VV+Max

**Hi my name is [|Max.] Check out my Blog!**
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** Joe, Mark and Bob… The Best of friends ** Joe and Bob are both elementary students who have problems with bullies. Joe is getting bullied by Fred. And Bob is getting bullied by George. And then there’s Mark, Mark is a boy who does not have any friends but he is never bullied. he is just a nobody that no one really cares about. he is skinny and boney but very smart and listens very closly and has a good memory and that is going to help him in this story. One day Mark is walking by bob and George. And George is punching Bob in the arm, Mark just ignores it and then he sees Fred beating up Joe, he just ignores it. This continues for weeks and mark starts getting worried about Joe and Bob because they were in pain and one day he decides to do something about it. He thinks of ways he could make it stop, and then he remembers that Mr. Bantam the school councilor taught them about their W.I.T.S witch stand for Walk away Ignore Talk it out Seek help.

So mark went and told Joe and Bob this strategy. Joe tried to walk away from Fred but Fred just followed Joe. Meanwhile bob tried to ignore George but George didn’t stop. So Joe tried talking to George but he didn’t listen and finally they both used Seek help and they both talked to Mr. Bantam and he stopped it right away and they never got bullied again. But when Fred and George herd that mark had helped Joe and Bob they were very angry. So they both started planing to beat up Mark. One day they waited till no one was around and then found Mark, they cornered him in the shadow of a big tree and then... reader it was too brutal to decribe... but the brutal part was not George and Fred beating up mark it was Joe and Bob and Mark all fighting the bullies together! and from that day on they didn't get bugged ever again and they were all the best of friends.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?


====the plot is very common and i think you could twist it around a little more and lengthen the story describe the character more but not to much or it will get repetitive the climax is not interesting its to normal you should be looking for something eye catching something that would make me want to be buy it but your punctuation and your description in the beginning is good ~iskl Tobi~ ====


2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? i don't think there is much suspense like i think when they are beating up mark they should have taken him to a dark alley a beat him up so hard and they left his body there after a few hours they start a search party so your not only adding suspense your also adding description.~iskl Tobi~

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? i liked the bond with the characters how they stuck up for one another ~iskl Tobi~

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? there wasn't much description in the characters for me to fully understand what their personality was like you could have commented on the clothes they wear and you cold have been more descriptive about the counciler it would be interesting if the counciler saw them fighting and ignored them or they bribed the counciler ~iskl Tobi~

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? put in more suspence make me want to buy it just by reading the first word for example use an action word in the begining example pounded me constantly against the locker door ~iskl Tobi~