SO-Alyssa+S.

**Introduction:**
Hey Future Friends! My name is Alyssa Stensen and I am a sixth grader and I love to have fun. I have two younger sisters. One is a year and a couple months. Her name is Kendyl. I also have a five year old sister named Jordyn. I have a pool, a bounce house, a WII and a big slide, so I have great fun in the Summer. In the winter, my sister Jordyn and I go in our swing set and chuck snowballs out of a window that we have and see who can throw the furthest. I have a cat named Roxy and a dog named Phaetyn. I also have a parakeet named Watermelon Sweetie Pie (Jordyn picked the name) and I love to make emotion-cons like this band - aid → (:::[]:::), or this suprised man → :o a happy man with a nose → :n) a winking, happy man → ;n) and even a man in sorrow man → ;( and a monkey or frog man : I love to make new friends (which may be __**you)**__ That is all about me !        

=Coca = = By: Alyssa Stensen =

On a brisk, spring morning, I was walking through the dew-filled grass that faded away into a dark, also damp alleyway to get to school. I was wearing my blue hooded sweatshirt so I pulled the hood over my wavy, blonde hair, because it was slightly raining and I wanted to prevent myself from looking like complete crap. I noticed that my old, worn out tennis shoe was untied so I bent down to tie it. As I bent down, I saw that there were spots all over the cuffs of my skinny-legged jeans. I reached into my pocket to discover that my mom had written a note for me. It read: Melissa, I didn’t have time to go to the Laundromat this week. I am **//soooo //** sorry for the spots on your jeans. You can clean them when you get home from school or maybe sometime at school today. Gotta go sweetie pie! Mom

As I read “…have time to go to the Laundromat…” I thought, ”Again.” I tucked the note back into my pocket as I proceeded to East Ridge Junior-High School. I quickened my pace, but a soft sound made me stop, dead in my tracks. “Meow. Me­­–“, I thought I was dreaming one of my fantasy dreams that some day I would find a cat with multi-colored spots and would be mine, forever. I looked around me and soon I began to walk away, when I heard the noise again. “Meow.” This time the sound was louder and I knew that I was //not// dreaming. I looked around wondering where the sound was coming from. I looked around for maybe 30 seconds when I saw a strange garbage dumpster that I normally did not see on my normal walk to school. I walked, more tiptoed, over to the dumpster, and slowly opened the lid, and saw a regular trash bag. “Maybe this is a dream?” I ever so carefully untied the garbage bag only to find another garbage bag that was identical, except that it was all bloody. With out caring if I got blood allover my newly painted nails, I untied the bag. Inside I saw a small, nearly dead kitty. I looked at the cat and slowly took her out of the bag and said quietly, though no one was around, ”Ill take care of you”, even though I knew perfectly well that I couldn’t pay for a cat. We can barely pay for the rent of our rinky-dinky apartment and to go to the laundromat. I took out my handkerchief and began to wipe off the dried-on blood. I called her Coca. I saw and could easily count all of her ribs. I saw a mouse and even though I felt bad, I began to hit him until he was dead. I held up the mouse to Coca. I was wondering why she wasn’t eating it, but soon realized that she was way too weak to eat, and I was surprised that she actually said “Meow” to a point where I could hear her. I took off my jacket and began to wrap it around Coca. I began to walk away when a question I had not though about crossed my mind. “Where should I put Coca at school?” I then realized that if I wanted to, I could skip school, and mom would be okay with that because she said that I was already smarted than most of my teachers. I turned around to head to the store to buy Coca some food with my only money-$10.00. I did not know if I could buy food with that amount, but it was worth the try. I started to head out of the alley, when a tall lanky man with black, curly hair jumped out from behind a door. “Hey, where do you think you are taking that selfish cat?” “Home”, is which is my flat response “Oh…really? I don’t think so!?!” He tried to grab Coca, but I sensed his move and made a 180-degree turn and shoved him down, and ran past him. As I clutched Coca in my arms, I ran to Shopko. When I reached the door, I hastily walked in. I noticed that that man was not following me anymore. I was almost to the pet section, when I realized that that was the first place he would look for Coca and me. I walked across the aisle to get to the electronic section. I was careful not to let the sales employees ask me if I needed help-attention was the last thing I needed right now. I also stood watch for that man that tried to get Coca from me. “Why didn’t I go out the sales associates’ door”, I thought to myself. I was glad I did not because right after the thought crossed my mind, I saw the tall, lanky man come through the door and looked for “clues” that might lead him to me. He looked at me and made me duck down. The man was really walking to look in the pet section. He then almost disappeared out of thin air. I evaluated my options. “Stay here”, “Punch Him", "Run away". I chose none of them and chose to sneak my way to the pet section, buy the cat food, and call my mom to come pick me up. I went to the pet section and bought the most quality cat food that was under my price range, and asked the cashier for exchange from a dollar bill, to four quarters so I could pay to use the pay phone to call my mom to come and pick me up. My mom's phone began to ring, but then I realized that the man was headed right for me. Right as I began to hang up so I could escape him, I heard my mom's kind-hearted voice asking who was on the phone. Despite the fact that I was hanging up on my mom and she would probaly think it was a prank call, and would ask me later when I got home... if I ever did, I hung up. The man came closer to me as I ran past all the waiting costumers through the "help" line and told a sales associate what my problem was, and all he said was, "You should give him his cat back." "He abused her!!!", I yelled in fury "Miss, please give that man his cat back, please?" He went back to helping a lady that had apparently dropped a penny, and a toddler had taken it. The man then turned to me and said, "Please, give me "Coca" back" I didn't respond but ran past all the costumers and employees and dashed out of the door. I found a taxi, and the respectable man drove me home, even though I gave him under the amount for riding in the taxi. When I arrived at home, I waited for my mom to come home and when she did, I told her of my dillima and she said she had found a new job where the wages are higher every week by more than 75%and said we could afford keep Coca. I made Coca a bed in my room and put her to bed, but only after I was sure that she had been fed enough food. Every morning I woke up to find Coca either in her bed, in my bed with me, or in the kitchen with my mom. One morning I assumed that Coca was downstairs with my mother. I rolled over and went back to sleep. I woke up about 2 hours later and I went downstairs to my mom. "Is Coca still sleeping?" my mom had asked me "I thought that she was down here with you?" "I haven't seen her since last night" "Okay. Let me go to the bathroom and then I will look for her" "That is fine with me." So I made my way upstairs and into the bathroom and washed my face and then decided to take a shower. I walked out the door and into the hallway to grab a towel and a washcloth. "Mom, I am going to take a shower quick!" "Hurry or you will be late for school! I can drive you today. "Okay mom. I am going to get in now." I walked to the shower and opened the curtain. Inside was a cat that I was sure was Coca, and written on the wall was a message that read, "You didn't let me have her, so here is your punishment ↓. Haha!!! The message was written in blood. I looked down and there was a puddle, where my boat-load of tears mingled with Coca's blood. "Melissa, hurry. You and I will both be late!" "I don't feel good.", I yelled down the stairs "Okay, take care sweetie" "Bye, mom." As soon as I knew that my mom was far on the road, I went down to the kitchen and found the drawer that I needed. The pencil and paper cabinet. I wrote a note saying: Mom, Sorry to leave you like this. I had to.I will be with Coca. Look in the shower. I will always be thinking of you! Melissa. <span style="font-family: Tahoma, Geneva, sans-serif;">After that I started to cry and left a tear on my note. I set the note on the table where my mom could easily see it. I then went to the utinsil drawer and pulled out a long knife. I then went to the bathroom and prayed that mom would be happy and possible remarry a wonderful man that could make her even more happy. I stepped into the shower, lifted up Coca, took the knife and slit my neck open. I bled to death-with Coca in my arms.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
I luv all of the emotion-cons that u made in ur inroduction!!!☺☺ Laura (Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?