ISKL+Teddy,+William

Introduction ~ Teddy and William

//**Characters:**// Kenny - Human Mark - Human

Kenny's house, High tech Pirate ship, Kenny's house.
 * //Setting//**:

//**Time:**// 3012A.D.

Beginning= There were two 13 and 14 year old's called Kenny and Mark. Kenny invites Mark to his house. Kenny goes outside and jumps on his trampoline while Mark rides his own hover board. Kenny started talking about their other adventures like when they went to space and ate moon cheese, and when they went to the Pacific Ocean and their "warmers" (something that keeps them warm) ran out of power. They had very good times when they were a few years younger, Mark wants to become rich and be famous. So Mark has the idea to get gold from a high tech pirate ship.

Plot= Kenny invites Mark over for a sleep over. They get bored so they go outside and Kenny jumps on his trampoline, while Mark goes on his hover board and **flies** around the house. Kenny reminds Mark of the old times when they had all their adventures. And Mark gets the idea to go find treasure and use it for special purposes even though they have a good life. They take a teleporter and get sent to the nearest pirate ship. Suddenly Kenny's trampoline breaks and Mark's hover board has a malfunction and breaks down. Mark and Kenny start getting worried because there are pirates everywhere and if they get caught they would be in a lot of trouble. Mark suggests they stay there until they go to sleep then they tie them up one by one and throw them in the water so they have time to get back to Kenny's house before anyone notices they have gone. When it gets dark they started to do Mark's idea and it actually worked for the first time! Neither of them know how to drive the boat so they randomly start it up and try to drive it but then they break off the steering wheel and the ship goes all over the place. Mark and Kenny start to feel sick so when they are close to land, they jump into the water and swim back to shore.

Conflict= Kenny's and Mark's hover board and trampoline break down and cannot find a way to get out of the Pirate ship.  The only way they can get away is if they swim in the shark infested water, or they could kick the pirates out the ship one by one when they're asleep and hijack the ship to get back to Kenny's house.

Story: Kenny and Mark are two different but friendly friends that have gone through many strange adventures. Kenny is a very mean human, is 14 years old, and always picks on Mark, but Mark just ignores him and carries on what he is meant to be doing. Mark is the exact opposite of Kenny and is always nice and kind to other people including Kenny. One hot day, Kenny invites Mark to come to his house for a sleep over because he has nothing to do. When Mark comes they still don't know what to do so they go outside and play on the trampoline and the hover board. When they go outside they start talking about all the adventures they had before. They talked about the time they traveled to space and ate moon cheese. And about the time they went to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and their "heaters" ran out of power. They had very good memories a few years ago when they wanted to become very rich and famous. At the thought of this, they remembered the time when they had a dream that they promised to go to a pirate ship. Unfortunately, they had not stuck to the promise until now. And now that they actually had some sort of transport to get them there. They had their trampoline and hover board to get them to wherever they needed to go. And that was what they needed. So, They suddenly they both got ready to take off and teleport to the nearest ship in our galaxy. When they got there they found out something was wrong with their teleporter's engine. They brought the engine to a mechanic and he fixed it. They teleported to the nearest pirate ship. Kenny and Mark hid behind a stairwell. They waited until night to explore around the pirate ship. While Kenny was sneaking around the captain's room, Mark was keeping lookout. Suddenly Mark saw a shadow, it was getting closer and closer. Next, a hand reached out and grabbed Mark by the arm and pulled him into the light. A pirate was staring right at him. "Are you here alone ?" the pirate said. (Mark and Kenny have to tell a story to the pirates to keep them from hurting them)  

PEER REVIEW (Saint Michael)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

The plot is great and original. Just add some more details. Overall though, this story is awesome.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

The problem is well-written but needs more details. The suspense and tension are great in this story. I found it interesting.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

The descriptions are life-like but you could describe why they are friends. The descriptions were very good. The characters would be likeable and seem like very good friends.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

The imagery is great but details are far and in between.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

Detailing and the conclusion need just a bit or work. But overall, I'd give this story a 9 out of 10. It was great! :)