SO-Annika+C.

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Hello, my name is Annika Clouse! I am in 6th Grade at South Middle School, I love PE, social studies,math, and art. I play the flute and piano and I like to dance and sing! My favorite sports are softball and tennis! My favorite food is pizza with bacon, and my favorite snack is marshmallow eggs, and my favorite drink is lemonade. iCarly rocks and I love Harry Potter and Twilight! Keep rockin' people!=====

The Greatest Game By Annika Clouse Eau Claire, WI  “Good morning everybody! It’s 8 a.m. and it is time for you to wake up and smell the coffee!” yelled the radio announcer. “Wait, did he just say its 8 o’clock already! Oh no, I’m going to be late for the game!,” Mickey shout-whispered to herself. Mickey hurriedly pulled on her stretchable, white, Under Armor, while getting her head full of uncontrollably curly hair caught inside the neckline. The muffled yells of the radio announcer could be heard in the background. “Stupid alarm clock,” Mickey muttered as she pulled on her gray, Wilson brand, softball pants. “Mickey, are you coming for breakfast?” called Mickey’s mom, Dawn. “I’m still getting ready.” “Well hurry up then!” Next came the rusty red, printer pressed, jersey over her Under Armor. She quickly ran over to her sock drawer and pulled out her knee-high, tye dye, red, softball socks. As she hopped into the bathroom while getting her feet caught in her socks, Mickey grabbed the hair brush off the marble countertop and brushed her bird’s nest of untidy hair. She grabbed the red ponytail off the counter and pulled her hair up into her usual style, a pony tail with a red scrunchie and her caramel, brown bangs pulled into, of course, a red headband. Mickey grabbed the black, polished, softball cleats that were sitting next to the door with the perfect white, Nike swish on the side. She bolted down the stairs and into the kitchen where she was awaited by her father, mother, and little brother Danny, eating plates full of bacon, omelets stuffed with cheese and Canadian Bacon, and fresh squeezed orange juice. Next to Danny sat a plate with everything on it. Yes! Breakfast!, though Mickey. “Just take some in the car,” said Mom, “yes, you can eat in there this one time.” Dad was already at the cupboard getting down a travel bowl for Mickey’s breakfast. “I’ll be in the garage,” Mickey called through a mouth stuffed with bacon, “I need to get my bat bag ready.” While Mom was packing breakfast, and Dad and Danny were getting into the car, I grabbed my navy Nike bag off the hook outside the door and hurriedly stuffed it with Franklin batting gloves, her 31 inch and 7 pound bat, her tan, Raulings glove, and a red water bottle filled to the top with ice water. The Lewis Family all piled into the 4-wheel drive Suburban and set off for the softball game of a lifetime. Mickey’s team, The Fighting Phoenix, had made it all the way to the sectional finals (thanks to Mickey of course) and today was the game that would decide whether the small town of Keller would be represented at the Maryland State Girls Softball Championship. If they won this game they would make Mickey the most ecstatic person ever. As Mickey came walking down the gravel and dirt road towards the field she took in the beauty of it all. The freshly watered and cut grass, the perfect white lines representing what was in and what was out, the polished cream bases ready for the game, and the smell of buttered popcorn being popped in the clubhouse next to the field. Mickey climbed into the dugout and hung her bag on the hooks on the wooden panel hanging above the green metal bench in which the players would sit. She grabbed her bat and her glove and ran out into the grass for practice. “Ah man,” muttered the teammates, “I thought she wasn’t going to show up.” Another said, “She is so concerned about herself that she doesn’t let the team do a single thing.” “Coach Browning, sorry I’m late! You know I wouldn’t abandon the team when they need me so much!” called Mickey. “Yeah, we really need her,” said another. During practice Mickey showed off all of her skills as usual. When it was her turn to bat she hit 3 balls flying past the yellow-rimmed, chain link fence, and on the others, totally faked her team out by hitting perfect bunts right in front of them. Whenever Mickey wasn’t batting, she would leave her position just to make sure that she was the one who caught all of the balls! “Huddle up!” called Coach Browning. “This team is very good at bunting so don’t always expect to go for the flies. Keep your defenses strong and we can do this!” The game started and Mickey walked up to the home plate. First one out, she thought. The pitcher wound up and the neon yellow and green ball went flying. Mickey hit it smack dab in the center and sent the ball flying into the outfield. “Triple for Lewis!” called the announcer. Mickey was next to steal home. Her fellow teammate jumped out of the way just in time for Mickey to slide into the plate. “One point for the Phoenix!” When the team went out to play in the field, Mickey was always the first to shag some fly balls, or to charge on the grounders. By the time the game was over the score was 25-3 with the Phoenix leading. Coach Browning walked onto the field to talk to the other coach. As he turned around he had a large smile on his tan-leather face. “It’s a forfeit, which means we win!” The coach exploded with happiness and cheers of there victory. Mickey was overwhelmed with happiness as she joined in the celebration. You see what I did, thought Mickey. Mickey’s parents took Mickey and the rest of the team to Pizza Party Place for food after the game. Mickey called over the table, “I call practice down at the school on Saturday at 2:30! Be there or be square!” Saturday morning came like a shooting bullet. Mickey prepared all of her things for her practice and pulled on shorts and a t-shirt instead of her regular uniform. After the grilled cheese for lunch, Mickey climbed into her dad’s car and drove to the practice. She was the first to arrive in the field behind the old elementary school that had been closed down for at least 20 years. Mickey lay down the pile of bats by the fences for the girls that didn’t own one, set out all the bases at the equal distance they were supposed to be, and set up the pitchers mound for Katie, who would be pitching for the practice. She also set up a schedule of who would be batting in what order and what position they would be playing. Mickey always gave herself her favorite position, first base, and was always the first to bat on her team. When all of the team arrived, Mickey seemed to be the only one who was excited. As Mickey was going up to hit her “grand slam” and send her teammates running. Katie wound up the first pitch with her spiral arm and sent a curve ball straight towards the catcher. Mickey smacked the ball on contact and sent it flying way over the outfielders head. As Mickey made her mad dash to first base, Mickey felt a crack and an instantaneous pressure. She collapsed right in front of the base, screaming of the terror of her leg injury. The first basemen hurried over to Mickey while the pitcher ran to grab her cell phone and with trembling fingers, dialed 911. Katie then dialed the home phone number of Mickey and told Mrs. Lewis everything that had happened. The ambulance arrived at the field, with flashing red and white lights, and the blue suited paramedics jumped out of the truck with the gurney behind them. They slowly lifted Mickey onto the stretcher. The last thing Mickey saw was the shocked faces of her teammates. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis ran down the florescent lighted hospital hallway and into room 284 were their daughter lay in bed, with her leg propped up on a mound of pillows, watching Whose Line Is It Anyway on ABC Family. “How are you, sweetie?” asked Mr. Lewis. “I feel okay, but I feel even worse about what the doctors just told me! They said if I want to make a full recovery that I have to go into surgery to get my leg repaired and that means that I can’t play in the championships next week.” “We know your upset honey, but there is no way that you can play in this condition and if you did you could hurt yourself even worse. We can go and watch the game though.” “But now that I am gone, my team is bound to lose. I was the best thing that ever happened to that team and you know it.” “Now you wait right there. You need a serious attitude adjustment. There are some great players on your team but you were so busy being the star and hero that you don’t realize that your team can make it without you, Mickey!” “Yeah, like those idiots can make it very far. They will all be depressed when they hear I’m not playing because they know that they will lose!” Mrs. Lewis then called Katie back and thanked her for calling to say what had happened to Mickey. She also said that Mickey would not be playing in the game on Saturday, even if she wasn’t injured and to make sure to try the very best that they could in the game. “She’s out!” Katie called. “What?” “Yeah, she banged up her knee so bad that we will actually be able to show that we can play softball as good as her!” As they were speaking, Mickey was being pushed into the operation. Don’t panic, thought Mickey. “The procedure will take place inside your left leg of course,” told Dr. Morgan, “we will be putting you to rest and then we will go and fix your muscle problem and hopefully make sure that it doesn’t break again.” The surgery took two hours, and by the time Mickey was wheeled out she had a gash on her leg that was at least as long as a ruler. Dr. Morgan then wheeled her into the room next door to give her crutches and a bright red cast for her leg. “Come on, I’m stuck here for two days! I have to get ready to go //see “my” team// play at state and I want to be there when the teams arrive.” “Don’t worry, honey, we are going to go home and pack your bags with some of your clothes so when they let you go we can head down to state.” “Fine then!” Mickey sat in the hospital sulking as she thought about how the rest of her team was already in the state capital, practicing and meeting all the girls from the international team. The thought that made her most upset was that she wasn’t playing, which meant that her team wouldn’t win. In the Suburban, two days later, was the Lewis family, with all of their luggage, toys, movies, and Mickey’s softball stuff(just in case), and of course, the moody Mickey. Mickey sat and sulked for the two hour drive and the traffic jam while getting into the stadium. The Lewis family arrived just in time for the championship game, Phoenix vs. Eagles. Mickey could hardly watch as her team went out to bat. Smack, Katie sent a curveball flying into the outfield. OMG! Who knew that she hit that well? By the end of the first three innings, Mickey’s team was up 18-9 and by the end of the game they were up 25-13. Mickey was flabbergasted! Mickey quickly hobbled down onto the field and yelled congratulations to her team. “I am so sorry, I never knew how good you guys played. I never gave you a chance because I was to busy being a star.” By the end of the next season, Mickey’s leg had mended and so had her friendship and attitude towards softball. She was no longer the only star and she was proud of it. Her team was going to state and she was so excited. Who knows what will happen this time?

Questions for Peer Reviewers
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?