DM-Carley+S

Hello everyone, my name is Carley. I have brown hair, green eyes and braces. I am 12 years old and in the seventh grade. I'm tall for my age also, I am 5'4. At home I have one sister Kate, my parents, Bruce and Debbie and my pets, my dog Bailey and my cat Molly. I play two sports, Softball and volleyball. Right now I play on the school volleyball team. In the summer I play on a softball team. I really don't have a talent but I have many favortie things; I like to hang out with my friends, I like a few sports as i said, and i love reading. My favorite tv show is jon plus eight. I watch almost everyday. My favorite band is hedley. My good friend Bethany.L and I have loved them forever! I have seen two of there concerts in the past two years and they are amazing. My favorite book as many others is also twilight. I have many dislikes also, I don't like it when people bully, I dont like football, and the thing I hate the most hights i like my feet frimly planted on the grournd. My personalitly is many things combined, i am shy, clumsy, hard working, supportive, and at times crazy.That just a little bit about me.

-Carley __________________________________________________________________________________________________

When your trapped inside school mostly everyday of the week, everything starts to be the same. Nothing new yet nothing exciting ever happens. But today, I had a feeling it was going to be different, Because my friend Lily and I were going to have our first babysitting job. For my neighbors Cristy and Frank Moorehouse. They have two children Kalem and Gabrielle. Both of them being identical twins, and them being only two. On our way home from school, Lily told me she had to go visit her grandmother, and she couldn't do the babysitting job with me tonight. I didn't really make a big deal about it when I was around her, but inside I was scared to death. I had know idea what to think. I didn't really enjoy being home alone. I only was going to do this with Lily because she needed some help.

6:30 came, and it was time for me to make my way over to the Moorehouse's. I wasen't really all that nervous anymore seeing as whats the worst that can happen. What, maybe one of them will be sick. When I arrived, Mrs. Moorehouse said the children were at a friends and that they would be home soon. It was only fifteen shorts minutes after they left when the kids came home. The friends mom came over and whispered in my ear,

" good luck, there a handful!" thats when my heart started pounding. I thought to myself over and over again, Oh man.

Turns out when they sprinted in the doorway they were so tired from playing with there friend that they were asleep within the first ten minutes. I decided to just sit down and watch television for the next two hours until there mother and father came home. All of a sudden, there was a noise coming from outside. I got up carefully peaked with one eye out the slightly large window. There was not a sound in sight, so I went back to the chair to sit back down. I heard the noise again but it seemed to becoming closer, I decided not to move this time because there was nothing outside the last time surely there wouldn't be anything there this time. The next time, it sounded like it was directly on the window it sounded like a knock. For the second time, I slowly headed for the window. I opened it up with many doubts in my head in what i was doing. I opened, then i screamed at the top of my lungs so loud people in the other country probably could have heard me. It was Lily standing there in the pitch black in down poor with a huge grin on her face.

Surprisingly enough, my death tone scream didn't wake up the twins. I told Lily to come to the door. She explained to me how her grandma had gone away for the weekend and that now, she could help me babysit. We both sat down on the couch and began talking she asked me about what I had been doing. I told her about the creaking noises outside and she told me about this weird man who was sitting in her car at the end of the street watching kids walk by. When she had drove by she told me he was getting closer and closer. I asked her

" did you happen to see what house he was closest to?" She said

" the one with the white siding, and dark brown door. I thought to myself for a few minutes. Then all of sudden the noise was appearing again. I shot Lily a glare and she shot one right back at me. At this time it was also thundering and lighting. Lily whispered to me

" do you think we should look out to see what is happening?" I looked her and nodded my head. We started to the window for me this would be the third time. We tiptoed just a lightly as we could, and when we reached the window, I took the deepest breath in myself that I could. I had never been in a situation like this before. Lily and I, at the same time got a hold of the curtain and opened it I looked out and for the second time that night i screamed at the top of my lungs even loader then before. It was the man the one from down the street he has made his way up to the Moorehouse's.

The mans face was in the window. Lily and I looked at eachother and ran to hide. The man started pounding on the window, me and lily were terified. We didin't know what to do, this was my first time ever babysitting. It was in a matter of seconds when we heard the door rip open, and we ran for the kids. Suddenly i heard someone calling my name over and over and over again it was my teacher. I was still in class, none of that happened. Instead if babysitting tonight, maybe ill just stay home.

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? It is original 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The characters aren't amazing there good 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? They are a little lifelike 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?You should make more lightning  5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The last part should be ending better

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?