ISKL+Riley+P

** Introduction:**
Include some or all of the following, as well as a link to your blog: first name, what you like to do in and out of school, favorites (food, sport, hobby, TV show, video game, etc.), places visited, future plans, claim to fame.  Hi! My name is Riley. My favorite things to do are write, play sports and hang out with my friends. I like keeping in touch with my friends through MSN. As you can tell by my writing here, my favorite color is green and my favorite book is Twilight (the series). My career goals (for when I get old enough of course!) are to either be a writer or an actress. I really like acting. It is so cool to be someone you're not and you can do anything in acting without feeling stupid. I have been in the middle school play this year and I even got chosen as one of the 16 out of about 60 people to go to an acting trip. We traveled to Shanghai and I got to meet a lot of fellow actors and actresses. It was so fun and such a great experience because I also got to be taught by profesional actors. I hope to do more acting in the future.

I am American but I live overseas and it is so great to go through all of these new experiences and learn about new cultures. I am really happy about being here for a lot of reasons but a big reason is because I have widened my food choice. In the U.S I would have never eaten Thai food but now I will. Although I will eat more food, my favorite food is still a good pork hotdog at a classic baseball game. YUUUUM. :)

O.k well I guess I should wrap it up. Thanks for reading about me and I can't wait to edit some more! :D

-Riley

**Paste your story here:**
I skim my eyes back and forth across the magazine spread that lay open on my bed and rip off the subscription sticker that says the magazine is addressed to Jessica Block. As I turn over the page, there is a particular add that catches my attention. It shows a lady with glamorous makeup who is sitting in an elegant fur chair. I look a tiny bit closer to realize that in between her bottom and top lip, there is a lit cigarette propped up. On the very bottom of the page in neat cursive, it reads: ‘Blend in. Be cool. Have a cigarette.’ This brings furry into my whole body and I am nearly shaking on my bed. Why do they try to promote smoking? All it does is kill you slowly and waste your money! I hate when people smoke. There is nothing good that comes out of it! People really need to understand the hazards to smoking I decide in the end. I get off of my purple bed and head over to my computer. It asks for my username: JessicaB94. The screen purrs to life and I immediately go on the Internet to search Google. I type in Smoking facts and it says there are 1,610,000 results. Wow. I just decided to pick the first link called 101 smoking facts. The site is loaded with facts and I make sure to write them all down. I am determined to help these statistics go down and I know I’m only 14, but I want to stop smoking from polluting people’s bodies. Soon enough I have plenty of facts about smoking and how it is incredibly dangerous for your health. I’m not quit sure what I am going to do with them yet but I have time to decide. When I get home from school the next day, I notice the newspaper spread out on the kitchen table. The Headline says: ’17 Year-old Dies From Smoking.’ Alright that’s enough! I know I want to do something about smoking. But how can I, just a young 14 year-old, change the world? The only things I’m good at are playing soccer and writing. Wait, maybe I can write a letter to someone! But who has enough power to stop selling cigarettes? Well there is one person I can think of… But that’s completely impossible…right? I decide to go through with my plan and get started on a letter right away. After 1 hour and 34 minutes of perfecting it, I come up with this:

Dear Mr. Obama, I am aware that you are a very busy man but I would just like to bring a very important matter to your attention. I am writing this letter to demote smoking and to educate you on the hazards and dangers of it. I will mainly talk about teen smoking because that is an area that I’m familiar with. Each day, 3,000 children try their first cigarette and at least 3 million people under the age of 18 are smokers. 20% of American teens smoke. Of every 100,000 15 year-old smokers, 20,000 will be killed by tobacco before the age of 70. More than 90% of smokers who are adults started this nasty habit when they were teenagers. There are over 4,000 chemicals in cigarettes and around 50 of them cause cancer. Please Mr. Obama, help me stop smoking from taking over our world. I think that Cigarettes, Tobacco and Cigars should all be illegal drugs. I hope you have time to read this letter and I hope you take it seriously. Thank you for your time. Sincerely,

Jessica Block (Saint Paul, MN. 14 Years Old)

There, I hope that works! I lick the envelope shut and after finding out the address to the white house, address the letter. I told my mom about my idea and she thinks it is wonderful. She will drop off the letter tomorrow at the post office and now all I have to do is wait.**


 * (5 months later)

After waiting almost half of a year, a response finally comes in the mail and is addressed to me from the white house. I can hardly wait and tear the envelope open. Out falls a letter from Mr. Obama himself!

Dear Jessica Block, I am happy to see that you are taking an interest into this subject and was happy to read your letter. I’m sorry that I couldn’t reply sooner but as you probably know, I have lots to do. I like your idea personally but it will be hard to pass that law because of many difficult issues. I have already held a meeting about it and am trying to fix the smoking problem. I enjoyed how you found facts about smoking. I am trying my best to do what I can and hopefully, everything works out.

Sincerely,

Barack Obama

I am so excited that I can barely contain my enthusiasm. Barack Obama likes my idea! Barack Obama is trying to prevent smoking! I can hardly believe it myself. I read the letter over 5 more times just to make sure that I’m not going delusional. And before I know it, Barrack Obama was on the T.V educating America about smoking and why it shouldn’t happen. Many debates happen on T.V and after 3 months of tremendously hard work, Obama passed a law that declares that cigarettes can now not be sold legally. I guess that people could still smoke but if they got caught, they would have to go to jail. I sent Obama a thank you letter and I can’t believe that I, Jessica Block, changed the U.S for the better. It’s amazing to think of how many lives this law can and will save! ‘That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.’

Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Plot is not original or interesting; you should make it more fascinating. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Character doesn't really face any problems; no suspense, tension or interest. Climax not very satisfying. You should add more about why you think smoking is so bad, and change the person you send the letter to to someone in Kuala Lumpur who has the power to ban them. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Characters are life-like and enjoyable/likable; good sense of character from what they do/say. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Imagery and details help experience the story to a good level; I suggest adding maybe a little bit more details about the kind of magazine you were reading and that you didn't expect to be an add for a ciggarette on it. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I would say that the beginning needs the most improvement because it doesn't really give details about what is happening and why you jumped into writing a letter because it only gives some details but more could make it better. - VV Daniel W