HA-Che

Grade: 6 Best holiday: ? Birth Month: July. Career Goals: I want to be a vet and i really want to be RICH! RICH! RICH! Favourite Band: The stiff dylans ? Favourite Lollies: Chocolate, Gummy Lollies, Starburst, Allens Snakes and heaps, heaps more! Favourite Food: Pasta Meals. Favourite Snack: Chocolate stuff and Chips. Favourite Drink: Fruit Juice. Favourite Subject: P.E Favourite movie: Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging.(awesome movie!) Hobbie: P.E Favourite Sport: High Jump, Running, Long Jump. Pet Peeve: People that keep on following me and talking to me when i don't even like them.
 * Hi my name is Che you pronounce it shay, weird i know it's french. :$

Sofía, from BFIS: Is your name a diminutive of some name?

Plan for my story __Orientation__:Francis the mouse, Morty the mouse, Mousine is pronounced moo-see-nee,The mayor, A big elephant, Bill and Fred.

__Problem__: "mousine the great" (francis' favourite t.v show) was canceled so he goes out to find out what happened.

__Complication__:The mayor finds out somehow that Francis is gone so he hires Bill and Fred to track Francis down to make sure that he doesn't come back, that way no-one will think that a mouse can be extrodinary. When Francis finds Mousine he was surprised that Mousine was only a jerk, he only thinks about himself. For some reason francis stays at the village.

__Resolution__: the next day an elephant came to the village, whilst everyone else was scared and running away, francis trys to find Mousine to scare the elephant away. francis can't find him so he gets every one to calm down and work together to scare the elephant away.

__Conclusion__: Francis went back to his old home and at first morty refuses to talk to francis, when francis explains all his been through morty couldn't be mad at him. Mousine and the mayor were know longer to be found neither were bill and fred.** The moral of the story is that if you believe yourself you can achieve anything.

FRANCIS
"//Mousine, HELP ME! HELP ME! Mousine!"// Francis mimiced the sound of his favourite t.v show //"Mousine the great!" "I shall save you miss madam!"// The sound of Mousine's voice made francis' eyes widen with curiosity. "//"To be continued, on the next episode of Mousine the great! will mousine get there in time to save miss madam? and stop ratouie before he blows up the village, wait till next week on the brand new episode of Mousine the great! "oh! i just hate when they do that they get to the most exciting part and then ruin it with THAT!" Francis said frustrated.

"oh, will you get of the couch and help with the dishes." morty said half yawning. but half-way through francis was already out the door. "francis! francis! where are you?" "finally some fresh air" francis said releaved. up the track and over the hills he went into the forest and past the bridge suddenly francis stopped, infront of him was a giant brick wall about 6 feet high (in human measurements). francis tryed to climb up the wall but he kept on slipping, it was like someone tipped a giant bucket of slippery gooey stuff on it. francis was facinated by the wall and curious of what was on the other side, so every day francis traveled that long distance to the wall bringing with different things to climb the wall with. for example one day he brang plastic cups that stuck to the wall. francis eventually gave up about trying to climb the wall so he was going to try and drill through the wall with a giant human sized drill.

francis studied how strong the wall was by hitting it with several things like hammers, mullets, wooden swords,

ít's not done but it will be soon! maybe you could give some tips if you don't like it.//

Sofía, from BFIS: the story is good but until you're not entirely done i can't correct your story but it still good anyways. Also,, careful with spelling and grammar.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?