HA-Nathan

I am 12 years old. my favarite food is pizzer. my faverite movie is home inprovement. I was born in may. my faverite sportr is socer. my faverite game is serpeme cammader force alliance. my favarite sepchact is sports. I have a dog and two cats and seven sheep and soon goging to get a carf.

alean king we are going to lumb out of heper space in 3 2 1 we are out of heperspace boring .siad the alean king. you havent infen look at it sir.siad the sevent. dont back anser me howe got higer rank.you sir.howe the captain of this ship.you sir. howe got control of a intaer fleet.you sir. howe fater.you sir aw no.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggg[the alean servent got shot out of the main connon]anyone als think that am fat nosir no PS the alean weaghs 500kg than FIND OUT HOW IN CONTROL OF THIS PLANET?siad the alean kink.go to earth and find out how is in control of this planet do whatever is nesary.roger.I want a full rorport as soon as pasapal said the alean king. . . . . . I now how is in control of this planet it is somone called the prasedent. toleport me down to his lowcashon.aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg what are you.I am the king of all my kind. what do you want your planet.sorry you cant have it.WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!.you and all you kind shall parish.[alean king teleports backto his ship]lunck all fighters get ready for an attack. roger.[ fighters go into space and attack the mother ship]were taking heavy fire auugg!!!!!!!!!!!!!. . . . . . . . what will we do sir. . . . we cant do anything we haved to hide and siveive

the end

I dont really get any of it it is all nonsense

EDITED BY: BF-Jordi 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? It is surely original. Watch out for spelling and grammer mistakes 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? It has to be worked a little more and it doesn't really have any sense. So first work on that.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The characters are not really well explained. So maybe explain how the characters act...or something like that. And to addd a dialogue.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I really think there is any adventure.. make them arrive to the alien planet and fight against them...

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I would try to make an effort and do 3 more paragraphs.