SO-Austin+P.


 * Introduction:** hello my name is Austin Phippen, I am a 12 years old and am a 6th grader at south middle school. I have many hobbys including hanging out with friends and playing street hockey with my friends. I play many sports such as hockey, soccer, football and golf (I golf just for fun tho). Hockey is my favorite sport infact I made an all wisconsin team this year. durring the regular season I play for my home team of the mustangs, this year I'm trying out to make the bantam A team. My favorite food would probably have to be shrimp or fish. My favorite subject in school is social studies because it easy. When I grow up I want to play in the NHL for the Colorado Avalanche they are my favorite team. My goals in life are to make varsity freshman year and maybe some day to be named Mr. Wisconsin hockey.

**Paste your story here:**
**The Mystery Of The Stolen hockey stick** = By: Austin Phippen = It was the quarterfinal game in the U.S junior tournament, and I was on fire. We were playing against the 5# ranked team, Sweden. It was in the late third period and I was in the middle of a scoring spree; I had already scored three goals and still counting. The score ended up being five to one after I rang one off the cross bar to shut the door. After the game I was met by a swarm of obnoxious reporters asking me questions like: how it felt to be the first kid in U.S.A juniors to score four goals in one game? And if I was worried about the amazing “Peter the great” (the brother of the biggest star in the NHL)? I did not answer one of the questions, but I did realize by one of the questions that I was the first player in the U.S.A juniors to score four goals in one game. That made me very proud and confident. As I walked into the looker room I was met by a handful of congratulations by almost everyone on my team obviously they have somehow found out the record I brook. Everyone was happy, but Charley. Charley is the kind of kid that always has to be the best and always has been back in the hometown league. But now he has not been standing out so much and getting to realize that he can not always be the best and that he can not get away with his fancy moves in such a big league. In the looker room I sat next to him because he was one of the only kids that I knew and was friends with. Charley did not say a single congratulation and only looked at me with an angry face. I thought that he was just mad because he did not score his usual ten goals and that he would soon get over it. After all the reporters were out of the looker room and most of my teammates I sat in my large wooden looker and thought for a moment. I thought about what had caused me to score so many goals. I came up with many different reasoning’s, but the one that sounded the most realistic was that my stick was lucky. First of all because It was a brand new warrior that had been used by one of the best in the NHL someone no other than my favorite defenseman, Rob Blake. Second, I had never played so good in my life, and I had never played that good before with my old stick. And lastly because it just felt like it had fit good in my hands and seemed to almost know what to do on its own with out me making it. That really had me persuaded that it was lucky, so I had to hide it in the looker room where no one could find it. So I looked all around and tried to find a place where no one would ever think to look. I tried the showers, no, to visible. I tried the stick rack so it would blend in with all the other sticks, no, someone might accidentally take mine. Then the tiny little light bulb went off in my head, I had found the perfect place. It was not at all visible and no one would ever even think to look there, that place was, on top of the lookers. I quickly double backed to check if any one was watching, but heard or saw nothing, so I quickly climbed my way up my looker and set the stick gently on top of the looker. At that same very moment I heard the door to the looker room open. Oh no I had nowhere to hide and I could not jump off the top of the looker I would break an ankle. I had no other option but to start climbing down slowly. As I was climbing down the unknown person who entered the looker room walked in, it was Charley. He had caught me dangling from the top of the looker. Within seconds he asked me a whole bunch of stupid questions like: What are you doing? Why are you still here? I thought for a moment and answered the first question as a lie by saying: Oh coach just told me to look up hear because he said all the other great players who played for U.S.A carved there names in the wood. Then he just responded with a simple okay but with a little bit of suspension to it. There was a long moment of silence as he stood there watching me struggle to get down. As soon as I got down, I broke the silence by asking him what he was doing in here. He said that supposedly my parents wanted me to hurry up, that was nothing new it seemed like every game charley came in afterwards to tell me to hurry up. But this time it was different he would have not have asked what I was doing in here if he knew I was there the whole time. That made me wonder what he was really coming in here for. I quickly changed the subject and told him I was ready to go. As we walked out to our parents I mentioned the whole record breaking thing just to see what he would say. As soon as I said it he threw me up against a wall and pined me there. He stared at me angrily for a few moments and then began to talk in a low voice with his teeth clinched. “You know what Phippen I know you know that I was always the best. But today for some reason you played like you were a whole different person. I know you are doing something because nobody, I repeat nobody comes out and scores five goals in one game that has only scored around ten in the whole season. I don’t know what it is yet but there is something you are doing or something your taking that is making you do this. All I’m saying is that you better stay out of my way because //I’m// the kid who scores five goals a game.” He ended his long what seemed like speech by jerking my head against the wall and storming away in the other direction.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author ? Haha great story austin! :p - Cole