SO-Daviesha+H.

**Introduction:**
well my name is Daviesha and I live in Wisconsin. I like to eat pretzels and cheese and I like to listen to country music. My favorite singer is Taylor Swift and rascal flatts. I have added a Voki with //my// voice so you can learn some more about me.

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sincerly

**Paste your story here:**
**The Move ** By Daviesha Hubert 

Slam, slam. I look in to the big u-haul that my mom is packing. Yet another “Vacation” as my mom calls it. I have moved so many times I can’t even count. This one will probably be the worst; I will be moving all way to Marshfield, Wisconsin from a small town in Minnesota where everybody knows everybody. Well before I get ahead of myself, I am 8 years old. I am an only child. I am tall for my age and soon I will be 9. I have blondish hair and I have green eyes. My name is Dee. Like I said before I have moved so many times I can’t count the moves. I have been moving since I was too young to remember. My first move I remember one thing. Well back to the story ,I am not enjoying this move much. Today is the day of Christmas at school. I get there and we do our normal morning stuff. Then after lunch we do the gift exchange. I get a box of rings from Kaylie S. Then everyone in the class and I get a reindeer with a little fake camera to see pictures of the North Pole from our teacher. When I leave for the last time from that school everybody says good bye one last time. I even notice my teacher looks sad while I am getting a good bye hug from my best friend Emily. I walk home to the house and my mom and my step-dad are packing everything up. She tells me that we will be waking up around one in the morning and then leaving. I keep saying, “//Don’t// forget me.” I go make sure every thing is packed in the truck. I run downstairs into my room and I notice that my toy cat is where my once stood. At supper time I eat with my grandma, grandpa, mom, and step-dad. We have my favorite meal mashed potatoes and my grandma’s with gravy with chunks of ham. It is so good. I see my grandma crying because she won’t get to see me for a while. I ask her to give me something to remember her by. She walks in to the laundry room right off of the kitchen it is so neat you can see every inch of the floor except where the washer and dryer are. i see her peak  I her head around the corner and grab me a cow fairy. It is a cow with a wand and a yellow halo shaped like the sun. I said, “Thank you”, “Very much.” about a hundred times My mom tells me it is time for bed at about 9:30 she says in an exited voice “you have a big day ahead of you.” I say back to her in a very vicious tone “No, I don’t you might but I don’t. I am the one who has to leave all of there friends their friends.” I go crawl into my “bed” which is really the couch. I have a hard time sleeping, but sooner or later I get to sleep. What seems like ten minutes later I hear my mom say, “Dee it is time to go.”  I growl and say, “all right, I’ll get up.”  I get dressed I hop in the u-haul ,the one where the truck is attached to the trailer, with my step dad. I realize I forgot the cow grandma had given me so I run into the house and grab it. When I hop back in to the truck we, drive off my mom leading the way in her green Oldsmobile. One the way there I keep asking my dad ridiculous questions like: What would happen? if or just questions that make no sense at all. At around 4:00 we get out for a stop and “Mom I’m hungry”, I say. So we go on the road for about an hour then we stop at Perkins. When we get there only a few people are there. I order just about everything off the kids menu because I didn’t eat breakfast, so I’m starving. I say, “Mom I don’t think I will need to eat anything else for the rest of my life. We get back in the cars. I fall asleep in the truck and when I wake up we are at my new house. I go run up stairs in to are part of the apartment. I’m to tired to walk so I use the elevator even the one floor ride up seems to take forever. I run around until I find the number 14 we are right next to the laundry room that is a plus. I go in the apartment and find what looks like it might be my room. My mom had just got in because she took the stairs.  I run around the house because this is a new place it won’t hurt. I find out the bathroom is right next to my mom’s room. I slowly open the closet door I peek around the edge it looks just like a normal closet. So I open the door all the way I step in and it smells like the previous owner had made pickles in there and stored them in there. I run out and scream it smells horrible. I tell my mom about that disgusting closet. She laughs at me and says, “Oh Dee there is no way it can be as bad as you describe it.” She walks into the closet and says, “Ew, how did I not notice this when I came to look at this house.” She gets over the fact of the smelly closet and starts unpacking the small boxes that we have the basics in them like toothbrushes, toothpaste, and bath and shower stuff. As she takes it out I go them in the right room the toothbrushes in the bathroom the same with the toothpaste and brushes. The rugs in the rooms they belong in. It out of nowhere becomes bedtime and we still don’t have my bed set up but we have the mattress on the floor so I sleep on that. When I wake up my back is super sore because I have rolled of my tiny twin size bed and onto the floor. I hear my mom and the clitter clatter of her taking the dishes out of boxes and into the cupboard. I go and say, “Mom where are we I don’t remember coming to this place.” She says, in response, “ Dee this is our new home” “Oh yeah I remember that” When I really don’t I try and find something to do beacause we have no television or anything like that set-up so it is up to me and my imagianation to create something to do. I decide that i could try to unpack the bigger things that are manageable for someone my age and then put them where they belong and then play store by myself. After I play store it is supper time becuase I had awoken so late, we have my favorite food Mac & Cheese. After supper i go play one momre round of store then my Step-dad Frank comes in saying, "Dee I am going to set-up your bed frame now. So you can go watch Tv in your mom's and my room." "Ok, do i have school tommarow?" "Yes you do have school." "Ugh do I have to go?" "That isn't up to me that is up to your mom but, I'm sure she'll say you have to go" "Fine I'll go", I say as i turn my back to leave to go watch Tv.

To be continued

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Yes, I think it is original. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? I think that it haven't enough suspense, and it is no so interesting for me. I think it can be added more suspense and tension and change the end because it is not interesting. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Yes, I think the characters are enjoyable. Yes it is understandable. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Yes, the details help a lot to understand more the story. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The end of the story need to be change or it need to be added somethig because it ends bit boring.