SO-Cole+G.

**Introduction:**
 My name is Cole Gonyea and I am 12 years old. My birthday is June 28th. My family consists of 4 people, my mom; Amy, my dad; Eric, my sister; Sydney, and me! I play 3 sports football, baseball, and hockey my favorite of these 3 has to be baseball because that is my dad ultimate sport and he really wants me to do good in it, and I also really enjoy it. My hockey team name is the Mustangs, I really enjoy hockey because a whole bunch of my friends play hockey, and that is how I have made most of my friends. I have a bunch of hobbies some consists of sports, hanging out with friends, biking, rollerblading, HUNTING, and a lot more. My favorite food is pizza any kind I will have, (but not the special stuff). My favorite color has to be red or blue. I love hanging out with my friends and family when I get the chance to; I take good control of it. When I get older I would love to become a professional baseball pitcher. If not I would love to become a geologist. I am a really active person I have a lot of friends who love to play sports also, so that really helps me have fun with them! That's all about me and there is much much more to come. Please read my story that I made in english class with Mrs. Hawkenson and leave some comments so that I can make my story the best it can be.

 **By: Cole Gonyea** Today is one of my most competitive hockey tournaments of the year. This is the tournament that all of the best teams will come to play each other to see who is the greatest hockey team in the whole state of Texas. Right now I am exceedingly edgy to get to the ice rink. I keep pacing around my room not knowing what to do or what to say. “Jozua, time to get weaddy,” my aggravating three year old brother Nathan says. My brother also plays hockey but as you could probably tell he isn’t that good, although my brother can be very annoying, he is still my little brother that always loves to come and watch my sports games, that's what I love about him. I also enjoy watching his sports games. My brother and I don’t get along usually. //We wrestle, arguments, and we in no way can sit next to each other in the car or at the dinner table. We even have a piece of duct tape dividing our room in half so we can’t brawl.// Our relationship can get out of hand ocassionaly. As soon as I get downstairs with my iPod headphones in my ears roaring with pump-up music, I see my mom trying to yell to me to put the music down I just ignored her and left it at that. “JOSH!” My mom screamed so I could hear what she was saying. Even though I heard her I just ignored her got my gear and went to the car. My family followed behind about five minutes later. //I was so nervous.// I was silent the whole way to the rink. The ice arena is about an hour away and I cannot wait! When I saw that I was at the rink I took out my headphones //still roaring// and got my hockey gear and walked into the rink thinking that //we will be strong enough to win this. //Me I am one of the smallest players on my team (which doesn’t help much.) When I saw some of my teammates I asked what locker room we were in and went to it. As my team was getting ready talking only about hockey I was sitting there concentrating on how my team and I would do. A few minutes later my coach came in for a brief second. “ARE YOU GUYS READY?!?” My coach screamed to pump us up. “YEAH!” We all yelled simultaneously. Then my coach left and we all went silent. No one was talking, no one was moving, and everyone was looking around at our team. I liked that //that we were all focused on just this first game.// Then a couple minutes later we were on the ice warming up. As the buzzer rang and my whole team huddled around the net and our captain was pumping us up. “Tonight, boys we are the greatest hockey team in this state. YOU ALL GOT THAT?” “YEAH!” We all screamed at the same time. Our coach put the starting line out and the refs started the game by dropping the puck. All the time in the world just seemed to go in slow motion. The puck hit the ice and the game started. After the first period the score was 0-0. We had a lot of scoring chances but we obviously we didn’t score. Then the start of the second period was under way and right off the opening face-off they scored. Making it 1-0. At the end of the second it was 1-1, we had scored right after they did. After the intermission we were on the ice again and I was one of the players on the starting line. Right off the face-off we had a great scoring chance but we didn’t hit the net. The final score of the game was 5-3 and we had won! Now tomorrow we will play. I don’t know what team //but I am just glad that we won! //
 * The perfect… **

Tomorrow...

Now we are in the locker room concentrating on this game (the championship game). Our coach called us to the ice and we were warming up. Me I actually did really well in the warm-ups. We did the same routine to get pumped up that we did in the previous game. As soon as the refs blew the whistle to start the game we all got into the huddle. “Tonight, boys, we are going to go out there and win this game while having fun, all of you boys got that?” "YEAH!" “So lets go out there and take it! On three take it! 1... 2... 3...!” “Take it!” My line was the first line to be out there. The puck dropped and once again it felt like an hour. Finally it hit the ice and the game had started. We were the first to get possession of the puck. Right off the face-off are right-wing scored and it became a 1-0 game. But, at the end of the first we were losing 2-1. The second wasn’t much. No one had scored, and no one had gotten a good scoring chance. The third was different. They were the first to score. Then about five minutes later we had answered back. In the last minute of the game we were tied. With 15 seconds left, I had gotten the puck on one else ahead of me just me and the goalie. This was the moment I have been dreaming about my whole life. I had tried a deek on the goalie and he went down I shot the puck at the top of the net. But, it had hit the crossbar and the buzzer rang, and it was over. As my team went to down and started to cry. I myself went down sobbing also. I wish I had a spell where I could’ve froze time. I was the first one to go get my ribbon but, as soon as I got it I went right to the locker room and got to my locker and started crying... As, my family got home and directly went to my room. I went on my bed and started to weep. My mom had came into the room to try to calm me down but, it had no affect. As, I went to bed that night I had a hard time sleeping. I finally fell asleep at 1:54 and woke up again at 4:21. as soon as I fell asleep again I went to sleep for good and woke up at 7:00 on the dot that next morning. I felt like a strong wind could knock me right back to sleep. As, I arrived at my school that morning all of my friends had congratulated me. Well, I guess //if you try to score you may not succeed but, when you fail it could be just perfect. //

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?