SO-Emma+B.

** Introduction:**
Hello I am Emma B. I am in sixth grade. My favorite color is aqua and I also like the color pink. There is one thing about me that is quite strange and unique I don't like pop. I have a cat Bella and I used to have two Hermit Crabs and some fish. I love music and I love to play the piano. I enjoy to canoe and I also just love to hang with my friends and just listen to music or just hang out and just have fun. I love to be with my family. I am in a special writing class because I got picked along with some other people from my class. I am going to present one of my pieces in front of an audience. I enjoy writing stories and songs. I just love to have fun 24/7. I hope you enjoy my story and I really hope that you comment on it. Thanks!

Beth By: Emma Buss

Beth was a young girl who always was hyper and who always was in the best mood but I will explain how she fell into a dark place in her life. Beth was 10 years old and was always a spectacular friend she helped her friend Neena study for the biggest test that ever lived. "So Neena what part of the test do you need help with, I will walk to the end of the earth to help you study for your test." "Ok, but all I need is just some help studying for the test." "Oh ok, just adding //dramatic impulse//." "Way to be cutting edge! I love it!" The two girls studied for a little while but then Beth, as usual, got her hands on some coke-a-cola and was bouncing off the walls in a sugar rush and they got off topic, again. "Bethany Anders Smith come back here we are supposed to be studying!" "I need to go right now before I break something. Because when I get hyper WOAH you know I get wild!" "But wait, …" //slam// and the door banged shut. It was 3 years later and they were both 13 and Beth got an "A" and of course Neena got a "B-". They have been talking like usual but Neena has learned a lesson in not to ask Beth for help with studying. //One October day everything changed for Beth.// On October 1 Beth’s brother got in a tragic car accident and passed away. Now it is 2 years later which means Beth is 15 and her mom is suspicious and finally spoke out on Beth’s behavior, "Beth are you ok because I would like to know what happened to that young, hyper girl that I used to call my daughter?" "Mom, leave me alone." "I am not going to leave this room until you tell me what the heck is going on in your head." "What if I don’t want to tell you? What if I don’t think that it is any of your business?" "Honey, it should be my business because I love you. Oh and don’t forget I am your mother!" "//Fine//, I just don’t think I am the happiest girl in the world. I just don’t think that I am in the right place right now.’ "Oh honey, I want to be happy all the time to, but it is hard. With your brother dying …" "That’s why I am upset I see all my friends and their happy families, why did it have to be mine that was torn to pieces." "Oh, it just isn’t ours that anything bad has ever happened. And I bet that if you asked your friends if they have had anything like that happen to them then I bet that they would say yes and then we could all move along." "//Move along//, Sorry mom but I think that, what you just said right there, is never going to happen! But mom I will try and then maybe, just maybe move along. Now if you will excuse me I need to get back to... well you now I was doing something and it was cool until you came in here." "Promise you will try to change?" "Promise." The next day at school Beth asked if her friends had been through anything bad like that and they said yes. Beth has learned to move along but never forget those moments when she feels like she has to cry or she has to be alone because by doing that, that means that you have lived your life to the fullest. One month went by. "There is that spunky and fun girl that I was looking for not long ago." "//Mom//, lets not forget hyper now!" As the two girls where giggling they did not realize that through that struggle that someone was there that whole time watching them and it was... her brother.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I think it is a creative and interesting text. My suggestions are that the author need put a little more work to improve the story. Diego C. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Beth was a very nice character. The climax satisfied me,the resolution too.The author could added a more suspense ending. Diego C. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Beth and Neena were best friends.They are enjoyable.I get a normal sense of character from that. Diego C. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Yes. It helps you see and hear and experience something of the story. Diego C. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The ending of the story. It needs to be more clearly and funny. Diego C.