CI-Austin

1001 Flat Tales Project

My Name: Austin Thompson My Age: 13 & a 1/2 My Hometown: pueblo, co My Hobbies: play soccer and play the piano, i also like basketball, lacross, football. Favorite Band: my favorite band is The Killers and black violin ( fav song is spaceman). M y pet peev: wen people try to make your mom joke and spiderman and fanboys. My Favorites: my favorite food is enchiladas, my favorite sport is football.Other things you should know about me: I’m a great soccer player I travel a lot for soccer and for vacation. I also love football I play for my middle school team. I play the piano and I am ok at it. My favorite Tv show is Lost. My best friends are Mak, Cody, Justin, jenette, and Daniel. i hate ice cream. i love shoes( mostly converse). my favorite thing to do wen im bored is play video games. my favorite color is blue. my favorite soccer team is rangers fc. i dont know y this is under my favs but i hate the shift key on computers. i love root beer its my favorite soda ever its amazing.

**__My Story __**__ (Paste Here) __  ( the end of my story isnt done. if u have a good ending please suggest :) Warsaw, Poland 1944 The world is ever so changing people die every day due to the German war machine. The Russians Americans and British fight to stop it. Lutenant Petivco move out in 2100 hrs. sir I am short on supplies and men we cant move out. You can and you will. Johnson, bigondon, mivelt, load up we move out. The soilders of assult squad 23 had just got back from the struggle to hold warsaw. 3 hours after they loaded up they were maching through the forest of Poland. Lutenant petivco is tiered and is mad at the world he has lost everything in this war his family home and life. As he is talking to sergeant. Rezcov, he hears something. “soilders get down.” Suddenly out of the bushes came 30 or so nazi soilders. The germans yelled for the men to put there guns down. Petivco and his men listened and droped there guns. Next they were told to line up single file. Then lutenant petivco was taken out of the line and told to walk 8 miles to the town of Nuchant. He began to walk. About 3 hours later he was stoped by a man in a long trench coat and a hat, a nazi hat petivco asked the man if he was going to be killed. The man replied and said no. then petivco asked it must be the hat that fooled you. He said,” I’m not a nazi I was and then I saw what happens other than fighting I have seen a camp and they are horrible, so I diserted the army.” Petivco was surprised he had never met a nice german. He asked wat his name was. The man replied colonel stigervault. Stigervault took the man to his home in nuchant. The town was small and was filled with life. Petivco had never seen a town like this one. It had people and no soilders. The two men had a good dinner as the talked at the table colonial stigervault said I know how to get your men back. For weeks the men planed and secretly watched the Nazi camp. Lut. Petivco’s men were all separated and starving. The people in the camp looked horrible. Every day the two men watched the grew a stronger hatred for the nazi war machine. 2 months after the two men met they were going to break the men out of the camp. That night the dug there way under the fence. The barracks the soilders were in was at the end of a long dirt path. Finally they broke the men out they were very thin and they had not eaten in days. They led the men to the hole they had dug to get in. then they were spotted the germans opeanen fired on the men they ran and hid in a wheat field. The Nazis burned the men out of the field. Two men were burned to death the Nazis chased the men into the woods not to far from the village. The men attemted to fight the germans the small skirmish was ended quick and and the Russian soilders were killed.

 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I like your plot and I think that it was a good idea to write about World War II. However, you could have added more historical facts to make the plot more detailed and interesting.
 * Starting - March 29 (2009): **

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? There are many problems and suspense in the plot, but the story is too short. You could add more details and dialogue. Also, the ending should be changed.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the characters own actions? The reader is not given much insight into the character's personality. You should add dialogue and more details to show the stress and pressure the Lieutenant feels during the war.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see // and //hear // and //experience // the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? The reader cannot experience the story through the main character's point of view. Even though you have details, you need more.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? You need to check your grammar, but overall your short story is good.

Technical Details
1. Punctuation, grammar, word choice.
 * Starting - April 19 (2009): **

The Alien King's Decision
1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no, why not?
 * Starting May 3 (2009): **

2. Be specific, try not to merely write, “this was good", instead explain what was good about it and why.

3. Nominate "Hall of Fame" stories. 