SO-Jordan+B.

**Introduction:**
My name is Jordan. My favorite subject in school is math. My favorite thing to do out of school is IMing my friends over the internet. my favorite food is spagetti, favorite sport is volleyball, favorite hobbies are drawing and listenting to my CDs, favorite TV show is Friends, and my favorite video game is Crash Bandacoot. i have never traveled out of the United States. My future plans when i turn 18 are to move to Washington.

** Perfect One ** By: Jordan Burchett It was one of the most magnificent days that you could imagine. The sun was high in the sky; with only a couple clouds scrambled in the bright blue ocean. You might think that only good things could happen on such a wonderful day, but if you think that then you’re right. That day the //greatest// thing happened to me.

He was a human, yes. But I was an immortal and I had to follow my instincts; hunt the mortal ones. This is my only source of food until I die, and that’s going to be quit a while. His name was Ryan. He went to my school even though I didn’t really go there to learn. I have had plenty of time to learn in my life. He was like an angel with the strong muscular arms, sandy blond hair, fierce but yet beautiful dark brown eyes, nice straight white teeth, and he had the most mouth watering scent that he carried, but he wasn’t a perfect hiker. Yeah he might seem like the perfect person; maybe even a person with no flaws, but I’ve known the truth about him ever since that day. The kind of being everyone should be afraid of, but for some reason I wasn’t. Of course why would I be afraid when I was the same kind of living but yet not really breathing creature that he is. That day I followed him. I didn’t know where to; all I knew was that it was in the forest, and it was very easy because this is how I travel most of the time, and I was walking slow; that is the way my kind hunt though, but he wasn’t easy to keep up with in my hunting mode. So I straightened up, and walked a little faster. But I had to stay out of his sight if he was going to be my meal today. The whole way there I had a feeling he knew I was following him the whole time. But that feeling was just a little voice in my head; a bigger louder voice was saying that I //needed// to follow him and find out why he was out in the middle of the forest. So I followed him into the midst of the forest not knowing where we were; with no cell phone or telling anyone where I was. When he stopped he looked to his right; I did the same but saw nothing interesting. When I looked back to where he was standing he wasn’t there. And then I started to run. I didn’t know why I was or where I was going to go but I just had a feeling that something dreadful would happen to me if I didn’t. But then the fear vanished, and I had not noticed until that moment, that I had stopped. Then I heard something blowing in my ear. Not the wind for there was no wind; a warmth beaming on my back. I had a flash of fear at the moment that I realized that it could only be Ryan. But then the fear eased and I realized that if he wanted to hurt me he would have done it by now. So I relaxed a little bit but didn’t turn around for I could feel his gaze on the back of my head. Then he spoke. “You know its dangerous following people. Especially when you don’t even know the person”, he said in the most beautiful voice. “Especially me”, he said under his breath, but I could hear it because his mouth seemed to be right by my ear. “Yeah I know that. I was just curious; so I followed you. And trust me, it wasn’t easy either.” I hated to lie so I had to tell the truth. That’s when he was right straight in front of me again. I could tell he hated not looking me straight in the eye when he talked to me. And to tell the truth I hated it too. I could tell he wanted to say something to me but just didn’t want to say it straight out. So I said “If there is something you want to say spit it out or, trust me, you //will// regret it. So come on say what you want to say so we can both get on with our lives.” He sounded so scared at first but then it just all came pouring out. “Ok, I came to the forest knowing that you would probably follow me. And I did that because I had to tell you something that I have //never// told anyone before in my entire life.” “Come on. Just get to the point already.” “Well”, he said. Then sighed and continued. “I have had this really big crush on you ever since I came here and that is a very bad thing because you see it against the rules. So I just had to come out and tell you.” At that moment it felt like I had a huge lump in my throat. I wanted to say something but I couldn’t. And then the strangest thing popped into my mind. Maybe, just maybe he wasn’t mortal. Maybe he was an //immortal//. And that is why he can’t like me. He thinks I am a mortal, and liking mortals or worse loving them is completely against the rules. “What do you mean it’s against the rules?” I was actually curious now so I kept asking questions. “Aren’t you a mortal? How did you know I was behind you? And who are you to even think I am mortal?” “Umm”, he said a little nervously. “Ok, um. It’s against the rules because I am not a human, and it’s against the rules to like a human. I knew you were behind me because first of all I sensed that you were behind me, and second of all I sort of knew you were going to follow me.”, he said, all just in one breath. “And are you not human? Because you act like you are most of the time.” “No”, I said, my voice was soft and ringed in my ears like a wind chime. “No, I am not a human at all. I am and always will be now until I get stakes or torn apart by another of immortal, a vampire.” After I said that he calmed and then nodded. “And if you are not mortal then you must be immortal. So what kind of immortal are you?” I could tell that one of my mood swings were acting up by the way my voice was turning from sort and sweet to loud and angry sounding. I didn’t care if he was immortal or not I was going to smack that smile right of his face if he didn’t stop right at that moment. Because apparently he thought that my mood swing was a funny thing. And then he said the weirdest thing I have ever heard in my life. “We’re going to get along just fine.” But he didn’t get rid of his smile. I was going to tell him to //get that smile of your face or I’ll take it off for you//, but I changed my mind because I was starting to like that smile. And then I said, with my mood swing finished, and my voice soft and sweet again, “Me to.” I hadn’t noticed until now that we were slowly walking closer to each other until we were only less than a foot away, and he was holding out his arms. I opened my arms in the same way and then we were in each others arms; holding one another. That’s when I new for sure that we were going to get along just fine for as long as we lived. And that Ryan was the perfect one, and always would be. And that’s when he answered my very last question. “I am a vampire.” “That sounds perfect to me.” And then I hugged him even tighter. To be continued…

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?