BF-Blanca+P

hey! My name is Blanca... im 12 years old.(17 march, just las week!!!) I live in the most disgusting place in Barcelona, L'Eixample. Have you traveled a lot???? I haven't. The only places i went to are to portugal (witch i lived in 10 years) and boring old Barcelona. I want to go to hollywood to become a acress, I know that won't happen.... :( i like rap music a lot: i live in the 1st floor in an apartment. my house is very old and my room is the smallest and coldest (i guess that's because it's blue) part of the house. i have a wardrobe full of clothes, a bed with more clothes under it, and 2 shelves full of books (which i never read, i'm not the type of person who likes to read...) My favourite famous person, as a woman, is Miley Cyrus, and as a man, Zac Efron... JEJEJE!!! i love horses (horse-back riding) and i play a lot of tennis. starting on monday 30 March, ill start swimming with my mom!
 * sexy back
 * kiss kiss
 * candy shop
 * ill hurt you

xoxo, Blanca Piera :P

hey! it's me again... i am part of a 'group' called ABC SISTAS... A stands for Aina, one of my best frends, B stands for blanca, ME!, and last but not least C stands for Catalina IOW kta, my other best friend, the abc sis's are bff's... i have another bff who's called Anna De Tord, not Ana Lavs... she is a very good friend and knows how to keep secrets! i love all 3 of them!!! :) <333333333333333333 ......................anna de tord......................._............................ me.............................. ...........................kta..........................._..................... aina............................

P.S.: i've got facebook. I <3 dancing!

hey me again! (it's getting kind of annoying...) i forgot to tell you about my brothers. i have to brothers. The oldest is 20 years old and is called Joan. He is short ad if he touches you, you fall... My other brother is 17. he'll be 18 on may 9th. he's called Marc. How can i describe him... I know, he is a rug. he doesn't move from his spot and spends the day playing poker in facebook. Joan is very careing and always hugs me. Marc is very annoying and always hits me. The 3 of us look from different families, we are nothing alike. My mom is... old. My father tries to be funny but he looks stupid i a cute way. My father and i are twins. here are some photos:

me..............................................................Mª Rosa (mom) ..................................Elvira (Joan's girlfriend) Joan.............

Joan (dad)..........................................................marc............................................................... my story:

Stupid Dog On a sunny afternoon, Lilly, daughter of Francis and Isabel, was on the harbor sitting in a beach chair with her grandma, Josephine; when all of a sudden Francis came by. He said, “Sweet heart, we are leaving ok, we’ll be back by 13:00.” “Bye daddy.” “Good bye darling.” Behind him, Isabel followed him carrying a big bag. She stopped and threw a kiss at her and went on walking. Emily and Michael (her friends) ran past without noticing her. She was so grateful for that, normally, they would stop and tell her about their lives; it was horrible. She saw the boat crashing out of the harbor and hitting the waves with such strength their water would never meet again. I the distance she could see Isabel and Emily preparing their towels to tan on. “So, what do you want for lunch?” her grandma asked. “Noodles,” she answered. Josephine got up and went into the breach house. Suddenly, she saw a white shape in the sea; she ran by and realized it was The White Tortoise. She had the gift, when she was little she saved a group of oysters from dieing. Then a fish came and said, “Sweet girl, for your sacrifice, every time someone’s in trouble, The White Tortoise will come to alert you. So, she knew something had happened but she wasn’t sure what. “What’s your problem darling?” asked Josephine. “Something’s gone wrong.” She answered. “How did you find out?” Grandma asked alerted. “About what?” she wondered. “Your parents didn’t answer the phone.” Granny said worriedly. “Oh no! Something is really bad. We have to go sail for them, they aren’t ok!” So they ran down to the sail boat when suddenly, a dog jumped in. It was Dorky. He was called Dorky because he was really stupid; he was the neighbor’s dog. He was always up to trouble. So he helped sail the boat. In the distance, they could see the figure. As they got near, the figure started looking like a boat piece. Dorky started to bark, “What is it boy?” Lilly asked him as if he was going to answer her. Dorky ran to the edge of the boat, followed by Lilly. There she realized there were a bunch of eels fighting for a… piece of leg! Then, about five fins started surrounding the boat. One of them elevated itself and beneath it a scary, fat, white, mass. “Sharks!” cried Josephine while running to the alert radio. “Sharks! Sharks!” she repeated. “Don’t worry, we’re on our way.” A voice on the other side of the radio said. Then one of the sharks jumped into the boat, the shark was so heavy, the boat started to sink. The dog hesitated and climbed up the sail post. Lilly and Josephine were shark food by now. Dorky, still hanging from the post, was the only one left alive. As Security came by, they noticed the sharks so accelerated got Dorky and left. When they got to the harbor, Dorky sat down and stared at the sea. He looked carefully but he just couldn’t find what he was looking for. A tear went down his cheek. Selfish dog, he wasn’t the only one in danger.

By: Blanca Piera

**Story and Content**
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Yes the plot is original but i think you should make it more realistic, I mean sharks can't jump so how is it going to jump into a boat and sink it? And how did the dog climb up the sail post?
 * Starting - March 29 (2009):**

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? i think that the problems you put in needed to be revolved better, like where you have put in that there were eels in the water fighting over a leg you didn't have anything else about it. mabe you could put text at the end saying somthing like: we contacted the police about the leg in the water then two days later some divers found a dround body missing a legand it was the same leg that the eels were eating.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

Story and Content
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I liked how you made it suspense ful and added the part about the girl having"the gift"
 * proofread on May 6 2009**

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? I think that you need to add more about the dog being the only survivor. I was a little confused about that at the end.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? Mabe more information about the dog becase he is the title of the story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I like the part about the white tortose. I like when you put the piece of leg in big and bold.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? You should put in more suspense when they are on the boat waiting for help

**Story and Content**
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
 * Starting - March 29 (2009):**

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

**Story and Content**
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
 * Starting - March 29 (2009):**

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?