Vincent

**Siblings:1 brother (gone)**
 * Hi, my name is Vincent DiMele **
 * Grade:7**
 * Best Holiday:Christmas **
 * Birth Month:July **
 * Career Goals:Archeologist **
 * Favorite Song(s):All the above **
 * Favorite Food:Pasta **
 * Favorite Snack:Pizza freits **
 * Favorite soft drink: Dr. Pepper **
 * Favorite Subject: Health **
 * Pet Peeve:Homework **
 * Pets:no pets **

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Willows Power

Chapter 1

One day Willow was hiding in a tree as he always does trying to find someone to scare with his powers to hide in willow trees he does this because he nothing else to do and is bored most of the time so he finds this exciting. This power is not cool and serves no purpose now until later. Blade my ninja like brother was watching Green who is also my brother and has the power to grow plants food etc plant in his greenhouse while Shift my brother who does not like me that can turn into any animal or object was running around as a Wolf around the tree I was in. Shift finally bit the tree and I popped out holding my leg from the bite and Shift said “stop fooling around and help Green plant he said the tulips were hard to grow so go help him”. I mumbled and limped over to help Green. Green was mumbling about how the tulips wouldn’t grow so I said “So do I need to help you” he said “yes get a pale of fertilizer and some water from the well”. I got his water and walked away to go to my tree then disaster struck. Shift started acting weird and turned into a fish and swam in the pond and was screaming. Blade was holding his head and moaning then disappeared into thin air (like usual) and Greens fruit spoiled as he turned to dirt on the ground. I did not know what was happening then a black cloud appeared and struck the town and everyone had massive unbearable headaches and passed out from the pain. I was unaffected and did not know why. Then Blade appeared and tried to strike me with his sword and said “destroy the unaffected”. Then Shift and Green returned and kept on chanting the same thing then I ran away to another Willow tree and went in. They passed by me looking for me then went to town.

Chapter 2

I decided to go after them but then a bright light came to me and I felt weird like a surge going through me. I then held out my hand and I shot a beam out of my hand and it hit Blade and he got knocked out and then returned to normal. He disappeared and came into the Willow tree and thanked me and went to knock out Shift and Green and it worked then they returned to normal and said I had the power to unleash a light to demolish any power and cancel out the storm cloud. They knew this because our dad had died before I was born and had the same power and I had inherited it from him. So I had unleashed the force of light and demolished the cloud and felt weak and passed out. I awoke in our house and was thanked by my brothers and went to sleep.

Questions for Peer Reviewers

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? Anya- I think it is really original but it is really short and you don't really use your space to express your thoughts. You should expand on it. It is a bit to basic. What is K.O'd? 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? You really need to describe your problem because it is really To straight forward. I cant even tell what is happening. There is just too much going on here. Add more details I mean not just "So I had unleashed the force of light and demolished the cloud and felt weak and passed out", But maybe "I took a step back trying to excelerate myslef to throght a massive ball of light And soon the cloud, so dark and misty, vanished into thin air. I felt myself falling but it was all happening to fast. Thud I dropped to the hard ground weak and passed out."

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The personality of the main character is hard to see. The characters personality changes to fast as if the person is changing. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? There is very limited discription in his story so I don't really see the setting.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The legnth and sentence structure. You more words and metaphors or similies.