BF-Ona

__Water airplaine__ **Hi my name is sara Lily.**
**"Honey I dont want you to leave me alone in our honey moon!"said ,John (saras¨****husband)**
 * "Oh, it will only be one day!"said, sara**
 * "Yeah but in Hawaii what can I do without you!"ansewered john**
 * "Oh shut up, and help me make my bag."**
 * It was 4:00 and my uncle Tony was waiting for me in Maui .The water airplane was waitinfg for me outside.**
 * "Bye,bye honey be carefull!"Bye !" love you honey."**
 * I was siting in a water plain in hawaii. I was infront, with the pilot in the back there was other people. I was listening to music in my ipod when suddenly i heard a lightning I got scared but nothing happened so i continued listining to my ipod til i fell asleep. I woke up because I felt deasi the airplane was moving i opened my eyes i so i was ina middle of a storm. The pilot was sueting because he was nervous so I knew something would happen, and yeah my prediction was right as always booooom!!!!!!!!We crashed into and island in the middle of nowhere I turned around to see if the people were okay."Oh my gosh they were al dead!"I didn´t know what to do!" SO i turned bachk to tell the pilot and his head was crached into front window.

Sara LiLy dissapeard in 1992 never found.**

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Your plot wasnt very original.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Your character was confusing. but i could kinda of see and feeel what your character was going threw.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The charaters werent very life like. how would they all just die? and how would you not die?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? i guess you could experience what they were going threw, but you could have made it better.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The entire story need work. It leaves you wondering. you really need to add more deatail. But should really shouldnt have spent to such time talking, and more deatails. but if you fixed those and wrote more, then you would have a good story.