VV+Chelsea

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Hi my name is [|Chelsea]. I am not really into sports except for Hockey and Basket Ball. I like to write songs and I love to sing them too. My favorite animal is a Wolf and my favorite color is purple. I love to hang out with my friends they are so awesome and they know who they are. I like nascar like [|Boyd], and my favorite nascar driver is [|Dale Jr].===== **// Hurt //** Dad had to go to work for a whole week. He told me he didn’t want me to stay home alone, and said I had to go find a hotel to stay in. I didn’t know where to go, there was only a couple of hotels around town…Hurt!

I was wandering the streets, and I saw a hotel I could stay in for a while.

“Hello.” The lady at the counter said to me. She sounded as if she didn’t want to be hear right know.

“Hi, I need a room please.” I was so tired I really needed some sleep. I had no idea what I was going to eat for dinner or breakfast.

“Right this way please.” She was wearing a thin blue jacket that fell down to her knee’s, and white jeans that got smaller to the heals. She had short black hair that curved into her neck.

I walked into the room. In the room it had a small bed and a bathroom with a toilet, sink and bath tub with a shower.

“Thanks.” I told her as she quickly walked out of the room. It was really obvious she didn’t want be anywhere near the hotel.

I was in so much pain. I had no parents around cause…well, dad was at work and I didn’t have a mom…Hurt! That’s two now I have been hurt twice this day and someone else tells me…Hurt! There it goes again! Err!

It was 9:00 am. I woke up in a daze. My hair was very messy; I had long pants and a T-shirt on for bed, my eyes were half open. I was so dizzy. I jumped up out of the bed and walked slowly to the bathroom. I grabbed a little green face cloth off of the small rack. I out the plug in the sink, unfolded the face cloth, turned on the warm water and splashed some onto my face…it woke me right up. I brushed my hair and teeth, put on some jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I grabbed my purse, locked the door to my room and walked down the hallway.

When I got outside I looked around to find some place to get some food for breakfast. I saw two places I could go; Wendy’s or McDonalds, I asked myself. I knew what I was going to go for right away. I walked slowly towards Wendy’s and then looked up and saw… Hurt! Err! It’s only McDonalds no Wendy’s just McDonalds. If I couldn’t go to Wendy’s where would I go…Hurt! Well, I can’t wait to see what will “HURT” next.

To Be Continued…

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I think your plot isn’t that original but I like how you described things in the story. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? It was interesting that you had to stay in a hotel when your parents were gone Just to not stay alone. I think there wasn’t a climax in your story because it said ‘to be continued’ I think you could add some more details and change to be continued to just a long story that have longer paragraphs and climax in. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I don’t really get when you said ‘hurt’ but others were good. It was kind of enjoyable and likable but I don’t get some parts. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I think you put some great details, I like how you described your face in the morning and I think you could put some more details on the introduction 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I think your paragraphs were too short like introduction and so on so I think you could make it longer next time not like one line paragraph ISKL Brian Im