Richard

**Siblings: none, though wish i did had at least a brother** || **-
 * **Hi, my name is Richard J.Cheng **
 * Grade: 8th**
 * Best Holiday: Very rare for me to celebrate a holiday, most likely i don't really and i just let them past by until the sun burns out **
 * Birth Month: May **
 * Career Goals: Not sure **
 * Favorite Band(s): The Used, Escape the Fate, Mindless Self Indullgence **
 * Favorite Food: Chinese, but most likely i like to try many varieties of food from different cultures**
 * Favorite Munchies: Not sure **
 * Favorite soft drink: Any soda, though not much of a sweet-tooth kind of person**
 * Favorite Subject: Math, Art, Social Studies, Language Arts **
 * Pet Peeve: I hate people who lack tolerance ,** **not only that, but anything that many people would hate and anything annoying**
 * Pets: 4 cats, 5 birds **
 * Signature:**

Characters:

Main character Soul Reaper: Nightmare

Nightmare is a person who is quite different from everyone else. His parents disappeared as he can remembered when he was born. At the age of seven alone in his world, he was found and thrown into a dungeon and raised by this dragon. 3 years later, terrifying reapers on black horses ruled over the dungeon and captured Nightmare and the dragon. Now he seeks revenge to find out the lost of his parents.

Dragon: Slythur Slythur is a very fierce dragon of fire, ice, earth, water, rock, stone, and lighting with very hard metallic scales, razor sharp claws and teeth. His tail was butchered and soon amputated with an arrowhead and a clamping claw around it. He once was in a war called DW (Dragon War), and was given dragon armor. His legs are armored with steel gloves with diamond-like claws and his body is armored with extra plating of steel. His helmet is made of pure gold. He is the very last of his kind.

Reapers: Grim and Death and others of the Skull Tribe: Grim is the godfather of Nightmare and also the leader of The Skull Tribe. Death is the son of Grim and also a partner/friend of Nightmare. Death and Nightmare have been friends as brothers ever since and have been on many missions together with the Skull Tribe. The Skull Tribe is one of the seven tribes. The six others tribes are the Dead, the Trouble, the Spirit, the Metal, the Shadow, and last the Fossil. Most of all, the Skull is probably the darkest, the most evil tribe out of all.

The Dead: The Dead Tribe consists of every living dead that can be found in the graves of every tombstone. They are the Zombies, Vampire Bats, and foul creatures of the G-Virus. They are unarmed, but are very deadly with their bites and claws. The G-Virus is the leader of the Tribe. It is also the fastest. The Zombies are slow minions created by the G-Virus. Vampire Bats are pets of the G-Virus which can carry people on it’s back and fly around on patrol to protect everyone in the Dead Tribe.

The Trouble: One of the most dirtiest tribe ever. It can do many bad things that you can name to destroy their enemies. They are known as the Trouble-Makers.

The Spirits: Consists of ghosts and many others of the Spirit. They are allies with the Dead, the Dark, the Skull, and the Shadows. They can scare the living life out of everyone and take control of your spirit or bring your spirit down to Hell and torture you for eternity, leaving you with nightmares and mental problems.

The Metals: They are made of steel, and the hardest metals of all. They hold every weapon made out of metal and have a magnetic force-field around them that works as a absorbing shield. They are Gundams, Robots, and the Metallics.

The Shadows: They are the Nobodies and Heartless. They are born when someone dies. They have no self-body but take your shadow as a being. They are invisible in the air and you won’t know where are they until they use the "Shadow Possesion Jutsu" on you. They can split and create a whole army of clones. Their leaders are Sasuke, Orochimaru, Itachi Uchiha, and Shikamaru.

The Fossils: The most oldest tribe and most ancient of all. They have been around since the Precambrian Epoch. They have hard shells and have a body-like structure of Trilobites and Eurypterids. They are the Dinos, Trilobites, Eurypterids, and the Sand. Armed with Brachiopod-like shield, weapons made out of skeleton bones, and poisonous stingers can make the Trilobites and the Eurypterids very vicious. Dinos have skeleton ribs and bones sticking out of every direction. The leader of the Dinos is Kimimaro. The Sand are sand-like creatures that use sand as their weapon and shield and with their powerful move, the “Sand Coffin”, they can crush the bones and organs of any living thing. Their leader is Gaara of the sand.

Gills Rider: (Unknown lost and dead Hero) A legendary hero with insect-like body structures who had lived a long time ago in the ancient times.

The Shinobi(s): High classed people of a tribe.

Glatorians: Part of the Bionicle tribe consisting of people named Skrall, Vorox, etc. They are the enemy.

LOST PARENTS(The Story)

Nightmare still remembers the past memories of his life. He remembers the day his parents disappeared the moment he was born just with the sound of the wind that blew through his very window of his room. He’s now ready to start on his own life with the Skull Tribe as a mission to find his lost parents. The next morning, Death sits beside the bed waiting for Nightmare to wake up.

“AHHHHHHH!”, as Nightmare woke up with a shock.

“Still with those nightmares of your parents, huh?”, said Death as if he was looking as if he was concerned.

“Hey! That’s how I got my name, bro.”

“Don’t seem very surprised with that…..”, said Death as he woke up Slythur to feed him a raccoon.

“This dream……………it’s been haunting me and my head aches every time I see it.” says Nightmare. “I been thinking about it, I’m going to find them starting today.”

“WHAT! YOU CAN’T GO ALONE. ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!?!?” said Death screaming and frightened Slythur by accident causing him to growl and shatter all the windows.

“Calm down, Slythur.” as Nightmare watched Slythur eat his raccoon. “I’m not going alone…….you’re coming with me and so is Slythur here.”

“Shouldn’t we ask Grim about this?” says Death looking worried.

“Don’t give me that worried face, put yourself together. They’re my parents and there’s nothing stopping me.” Says Nightmare.

“Fine.” says Death. "If I can’t stop you with lecturing you, then I’ll stop you with force." Before Death can paralyze Nightmare with the "Death Stroke", Nightmare put his hand out and started streaming nightmares into his head with his power.

“I admitted the first time, there’s nothing stopping me……and I think I’ll need the other three tribes to help me too.” said Nightmare, still torturing Death.

“You going to get the Shadow……ARGH…….Dead, and……….AHHHHH…… the Spirit to help you too? LET GO OF ME NOW!!!!!!!!" Nightmare let goes of his grip on Death.

“Maybe the Trouble and the Fossil Tribe too.” Says Nightmare as he continues to think about his plan. “Who knows, we could be countering with enemies along our journey….”

“WE!? OUR!? NO, THIS IS YOUR PLAN! I’M NOT GETTING IN WITH THIS!” says Death.

“You want to say that again?” again Nightmare rushed nightmares into Death’s head.

“Ok, I guess you won’t give in then……but promise me this, talk to my father Grim. We start tomorrow if he accepts this.” says Death still with pain.

“I’ll tell him, but I must start today.” Nightmare let’s go of his grip after.

Later in the afternoon, during a feast festival, Death, Nightmare, and Slythur found themselves a table. There at the table, sticks of bones, spirit soul balls, and glasses of blood wine were served. As for Slythur, he had cow, horse, elephant, and giraffe, meat on his plate. “Nightmare, should we tell him about it now?” says Death impatiently.

“After his speech.” Nightmare says lowering his tone and putting his head down into his plate.

“You know this could lead us into serious trouble and to a war battle with the enemy, right?” says Death. Nightmare gives him a dirty look and Death just looks away. "Ok, sorry..."

“Besides, Death, you and me been working on the same team together and probably asking Grim would be a no-brainer……” says Nightmare casually.

“Yeah, but……..”-Nightmare cuts off his line and says “It’ll be fine.” As Grim comes to the stand, everyone fell silent waiting for his speech.

“Welcome to all, to this lovely feast……..Now you all know that we have a big day ahead of us and we’ll be continuing on our previous mission which we have not yet finished. On further conclusions, the details of this mission is very simple. The enemy has stolen one of our precious item that we have kept secret and has broken into our tribe and ran off with it. All are to retrieve it back and kindly return it back to me. On the other hand…………..” there was a long pause, “Chow down.”

Nightmare slowly rises from his seat and just as he did, Grim made an announcement. “You have something to proclaim, a prohibition to this mission or feast?”

“Well…., um"-Grim cuts him off and says, “Yes, what is it?”

“Let me finish. I have a mission, but I’m afraid it may interrupt what’s around us.” says Nightmare. There was chattering around the room. Death rose after. “It’s about my parents…..” the chattering grew louder.

“Quiet down, quiet down……..” says Grim.

“Please dad, Nightmare has been having terrible dreams about his parents and-Grim says, “I see, I understand. I shall let you two go on with this and the rest of the tribe shall go on with the primary mission. If this is something Nightmare has to do, then he shall. You can take Slythur along as you may.”

“Yes, but I have a proclamation. I need five other tribes along with my ongoing mission and at least six Shinobies from the Chunin Exam.” says Nightmare.

“Then you shall,” said Grim kindly.

The following evening, Nightmare sat in his bed while Death slept. Nightmare held onto the only thing precious to him that was left by his parents, a snow globe. He shook it and watched the snowflakes drop to the bottom.

“Dad……” said Nightmare slowly. As he looked at the globe, he wept tears and let them stream down his face without wiping them. Later that night, he fell asleep with his right hand hanging down on the side of the bed and he dropped the globe and it rolled away.

The next day Nightmare woke up and he found the globe near a box with a letter. He picked up the globe and stared at the box for a while.

“What’s this?” Nightmare said frowning at the box. He picked up the box and there on the label of it said:

To: Nightmare

From: Dad

Nightmare untied the string on the box and took the letter and ripped it open. He read the letter slowly:

Dear Son,

I have left this box for you. I have given this box as my last hope to possibly protect you. You may the last of our kind and we can’t let you die on us. This world needs a hero and you must make people smile. In this box are the things that you have long kept when young. Not only that, but in this box has the armor and weapons I once kept and also my father’s as well are in that box. I am lending to you now…

Yours Truly, Father

“My father’s alive!” cheerfully Nightmare said. “ Oh my god.”

As what you have just read was only a flashback of Nightmare’s life. Now he’s at the age of where he has grown up as 20 years old. He as known as the “Legacy of the angel of Hell”. He has this power he kept when he was born, but some like his kind may not know they have it until it’s too late. He has already taken this form. It happened one day when he met the Glatorians and there he found his parents standing by them. For now, Nightmare has realized his Parents has chosen their sides. Unfortunately, his friend Death was there in front of the Glatorians lying there as if he was dead.

“No!!!!!!!!!!!! Death!!!!!!!!!” Nightmare screamed.

“Nightmare…..please forgive me…….I…I…….I……………………..tried………” said Death softly. Death’s right side of his face was banged up and only his left S****haringan eye showed. This eye has many different abilities and take the power and form of its enemy.

“Nightmare…..take my other eye…………as granted………and my curse mark…….” Said Death softly. Nightmare reached out and put his hand over the curse mark on Death’s neck and he reached for the eye with his other hand grabbing it out. Nightmare pulled out his left eye and placed in the Sharingan. He ripped off a cloth off his shirt and put it over the eye as a headband to prevent the bleeding.

“I’m sorry Death, that I bailed out on you…..” said Nightmare hiccuping with tears running down his face. “Why did you save me? I didn’t ask you to!!!”

“I don’t know, my body just moved, but Nightmare……..don’t you die on me. Don’t worry, but promise……..me this…………be strong….please, be strong.” As Death said while he died off.

“Is this the first time you seen a friend die in battle?” said one of the Glatorians. “This is what it means to be a warrior, you must-” interruptedly Nightmare said “SHUT UP!!!”

Nightmare rose slowly and a cloud of enormous chakra glowed over him.

“Interesting amount of chakra, I see…” said Vorox.

“You will pay for this!! I’m not going to let you guiltily walk away with it!!!!” screamed Nightmare.

As Nightmare rose, he slowly took the form of the “Legacy Angel of Hell.” His first form was the “Butterfly.” A form where his tremendous strength grows to a zillion times stronger than he originally is.

“With my left hand filled with all the chakra I have, I’ll obliterate you! This cost me my life!” screamed Nightmare. Hecharged in and the first person he struck out was Vorox. Vorox slammed down 200m down into the ground. Unfortunately, the curse mark Nightmare just took grew over him.he took his second stage as “Uchiha.” The form of a monster similar to Sasuke’s form.

“Now Die!!!!” said Nightmare. “Chidori!” a powerful blast of electricity coming from the hand. Nightmare blasted out Skrall. The third stage took over Nightmare from the curse mark combining with his power. This form was the legendary hero, “Gills Rider.”

“No, this is bad!.” said Nightmare’s father.

It was long ago when the 4th Hokage ruled the tribes. He was the person with great dignity, high level understandings of life, happiness, adversity, intensity, valor, courage, and much, much more. It was the sum total of all he was. It was that day that he had to choose between death or shame and failure. He chose death, but most of all, he was a hero to all the people amongst the village. He had no decision, but to use what he had against the evils standing before him. As he fought them about, he failed to succeed his fulfilling destiny of bringing happiness back to the village and making everyone smile once again. Though, before he died, he sealed the evils into a human body and there it stays in that chosen one.

That human is still to this day and now is amongst the village. It was just years after the Hokage’s funeral when a new Hokage was to rule once again. It was there that the 5th Hokage stood on his very own building. Suddenly, someone jumped on that building as if he was trying to run away from someone else.

“Ha! Ha! Come and catch me while you can, you little runt!” yelled Nightmare happily while he was teasingly spanking his bottom in front of the Shinobi’s face.

This was during the time was Nightmare was just 13 years old, still learning the ways of being a warrior. Though, during that time he could be quite stupid sometimes. He left the building while the Shinobi chased him.

“It has been at least 50 years since the 4th Hokage had died and I rule this village, though much afar, I’m still worried for Nightmare for he still contains a very strong and evil power in him. Yet, my only purpose to be in a Hokage’s position was to protect all the people and the village I love and make all smile.” said the 5th Hokage. “The power that one holds, Nightmare, has the power of the Gills Rider.”

“I never thought I had this power…” said Nightmare. “I will never forgive for what you have done to me….”

Nightmare rushed in and killed a whole massacre of men, including his parents. After he ran out of energy and started panting.

“Father? Mother? …………… NO!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Nightmare.

“Forgive me, my wife but I don’t think we can ever live happily again…. I wish I can go to where you are at…I wish….” Said Nightmare’s father.

“Maybe you will……maybe you will….” said Nightmare while he was still crying.**


 * Comments:**

Questions for Peer Reviewers

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?