SO-Collin+W.

**Introduction:**
My name is Collin, as you can see. I am from the U.S.A. I like Polar Bears but any bear is good I also like Football, Basketball and Tennis. My favorite place I've ever been is either the Green Bay Packer stadium (Wisconsin's football team) or the Georgia Aquarium. I want to be a doctor or a football player on the Green Bay Packers. My favorite food is pizza hut pizza.

Parry the Polar Bear By: Collin Webster Parry lives in an igloo with his mom, Tina, and other brother named Matt. They are all obviously polar bears; these polar bears live in the arctic which is not much but windy, white and snowy places. One day Parry and Matt went outside to play a game. (It’s like hide and seek) So Parry stared counting. “One, two, three, four…” all the way to ten. So Parry started to look for Matt he was calling and roaring while he was trying to find Matt. Just when Parry was about to give up he heard a yell for help. He ran to go see what it was and it turns out it was Matt! Parry asked “What’s wrong Matt?!” Matt answered “I slipped and fell on a sharp chunk of ice and my paw is bleeding and I can’t walk.” “Stay there I’ll go get mom!” Shouted Parry. So Parry ran to go get his mom, and when he finally got to her he told her everything. Then Parry and his mom were running back to where Matt was. “Help! Help!” Shouted Matt in terror. “Stay here.” Said Tina. So Parry sat back and watched as his mom went to go save his brother. She made it there easily it was coming back that was the problem. As she inched her way back with Matt there was a crack. Then Matt and his mom had to move faster, right as Matt got to safety the ice cracked and now their mom was in the water. She knew what she had to do she just had to get to the edge of the ice but before she could get any closer she felt a tug on her leg. “What was that?” Matt asked scared like. “I don’t know.” Said Perry. “I do,” said there mom nervously, “get back from the edge hurry.” “Why?” Matt and Parry asked. “Because it’s an orca!” shouted Tina. Then as they both backed up they saw their mom go under the ice and then they just waited and waited for their mom to come out of the water. One day later they decided that she was dead. They didn’t know what to do or how to hunt, they couldn’t do anything a polar bear should be able to do. Because the day their mother died she was going to show them how to hunt and catch prey. Matt was a little older than Parry and watched his mom hunt at a breathing hole for seals so he kind of knew how hunt. Two days after their mother’s death. Matt tried to hunt it looked easy because all you have to do is stand still until a seal comes out to breath, but Matt isn’t the most patient polar bear [D1]   right as Matt gave up and left he heard a splash behind him and he saw a seal jump for air and disappear into the dark cold ocean. “Well if I was a little more patient I could’ve caught a seal.” Matt said sadly “It’s okay we’ll find something tomorrow.” Perry said. “We should head towards land soon,” Matt said, “before the ice breaks up.” “How about tomorrow.” Perry said. So the next day Matt and Perry went towards land. They were having trouble moving because they were just about out of energy. “I’m so hungry.” Moaned Perry. “So am I but we’ll just have to wait until we reach land.” Matt said while he was gasping for air. After a long time walking Perry noticed something. “Hey,” Perry said excitedly, “what’s that?” Matt looked over at Perry and he was pointing to a big lump that was sticking out of the ice. “Land!” Shouted Matt. He shouted so loud that it just about knocked Perry off his feet. “A little louder I don’t think they herd you in China!” Perry shouted. But that didn’t matter because Matt was already way ahead of him. “Hey wait up!” shouted Perry. Perry finally caught up to Matt but he looked disappointed. “What’s the matter?” Perry asked. “Does land move?” Matt asked. “WH-What,” Perry stumbled, “what are you talking about?” “Look.” Said Matt. As Perry looked towards the lump it slowly started to move. “What is it?” asked Perry. “You know those big floating things mom told us about?” Matt said. “Yeah, so?” “I think that’s what it is.” So instead of reaching land they only caught up to a fishing ship. Perry said, “We have to reach land soon.” “Well for now let’s just try to sleep; maybe we’ll get to land tomorrow.” Matt said. Unfortunately during the night there was a blizzard and all they had for cover was each other. “You still alive, Perry?” Matt said. “Yeah.” “Good, because were going to walk awhile today.” “Great.” Once again they walked and walked until Perry was out energy. “I have to eat something now.” Perry said. “Fine stay here I’ll go and try to find something to eat.” Fortunately there was a breathing hole about six feet away. “Okay just stay patient and I can do this.” Matt said to himself. After waiting and waiting for what seemed like days a seal pop up and Matt lunged at the seal. He felt his teeth sink into warm flesh that’s when he just ripped his head up and after fighting it for awhile he finally pulled the dead seal onto the ice. “You did it!” Perry said happily. “Let’s eat.” Matt said. After eating the seal they moved on. “That was a good seal.” Perry said. “Yeah it was pretty good.” “Maybe you could teach me how to do that.” It wasn’t until the next day that they came up to land. “Hey Matt,” “Yeah.” “Is that land or just another floating thing?” “Hey! That is land and it’s not moving!” As they made their way towards the land they felt so happy. When they got there they noticed something different about this land there was big metal things on round rubber. Then they were tackled by something and when they woke up they saw other polar bears and things that only had two legs instead of four. “Where am I?” Perry said. “It’s called a zoo.” A deep voice said. “What’s a zoo?” “It’s a place were people take care of us.” “I guess I could live here then.” Just as Perry said that a person came out and gave him seal. “Oh yeah I can live here.”

 [D1] It’s Ironic

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.) Hey, Nice Story!!!! : ) ~Kami 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?