ISKL+Maddie

Introduction
Meet Me

Story Name: A walk to the mall

"So all I have to do is tell you a story?" I asked in utter shock that they haven't killed me off yet. "That's right, Human." The Alien leader said with a slight look of agitation. "OK! It was a hot summer day and I was on my way to the worlds tallest towers, the Petronas Towers, with my friend Kate to see the city from a birds eye view.To get to the towers from my house you have to cross though the enormous park. This particular day the park was rather full. We walked though the giant tree trunks and swerved past the joggers. I looked up to find the bluest sky have every seen. It was perfect almost too perfect. I saw dark clouds off in the distance. Oh no, rain. I had forgotten my umbrella. "Hey Kate can you hold my purse while I go get an umbrella?" I asked "Sure!" Kate reply-ed "Thanks, stay right here and I'll be right back!" I started off in a sprint when I heard a scream. I turned around to see Kate with fear in her face as she watched the thief run off with my purse. I ran after the purse snatcher. When I caught up with them I punched them in the stomach and turned to Kate to tell her everything was OK but as I did that the snatcher ran off and was gone within seconds. I looked down and found a brochure with a picture of the International Airport. Now Kate and I knew where the thieves were headed next. We knew exactly what the other where thinking. We were determined to track them down, and so the adventure began....

"Kate we have to find that purse there is 1434 ringgits and a gold brick." "Why would you have that much money in your purse." said Kate. "I don't know I'm rich I don't count my money before I put it in my purse." We got to the street and called a taxi. "We need to go to the airport please." "Alright." while in the taxi I talked to Kate about what we are going to do. "When we get there, we need to track them down." "Right," Kate said."We need to tell security to look for them too." We got out of the taxi and ran into the airport. We went up to a cop and asked him to see the surveillance cameras and he asked why. "My purse was stolen and there was a brochure that told us he could have came here." Said Kate. "I will check for you said the security guard," Can you tell me what they look like?" "Yes, they had blue jackets on and there hoods up, thats all we saw." "Let me check." "We had two males that came in and purchased tickets to go to Memphis Tennessee. "Has the plane left yet?" asked Kate. "I'm sorry it left 15 minutes ago." said the Officer. "How can we get there?"...

I thought for a moment. "I have an idea!" I told Kate. "What?" "We can ride to Memphis Tennessee, In a private Jet!!!" " And where are we going to get a private jet?" Kate asked with a face of confusion. "I bet my Dad can rent one! One second can I borrow your phone?" "Sure." She reached into her pocket and gave me her pink nokia and handed it to me. "Thanks!" I quickly dialed my dad's number and let it ring. "Hello Millers recidence." the maid answered. "Hey Dasiy. is Brian there?" "Yes, one second." I gave Kate a smile and said he is there."Hello." "Hello Bri- I mean Dad" "Oh hi Maddie! Why did you call?" "I kinda need to rent a jet." "WHY?" I took a deep breath and began to exsplain. "You see this one guy stole my purse and is going to Memphis Tennessee, but the plane already left so Kate and I can't get there in time unless we use a jet." I ended with a sigh. " Ok I guess I'll get you one and it'll be there soon. But make sure to get home for dinner." "Okay Dad I will. Take care and thank you." I clicked the end button and gave the phone back to Kate."What did he say?" " He said that the jet will be here in a minute!" "Yay! We're going to Memphis! I wonder who we'll find there?"...

We went to the terminal and waited for the jet. We boarded the plane and the flight attendant asked us if we wanted any food or drink. "Sure," I said "Can you make us some pizza?" "Right away mam" She said. Kate said "OMG this is so cool." "I know I responded!" The flight was very long. We slept for about 6 hours until the plane had a sudden shake. "What was that?" I asked "Nothing probably." There was another shake. We began to get scared. "It feels like the plane going up." We both ran to the window to look out side. "Whoa look up!" I said. There was a light. The plane kept getting closer and closer. My ears started to pop. All of a sudden we blacked out. We woke up what seemed like a couple hours later. I started to look around and I saw Kate and the pilots knocked unconscious. I yelled "Help!" "What is it, what's wrong?" Every thing was quiet for one moment then I heard something... "492664539565023765 0936569366955474545756649 5563956305645961237847554855485 77577567768808967343835457," something said in a robot like voice. " I saw Kate and she was getting up off the ground. "Kate are you ok" I asked. "Yes," Kate answered weakly. "What was that, where are we, am I dreaming?" I asked...

"I don't know! One second we were on the plane and on our way to Memphis and now were here...or what ever this place is!" I said very frusterated. I could tell that Kate was scared so I took action and began to calm her down. "But we shouldn't worry my dad will find out we aren't were we should be and send a search party to find us." I said and gave a sad attempt at a smile. I knew that my words had encourage Kate but it hadn't worked on me. I ran over to the pilot and made sure they were ok. "Kate your mom went to doctor school right and had books at your home about doctor stuff, right?" "Yeah, why?" " Did you happen to read any of those books?" "Yep" "The pilot doesn't have a pulse!"..,.

PEER REVIEW (Saint Michael)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see//  and  //hear//  and  //experience//  the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?