TM-David

Hi my name is David Brown. I am 11years old I am turning 12 on May 28th. I live in Plaistow, New Hampshire. Some things I like to do are Play X-box on X-Box live. I also like to play baseball, basketball, hockey, ride my bike, and skateboard. My favorite sport is basketball. My favorite basketball team is the Boston Celtics. My favorite player on the Boston Celtics is Paul Peirce. I have a cat named Kobe. My cat is really stupid. Some of the stupid things he does are lick power outlets and he tries to run through wires. He is named after a basketball player named Kobe Bryant. I used to have a dog but it died in a fire. I live with my mom. My mom is really annoying she never stops complaining. I don’t live with my dad he lives in Rhode Island. I have three brothers. Their names are Adam, Alex, and Andre.

yours truly, David Brown

The land of the ducks is very extraordinary and fun. The land of the ducks is top secret and no body knows that is even exists! Well, anyways that’s not what this story is all about it is all about a duck named Drew. Drew is different from all the other ducks. He has super powers. Well, Drew woke up one morning and felt weird. He got out of bed and looked in the mirror. “Oh my god! I have a mustache!!” Said Drew. “This is so cool.” Drew got all ready for school and ran down his stairs. His mom gave him a strange look and said, “What is that on your face?” “Um, It’s a mustache mom.” “Aw! Your finally an adult.” “Um I guess so.” Drew’s mom looked at the clock and said, “Oh, here is your lunch, you might want to get running to your bus its kind of late.” Drew grabbed his lunch and ran out the door. He turned the block and saw that his bus had already gone by his stop! “Aw just what I need!” Drew started running super fast. He actually got to school early. Drew walked to his first class and knew that it was going to be a long boring day for him. Ring!! The end of the day school bell rang. Drew ran out of school. “Finally! Today was so boring!” Said Drew’s best friend Brandon. “I am just going to be a coach potato all vacation!” Said Drew. “Oh, how fun.” Drew and Brandon live right next store to each other and ever since they were little ducks, they were best friends. Brandon and Drew finally arrived at their houses and Drew looked over at Brandon’s house and it had looked like someone had broken in. “Oh my god Brandon! Your house is all smashed up!” Brandon and Drew ran int o the house and everything inside had been taken! Brandon ran over to the only thing left, a picture of his whole family together for vacation last year to Mexico. But right next to the picture was a mysterious note. “What’s this?” Said Brandon. The note said, “You may not know me but I know you very well. I have been looking over at your family for many years. I have captured your family and I am keeping them hostage until you give me what I want. Your friend Drew’s super powers.” Brandon looked over at Drew and fell to the floor.
 * //__ Chapter 1~ Land of the Ducks __//**

Chapter 2 the plan Brandon woke up on his kitchen floor with the note still inside of his hand. “Drew? Are you still here?” Brandon got up and ran outside and ran over to Drew’s house. “Drew open up!” But there was no answer. Brandon screamed and banged but still no answer. Brandon ran back to his house.

** Questions for Peer Reviewers **
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you // see // and // hear // and // experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author ?