DM-Maggie+B

I **Siblings:  ** 1(older sister, Ellen) Since I was a little girl I’ve been waiting for this day and now that it is finally hear I can’t believe it is true. I can remember, when I was younger, asking God for one every single night while I was saying my bedtime prayers. This childhood wish of mine was to have a horse of my very own and today my prayers will be answered, well almost.
 * Hi, my name is** Maggie
 * Grade:**  8
 * Best Holiday:  **Christmas
 * Birth Month: **June
 * Career Goals: **be an architect
 * Favorite Band(s): **casting crowns and Toby mac
 * Favorite Food: **ketchup
 * Favorite Munchies:  **all dressed chips
 * Favorite soft drink:  **7 up
 * Favorite Subject: **math
 * <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Pet Peeve: don't have one **
 * <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Pets: 1 dog (shadow) **
 * Hobbies**: drawing

My dad's job transferred him to Calgary so I was forced to move too. I didn't want to go but my opinion had little affect on the decision. When I realized this I thought I might as well get something out of it. I mad a deal with my dad, I would move as long as we moved somewhere where I could have a horse and he agreed.

We arrive at our new home last week. It is a beautiful peace of land, the house is a big, old, white farmhouse, but even though it is old it is the nicest house on the street. There’s a barn to the left of the house and the driveway goes in front of both buildings, on the other side of the drive way are pastures for the horses, which are empty at the moment, but wont be for long. Later on our first boarder will be arriving. Since horses are expensive dad decided to let people board their horses hear instead of going through with his promise.

After I ate breakfast I went outside to sit on the deck and wait for the boarder to arrive. As soon as I saw the truck pull into the long driveway, I dashed inside to tell dad. When we came out the truck was pulling in, between the house and the barn. The lady that got out was tall, had blond hair, dressed in fancy riding clothes \ and looked like one of those people that were more concerned about winning ever competition than their horse. When she first spoke I could tell that my assumption was right. I decided to unload the horse while my father showed the lady around. I went up to the trailer and I wasn't sure if there even was a horse inside, it was quite, most horses would be neighing and moving at lest enough to make some noise. I unlocked the hack and pulled open the door. When I peered inside I saw the most beautiful horse had ever seem staring back at me. I placed my hand on his coat and stroked back and forth. I took a hold of his halter, lead him into the barn and put him in his stall.

At supper dad told me that I would be responsible for feeding and exercising the new horse, which name is Rocky. After supper I went to bed with thoughts of that glorious creature prancing through my dreams.

I awoke to the sun's raise beaming through my bedroom window, the beginning of a beautiful day. A perfect day to get to know the gorgeous horse that came hear yesterday.

When I finished eating my breakfast I went out to give his breakfast. I opened the big barn door and was greeted by a friendly winy. Rocky was standing with he head out of the stall; his charcoal black coat was glimmering in the sunlight. After he ate I took him out for a run, we went up to the brook boarding our land and we galloped around the circumference of our propriety until dad told me it was time to come in.

Over the next two weeks Rocky and I became the best of friends I loved him like he was my own. Every day we spent together exploring the farm and it's surroundings.

One day about a month after Rocky had first come to our farm, I went out to see him as usual, but when i went to his stall he wasn't there. I ran inside to find my dad. When i asked him if he had saw him, he said he had not. I went to all the places we go together an all the places he likes to go. I searched everywhere I could think of but obviously luck wasn't on my side.

I was headed back to the house when i though of one other place Rocky might be. I remembered that once last week we had gone to the train station and road up the tracks. I checked my watch; the train would have come about tree hours ago.

I dashed back the house as fast as I could. I found dad and explained to him where I thought Rocky might be. We got in the truck and dad drove us to the train station. When we arrive I jumped out of the truck and started searching for Rocky. Dad fallowed the tracks on way and I the other.

When I was about half a mile up the tracks, I saw something in the distance I couldn’t make it out very clear but I though it might possibly be him. I flew thought the distance between the things on the ground on the ground. When I was about tree meters away I realize i had found what I was looking for but not in the way I wanted to find him. I walked the rest of the distance between us, scared to see if what lied in front of me was alive or dead. I sat down, lad my head on his neck and started to cry, for I new that he was gone and coming back. As I sat bye my best friends side I was hoping and praying that, like my parents told me when I was little, all good horses do go to heaven.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 135);"> <span style="color: rgb(246, 9, 91);">This story was very interesting to me because it reminded me of a movie about a girl meeting a horse and being with it all the time! I thought it was creative and thought out well.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? <span style="color: rgb(246, 9, 91);"> I thought that this story could have had more length and detail to its plot. I liked the ending because you had to keep reading in order to see what had happened to the horse in the end. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? <span style="color: rgb(246, 9, 91);">Yes I think that these characters are life-like because the story creates a picture your mind. There is'nt any dialogue but there were actions of the characters. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? <span style="color: rgb(246, 9, 91);">There were few details in the story and if there was some detail, this story could have been great. You could have added some description of the horse when you found it and maybe the girl talking to the horse when they are alone. Maybe you could have added some dialogue with the father. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? <span style="color: rgb(246, 9, 91);">I really would wish the ending was more dramatic and detailed. If you ever write another version of this story ... definitely add dialogue and detail!