TM-Chloe

Hey, my name is Chloe Olivia Greene. I’m 12 years old, and my birthday is February 7th. I’m in the sixth grade at Timberlane Regional Middle School. I was born in Revere, Massachusetts, but now I live in Plaistow New Hampshire. I love sports, but my favorites would have to be, bike riding, swimming, and basketball. I would have to say my favorite seasons are summer and fall. I have 2 older sisters named Carolann (19) and Catherine (15) but we call her Katie. The 2 places I have always wanted to go are, Ireland, and Spain. Even though I have no Spanish relatives, but that’s okay. My favorite food would have to be Lasagna. My best friends name is Renee Lynne Gallant. Then my 3 closest friends are Leeanne Standke, Danielle Foley, and John-Lucas Varney. Listening to music on my iPod is the best thing in the world. There an iPod is a music play (it holds music). I love to be with my friends 24/7. My favorite song is anyone else but you- from the Juno soundtrack. I text a lot! I love the computer and TV. My favorite subjects are Math, and Social studies. My favorite color is dark green. I like to be outside, and I LOVE THE GRASS. But I have no reason why. I have one cat named Nala. She’s extremely shy, tiny, and loves to run. My favorite movies are, The Bucket list, Twilight, Pretty in Pink, 16 candles, The Breakfast club, and Superstar. I would rather have a sunny/rainy day. Or just a sunny and hot day. I love to climb trees, and do things other people are scared to do. Doing things that people are scared to do it more fun because it’s just like a new adventure. My favorite animal is either a dog, or a sugar glider. A sugar glider is a squirrel like animal with HUGE eyes, and it glides in the air. It can’t fly but it glides. Sorry if that doesn’t make since, but if you’re really interested in learning out them, then look the up. Well I guess that’s all you need to know about me for now. So byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (= Your new friend, Chloe Olivia Green e

Our Story:

By: Chloe Greene and Ally Heffernan

__ Five Years Ago __

Chapter one: The Crash Today was the day that Hannah decided to run away. And if you only knew her story, you would too. Let’s take a look back 5 years ago; she was living happily with her mother, father, and older brother Jordan. But it seems it all went away before she could even blink. Hannah was in her little suburban house with her Aunt Sarah, when we saw the news about an extremely recent plane crash. When Hannah saw the pictures, her heart stopped. Since Hannah had just remembered that her parents and older brother where on a plane heading home from her brothers college graduation in Boston, Massachusetts. They where suppose to arrive at 6:15 at California International, but they never showed. That night she got the call that ruined her life. Hannah felt sick to her stomach; it almost felt like it was just a horrible prank. She first thought she was getting “Punked”, but when they never came home she got the picture. Hannah moved out the next day, and had to live with her alcoholic Aunt Sarah.

Chapter two: Running Scared

Hannah hated even being with Aunt Sarah, never mind living with her. The first night she was here, Hannah bawled her eyes out. Hannah’s tears ran down like razor blades, she went to the bathroom to make sure she wasn’t bleeding. That morning was also the first day of school. Hannah’s alarm rang twice, before her Aunt Sarah screamed “Wake up!” Hannah felt like dying, for two reasons, 1 to be with her family, and 2.so she wouldn’t have to indoor her alcoholic aunt and Aunts abusive boyfriend. The alarm rang again, this was the fourth time, now Hannahs Aunt was drunk and yelled “Wake up!” but she was slurring. When Hannah realized that if she woke up Dave (her boyfriend) she would be in really big trouble, so she got up, put her clothes on, and ran out the door. Hannab pretty much sprinted down the block, because she didn’t want her aunt to chase her, knowing she probably did wake up Dave. As Hannah was running, She noticed this strange boy in the distance. He had the most craziest hair I think I’ve ever seen. It was wild red, and curly; and his skin was the most whitest I ever saw! But I ignored it, and just kept running. When I reached the school, I saw him again. But this time he was with his group of friends, he had a lot of friends. This reminded me of the times I had in California Public, I was always home coming queen, and most popular. Instead of going up to introduce myself, I just went threw the big bronze doors.

Chapter Three: The Boy

First thing I did was go to the front office, so I could get my locker, and its number. Strangely the receptionist was a man, not a woman. I asked for my locker, and its combination; he then told me that my locker number was 576, and it was the light green one; and my combo was 10-7-9. After that I walked down the hall, and there he was, the odd red headed boy. All I could do is stare at him, as I walked, I still looked at him. Before I could even say “yooo” I slammed into a locker, with a BIG BAM I was down. When he saw me on the floor, he laughed and walked away. “You jerk!” I yelled. When he heard me, he looked back and stared dead in the face. All I could think was “Oh my god, why and how could I do this?!” What a great way to make a first impression. I got up and continued to walk down the hall to my locker. When I got there, I saw my locker buddy. The first word that came out of her mouth was “HEY LOCKER BUDDIE!” I was pretty astonished when she said this, considering the reaction from weirdo over there. But I just said “hello”, then got my stuff and went to period 1 math. Are you serious!? He’s in my math class too. I sat in the front left, as he sat in the back right. When I walked in, I saw was his face drop to the floor, like he was saying “oh my god” but I just ignored it. After Period 1 I decided to ask what his deal was. Bad thing was, I didn’t even know his name.

“Hey, you, the one with the odd hair; I need to ask you a question.” “Oh great you, what do you want?” “Why are you such a jerk to me?” “You’re just odd, you seem like you belong in a mental institution.” “You hit it right on the head.” “What do you mean?” “My family died in a plain crash, so I am a little messed up, and I do go to therapy.” “Oh, I’m sorry, I really am.” “You know what, your not sorry, I just now it.” “So just stop preteanding you do, and leave me alone.” “But…” “No, she done with him, and this terribole town.”

The day seemed to drag on, and on. When Hannah was in math class, she sat with Chlesea mayberry. She was normal, average, nothing special. They sat at the same table, she was nice. She helped me understand pye. By the end of last period, she was about ready to hop out of her seat. The bell went “ring” and she ran out of there so fast, she made a jack rabbit look like a snail.

Chapter Four: The Arrival

As Hannah arrived home, she noticed, that her aunt wasn’t drunk, sleeping on the couch. Instead she wasn’t home. Dave was home, half asleep. Talking, pactically yelling in his sleep. Saying “Leave, or the hammers coming out,” Whatever that ment. Hannah ignored it, and left quietly out the door. She desided to go the town park. Hannah saw the swings, and got a flash back. The flash back was of her mother and father pushing her on the swing, while she was still little, and her mother was pregnant. She blinked and the flash back was gone. Hannah began to cry, soft tears. She sat on the swing, and began to pump her feet. The strange red headed boy saw her and ran into the park.

“Hannag whats wrong?” he asked. “My life is over!” Hannah replied. …, a long pause erupteded. “My entire family died in a plane crash, and she was a dimwit for not going to Boston for her older brother Jordans college graduation.” “You must not blame yourself.” “I feel as if I have no choice.” “I need to get out of here; I now live with my drunken aunt, and drunken abusive boyfriend.” “I could get you out of here if you’d like.” “How?” “my father owns an airline, I could get you out of here for free, I know my family would say yes.” “then lets go.”

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? you have an orginal plot.
 * nice job the setout was great.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
 * There was alot of action which was good.


 * The characters was very enjoyable and life-like.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you // see // and // hear // and // experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
 * The details was great i could picture it in my head.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? you could make it more like a story. > > >
 * at the moment you should try to add not as much talking, but still good.