ISKL+Sean

Introduction

Introduction on story... Characters: Will, age 21, and Sir Hektor Setting: 700 B.C.E In Zamerkand, a city in Europe(southern) Type: Fantasy Will, a farmers son, has reached his majority and is now going to the city of Zamerkand to find a job. H is family can hardly support themselves and pay the taxes so Will, who lives in the outskirts of Zamerkand, travels to the city. Will's belongings are a horse, a short sword that his father gave him for the dangerous journey, (sword was given to his father when he served the army) spare clothes and a traveling staff in the city. Will, who has some skills in sword craft, as his dad used to be a soldier applies to be a mercenary of a nobles house, and the leader of the militia is Sir Hektor, Sir Hektor soon discovers that Will is the son of Gerad, his saviour, **Will, having become Gerad's friend, decides to help Gerad on a quest to slay a dragon nicknamed "The red eyed bunny" because instead of scales it had lots of fur and red eyes, it was also nicked name the bunny because whenever it defeated enemies it had to talk and make friends with them before turning them crazy with his red eyes, and as they find and enter the tunnel of the dragon, they discover many secrets not many common citizens get to see....**

"Will Dare! Get back here and feed the chickens!!" His Mom said. Will groaned. //Again....// Will thought. //I have already washed the horses, fed the horses and pigs, washed the wagon!// "Yes mother.." Will mumbled with little enthusiasm. He hopped off the fence he was sitting on and trudged to the chicken coop to feed them. Today was a special day, and Will didn't want to spoil it, even though he knew that his mother was just anxious and worried for him. Will's birthday was today, and that also meant that he could apply for a job as today he would be legal to work. When it was almost noon, Will and his family took a brief lunch and then Will set off to travel to the city of Zamerkand. At the gate, he slapped his dad on the back, shuffled forward to hug his mom, and mumbled his farewells in embarrassment. When Will was a good distance away from his house he stopped abruptly, turned to look once more at his farm house and sighed. He did not look back again.

Zamerkand was a breathtaking sight. The city was indeed far away and it took Will two or so hours to reach there. The city Zamerkand was like a huge giant surveying its landscape, and the tallest tower stood gleaming proudly a hundred meters above, it was also a fortified city and Will could see the massive gates and guarded stone walls that seem to stretch and go as far as ones eyes could see. Will stood motionless for awhile until a merchant riding a cart yelled "Oi! Haven't seen the city before? Just don't stand there, move on!" Broken from the trance, Will briskly skipped aside to allow the bad tempered merchant to pass and he could barely hear him mumble "Farm boys these days... All they know how to do is gape at the city... Wasting my time, Blocking the road too... How am I going to sell my...." As Will slowly walked into the city, he stopped to admire the guards at the gate who had gleaming steel plate armor, swords, shields, plate legs, helms that was all gold trimmed. There were just so many exciting things in the city, he saw nobles in carriages, escorted with knights, merchants trying to sell all kinds of items, beggars with very ragged and tattered clothes though their faces were clean, as if they had taken a bath not while ago, last, but not least, Will saw the palace.

The palace almost looked like a miniature version of the city itself. It stood tall and proud, as if it was a god surveying his land, the main gate of the palace was guarded and there was some commotion beside the gate. Walking towards the gate, Will could see on a notice paper that Sir Hektor, the commander head chief of the local light infantry militia, general of the heavy Calvary units, royal leader of the noble knights, personal guardsman and bodyguard of the prince, the king's personal war tactical adviser, and captain of the city's heavy infantry unit, was looking to recruit fresh troops and mercenaries that would be willing to be light Calvary scouts. Standing near the crowd Will could hear conversations that Sir Hektor was recruiting because there was a rumor from travelers that the Enemy was raising an army to bring fear, death, fire and domination to south. //That's impossible//, Will thought. The Enemy had been defeated during my fathers age, it was way too fast for them to rise up again. The Enemy, also called the northern barbarians, were an ambitious lot that loved fighting and hated peace, so they often attacked nearby cities. My father told me that in his time people were often called to arms to defend raids that the Enemy led. The Enemy also laid sieges to many cities and scouts always had to keep track of where the Enemy was. But recently, all the southern cities forged an alliance and they massed a great army to defeat and weaken the Enemy once and for all. So it was impossible for the Enemy to regroup so fast. "There's sorcery involved I tell you." Will turned to see the man who was talking. The man had a face that seem to tell everyone he loved to gossip and create rumors. So Will ignored him and went to get recruited.

Will approached a burly rough looking man that was scribbling words on a book. "Is this where we sign up?" He asked. "Of course!" He said without looking up. "Can't you look up and see the board? That's what it says "Sign Up Here". "Uhhh.. Okay.." Will replied. "I like to sign up then." "Not so fast! "Don't you have to tell me your name? Where you live? How long you are serving? Youths these days." The man mumbled angrily. After giving the information to him, Will was told to go to the armor to collect his weapons and armor. The armorer looked busy and his hair was standing up in odd angles. Will watch him rush to and fro as he gave Will his armor. "Here, you'll need light armor since your a scout." Will's knees nearly buckled as the man dropped a worn out looking chain mail, a leather jerkin to go over the chain mail, iron plate legs, a rusty looking helmet, a sword and a pair of leather gloves and boots into his arms. As Will walked out, trying not to spill the bundle cramped in his hands he heard someone call out. Turning around he saw a friendly looking knight dressed in full armor walk up to him, he made weird clinking noises while walking Will noted. "You there!" "What is your name?" "It's Will sir, Will Dare." "Will!!!! Why didn't you tell me you were here?!" "Umm... Sir... I don't know who you are.." Will said slowly. "Of course.. You wouldn't knew me, you where too young then!" The shining knight said. Looking at Will's puzzled expression he continued. "Well you see, your father and I go a long way back, during the old wars with the Enemy he saved my life by fighting off three enemies that were on me, he really had some real fighting talent, well so then your father soon became friends with me and back then you were a little toddler, but soon I got promoted to general and I was sent to Zamerkand to serve there, we haven't kept in touch since." "By the way, do you want to embark on a quest bursting and brimming with adventure and danger, I hear there's a lot of treasure too, all we have to do is to slay the red eyed bunny!" Hearing the word "slaying bunnies" Will said "Sure, lets go then!"


 * Will and the knight set off together the next day. They traveled through forests, up mountains and in water. Will was hungry and tired and wondered if he had made the right choice. The best part of this time was that the knight told Will stories about Will's father that he never knew about. It made Will think about his dad and miss his home. On one especially beautiful day, Will and the knight saw every kind of animal except the bunny. Will was beginning to get the strange feeling that they were being followed. The knight told him not to worry. One night they built a campfire and went to sleep. In the middle of the night Will woke up suddenly to find the knight gagged and tied up and being dragged away by weird creatures. Will did not know what to do and then he came up with a plan. He decided to go home and ask his father to come with him and help rescue his father's long lost friend.**

After returning to the edge of civilization Will bought a horse and rode for two days and one night non stop, he almost broke the horse's wind but finally as he turned into his farm and abruptly stopped the horse. As he got of the horse he quickly went to meet with his father. "Father, we have to go right now!" Will exclaimed after he told the whole story to him. His father sighed and sat down. "My adventuring days are long over son, but Hektor is still my friend, it's just that he was too adventurous, which led to his disaster... Father went was silent for awhile, Will almost thought he was dozing off when he said. "I guess I don't have a choice, he is my friend after all." My dad grinned. "We don't want the whole nation to wonder where he went eh?"

As my dad and I set off, making my mom more miserable. We crossed treacherous mountains and climbed rocky terrain, galloped across prairies and large open fields, trekked through dangerous swamps and endured harsh weathers until we finally reached our destination. "There, I think we reached the dragons lair." My dad sighed. I blinked. "H-H-How do you know that?" I asked with a puzzled expression. "I found it on a map. Nowadays everyone is looking for it..." So we stepped into the edge of the forest. After trekking for awhile my dad stopped suddenly. He pointed to a large tree. The tree bore hideous claw marks, the bark of it was all scratched off and all that remained was claw marks and the white flesh of the tree. //The dragon sounds more like a cat to me, everything I'm told about him sounds more like something else rather than a dragon...// //I thought.// "Watch out!" My dad yelled and drew his weapon, pointing frantically at something. I turned my body and managed to draw my sword too, but only just in time to see a furry arm slam into me, then my vision dulled and I sank into oblivion.

"Hi!" I heard something say. I open my eyes to find myself in a enormous cave... Only to see a furry creature staring at my face in front of me. "Who are you?" I said dizzily. "Your new best friend!" "Oh no..." I quickly looked around to excess the situation, I saw dad right next to me staring at the dragon, the cave we were in had only one entrance, a hole above us. After talking with the dragon for awhile, who was furry and hopped like a bunny with red eyes, I knew I had to get out, before the dragon was finished being my best friend and made us mad, so I stalled for time. "Your a special one." The dragon said after he thought for awhile. "Never have I such a friend who doesn't mumble and stammer and say useless words while looking scared. You really are a true friend." And so I risked all odds, not to mention my dad and my life. "I hate you! You'll never be my friend, your my worst enemy now!" I declared. The dragon's face turned from happy to one of total misery. "B-But you can't do that! After all our friendship making you can't do that! Foes can be friends..." The dragon tried desperately, tears forming in his eyes. He had never met anyone who didn't want to be his friend, willingly or forced. "Under one condition." I countered, trying to steady my voice and not to sound nervous, but to sound angry. "Don't make us mad with your eyes and help me find my friend!" I said fiercely. "Ok Ok, I will I will, anything you say friend." The dragon stammered shakily and wiped his eyes vigorously, trying to please me.

So we set off home with one extra companion, the dragon told us that on his way picking trees to decorate his dwelling he saw about ten men swathed in black from head to toe, dragging someone with them, all of them looked so mean carrying various kinds of weapons, instruments of death he called it, and so he ignored them because he didn't want to make friends with such barbarians and ruffians. Hard to hear a dragon say that, really. So my dad and I concluded that they were the Enemy. As we walked into Zamerkand awed, amazed and shocked eyes turn to look at us, more of the dragon, really. Me, and my dad, walking with a dragon every hotheaded youth dreamed and fantasized about defeating, even the old men turned to look at us jealously, some had been searching for the dragons as long as they could remember. But we didn't stay long and the next the day we set off, armed and escorted leading a vanguard of a hundred heavy Calvary units, a squad of fifty light infantry 2 handed swordsmen, and twenty-five archers. So as my dad and I galloped across the country towards the Enemy's country, leading a force of a hundred and seventy troops, and a red eyed furry dragon flying above us, all at our command, ready to fight and die for the general they swore to protect with their lives. "Never dreamed of leading a life like this eh?" My dad commented, I nodded meekly. After marching non stop for five hours our army finally found where the Enemy held Sir Hektor. They held him prisoner in a town they conquered. Probably ready to deliver Sir Hektor to the capital so that they can ransom, coerce, blackmail or threaten or do whatever they want to to him or our country. "Hears the plan." I started. "There are approximately four hundred enemy men in the town, I won't scare you but all of you have to fight three each, or die trying, but no worries they're just random men armed with sharp sticks and we all have been drilled, trained and practice for this kind of scenario for years. So all we have to do is... Charge!!!" I spurred my war horse into a canter and finally into full speed, along with my dad and a hundred and seventy-five determined men galloping down behind me, it was a sight to see. I could already see the enemy shouting out alarms and frantically trying to rally their forces, who were scattered all over town. "Wham!" The Calvary slammed full force into the hastily unorganized defensive line of men that barely formed a shield wall in time. What the Calvary produced was deadly, the horses kicked men, broke backs and arms, stampeded, and whatever the horses didn't do the riders finished, it was massacre. The rest of us went into a killing frenzy. Slashing, shooting and stabbing at enemy men. We were outnumbered, but we had the element of surprise and most of us were on horse back, making us a hard to attack. As I charged into the town, beheading a man with a downward sweep of my sword, stabbed a men in the chest with my long sword and leaped of my horse. I was a whirlwind, with all the strength I mustered I stabbed, slashed, uppercutting at people, soon the sword became an extension of my arm, repeating the same death strokes again and again. I was deadly, I removed heads, cracked skulls, splintered bones, removed limbs and stabbed at vital organs. Soon there were dead men all around me, forming a circle of blood and death, it was as if this was some kind of sacrification ritual. Of what seemed like hours of slaughtering could be only an hour or so of fighting, I was a killing machine, and then someone announced the call of victory.

We saved Sir Hektor and defeated all of the enemy, loosing one fifth of our forces and twice as many wounded, thus in the process lifting the town's people of its great burden, after coercing a prisoner we found that this was a decoy, and that the Enemy was rallying its army at the other side of our country. We were a week away from the other side of the country and we had to inform and get them prepared as soon as we can, while calling every man to arms, we also had to get support from the legendary army of Zamerkand, which is why we need Sir Hektor to lead it. "No wonder they fought like chickens..." My dad mumbled.

War was coming, and our country had to be prepared for blood, death and fire to come...

=THE END!!= =Or I should say.... To be continued!!=

PEER REVIEW (Saint Michael)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Yes It is very original. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Yes, I find that this story contains all of the vital parts that a good story needs. I would just advise that you should be careful about your run-on sentences. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Yes, the characters are very lifelike and likeable and the characters are described very well. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Yes, when I read the story, I felt like I was standing right there when it happened.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I think that you need to fix the beginning with shorter sentences. You need to add the part where he goes after his fathers friend.