CI-Riley

1001 Flat Tales Project

My Name: Riley Sisk My Age: 12 My Hometown: Pueblo Colorado My Hobbies: Sports My Favorites: I like to go shooting and hunting. Other things you should know about me: I get a’s and b’s in school and, i like to mess around in class My favorite band: is either black sabbith or guns n' roses Pet pieve: when people give fake complements.

Hi, my name is Bill. I am a 12 year old from a small town in the state of New Bourgenstien. We have a problem in the town of Steinberg. There is a lot of trash here. Some people just throw their trash down when they are done with it. Thankfully, we have a guy for that. His name is Janklemensburg, Bob Janklemensburg. Since he has such a huge last name, we call him Mr. J. Mr. J is our trash man, this a very important job because there is a lot of trash in our town. He also is our janitor at Townsmenshipness Middle School. He doesn’t like for there to be any trash in our school. I think that it was a big mistake for him to take the job to clean up our town, I mean our town is like huge. One man can’t do this himself. And it’s not like it is just in the gutters, it is everywhere. He is going to need a lot of help if he wants to clean up this town. I know Mr. J, him and my dad grew up together. He is a really hard worker, maybe the reason that he wants to clean up the town is because it was so clean back in the olden days. Everyone was nicer back then. I was sitting in my sixth hour class dozing off when, it happened. A huge gust of wind came. With the wind came a mountain of trash. The trash probably came from our neighboring snobby city, Greenburg they were a really rich city. They had always let their trash and polluted water come to our towns, but nothing like this, this was epic. Mr. J almost died when this happened. Everyone heard an “AAAAAAAH”! We could guess who that was. He came screaming in the room and looked out the window. “AAAAAAAAAAAAH”, Mr. J shrieked. “Man,” I said to my friend George, that would suck to be him right now. “yep,” said George. BRRRRRRRRINNG!!, there was the bell. “alright class, page 24 is do Monday,” my weirdo teacher Mr. Jefferson said. Seventh hour went by so fast, partly because I was thinking of the pile of trash Mr. J had to clean up, and partly because we had so much fun in seventh hour. As I was walking home from school George called “Billy, wait up.” We only lived two houses down from each other, so we usually walked home together. “ sorry,” I said, waiting for him to catch up, “I forgot about you.” I had forgot that we were going to go to the park and play catch after school. We really liked football, we both had played in a little kid league when we were little. This summer our school was going to have our first football team. George and I were going to try out. On the way to the park we were talking about Mr. J. we both wanted to do something to help, but Mr. J had already started hauling the trash away. We both knew that we wanted to help or wanted someone to help. That was kind of a lost cause. Two 12 year old kids can’t clean up the town. We needed a lot of people. But no one now would want to help. Throwing the ball to George, I said, “we need to come up with a plan.” “ya we do said George. Were gonna need a lot of people.” “hey,” said George, “don’t some people recycle? The town had really never recycled before. So they went to talk to Mr. J about it. He said it was a great idea. They could make new cups and plates and all kinds of stuff. Then, Mr. J asked the city counsel about it and they all agreed that it was a great idea. They got started right away. They brought these big dump trucks in to take the trash to a recycling plant. Since there was so much trash we could sell all the things that we could make. We began selling our stuff to all the other 50 states. We made so much that Greensburg looked poor. We weren’t snobby like them though. We spent our money smartly. That’s how we got where we are today. 
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1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Your plot is good because you help to let people know how recycling can help. I liked that you put in that the boys wanted to help the janitor and found a way to do it.
 * Starting - March 29 (2009): **

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The problem is that there is way too much trash in the town and you made it easy to understand how it was affecting people. You could add that the janitor is getting sick or something so the town has to work together to recycle and clean up.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The characters are very life life and believable because you used things that boys would do in real life like dozing off in class or throwing around a football. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? When you used the quotes to say what they were saying it helped make a picture for the story. You could also use metaphors to explain how messy the town is. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? A lot of short stories begin with, "Hi my name is..." You could change the beginning a little bit by introducing the character in a different way. A friend could be shouting his name or something.

Technical Details
1. Punctuation, grammar, word choice.
 * Starting - April 19 (2009): **

The Alien King's Decision
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?
 * Starting May 3 (2009): **

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, " this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. 