shot go's (goes?) off this time it affects the 1 sergeant it took off this hair it spaded every where, hair was on every sergeants." I think you could add more details to your story and could have described more about the plot.  I think the problem was the war but I don't think there is a climax because I couldn't fine the climax, there wasn't an exciting moment. The ending was a bit boring because it was just "They walked over to the helicopter they hop in a get a safe ride home.". You could have described more about how they went in, how the helicopter looked like and you could have changed the boring words like "walked". I think there were characters but you could have described the characters more, and I didn't understand who "them" was, you could give them name and for this part " A Afghanistan walks up...", you have describe how the person looked like.
 * 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?**
 * 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?**
 * 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?**
 * 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to se****e in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?**