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Introductions
Meet Michael Meet Brendan

Story
The Boy on the Island

One upon a time there was a boy named Owen stranded on an island. He was on a ship and there was a storm and the ship got wrecked. He was the only person out of the whole crew to survive. He was drifting on a piece of wood for days and eventually he was washed up on a shore. He has been there for a very long time and he forgot that there were many other places in the world. One day while he was looking for food, a man was washed up on shore. While taking the man to his hut he started thinking that if this person washed up on shore and he was not from here**,** he was from a different place. He found out again, that there are other places other than his island. The boy took the man into his hut and then checked his pulse, the man was still alive. He left the man in his hut while he was going to go get food for them. The boy got back to his hut and found out that the man was gone. The boy went looking for the man but did not find him. The boy was looking for him for days, but he could not find him. While the boy was looking for him he had a thought to build a raft out of loose wood and leaves from the island. After he thought of the raft he stopped looking for the man. While he was looking for wood and leaves he found a hut, but it was not his. He went inside to see what was in the hut. He started looking around the hut and he found the man, but he was dead. The man died of starvation. The boy took apart the hut and used **it** to build his raft. He gave the man a proper burial, after the burial he went to go look for wood, leaves, and food. When he was on shore trying to build his raft, two wooden doors washed up ashore from the boat. He thought that it would make a good tent to attach to the raft. He gathered more leaves and carefully tore them apart for string and use the left over leaves for sails. Days later he finished his raft and valiantly made a last attempt at getting back, by going into the ocean. The boy sailed for many day's and night's. One day when he was sailing there was a big storm, and it nearly destroyed the whole raft. The only thing that was left were the two doors. He swam to the doors and drifted with them for hours knowing that hours were all he had left. Many hours after he found a civilization, he was overcome with joy despite the fact that he didn't have much time left, unless he received medical attention. He ended up on a very popular beach in Miami, he was asleep and half-dead. The whole beach stopped what they were doing and watched as he came closer to the shore. An ambulance was there right away and without any hesitation the boy was brought to the hospital. The boy was gone for four years, six months, ten days, and fourteen hours. The boy had a family that he had left behind and no one had thought he was alive. The boy was legally dead and he was forgotten. He was no longer a boy, he was eighteen years old and he was a man. His life would never be the same again, he found his family and he was the most popular news story of the year. His family had moved from Knoxville, Tennessee to Orlando, Florida. His parents had already had two more kids and his parents were already working double shifts at their jobs, and the boy's dog had died while he was gone. His parents could not support him and he had to move out. The boy could not go to college nor could he get a job because he had an eighth grade education. The boy had no license, no social security, and no one. The boy had realized that as he got older so did the world that he had left. The boy realized that there was nothing for him in the new world and everything that he had know or loved has either moved on or died. The boy took a boat into the ocean with hopes that it would bring him back to the island to what he had known and to what he had loved. He hoped that God would take him there, but the boy ended up in Amsterdam. It was just then that the boy realized that he had to move on, and start a new life in Amsterdam and other places and countries in Europe. The boy did, and thats the story about the boy and the island.

Michael Brendan We enjoyed your story. Our teacher converted the text to speech and we could listen to the story being read. This is a long story and follows a clear sequence. We noticed some repetition (hours) that you might want to change. At the end when you say he is a man, you are still calling him a boy. Could you give your character a name?

~South Middle School

PEER REVIEW

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I think the plot is original. I think you should give the boy a name because you say "the boy" a lot.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? You could make the suspense and tension more interesting by adding more action.The resolution isn't that satisfying because we don't know what really happend to the boy after he reached Amsterdam.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I think you should add personaltity to him because we don't know about the boy. You can add more characters into the story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I think you should add more description to the story so we can picture the island that the boy is on. Like for example: he could hear the rush of the waves outside his hut.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? You need improvement in the description of the boy and island and giving the boy a name.

PEER REVIEW (group 2)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?