SMS+Group+5

=SMS Group 5=

Introductions
Meet Brigid Meet Tiffany

Story
Wally Feeds the Poor

Wally was fifteen years old. He was tall for his age, had brownish-reddish hair and had blue eyes. He was very concerned about the issue of World Hunger and he wanted to make a difference, but people always told him that he was too young. Many people believed that just one person could not make a difference. Wally lived in Colorado, so there was not much he could do for the people without food in the world. One day, Wally got a letter from his aunt saying that she just signed up for the Peace Corp, and that she was excited to be helping other people.

When Wally got his aunt's message, he got very excited. He wanted to sign up, so he went to the local Red Cross and signed up. A few weeks of training later, Wally got his first assignment. He was supposed to start a food drive and gather as much food as possible to send to a hungry village in Africa. The next day, Wally went to the supermarket and set up his stand. At the end of the day, he had over a hundred boxes and cans of food. It was a good amount, but not enough to feed everyone.

After he went back to the Red Cross station, he asked if he could do the same project again. They all agreed and Wally was back at the supermarket again. This time he collected more than three times the amount of food than the last time. The next afternoon, Wally asked if he could try something else. Wally said that if he had the training he could go to the village that they were helping at the time and bring them the food. After some serious contemplating they called Wally and told him that he had to wait a few years until he was older. Wally was very upset, he wanted to do more than run a food drive. After that Wally didn't go to any of the meetings for the Peace Core for a few weeks. One day his mom told him that he had to go back to the Peace Core. After a few more years of hard work in the Peace core he was finally old enough to go help his aunt in Africa. He had to go through very hard training to be able to go.

Another few months later Wally completed his training and was off to Africa. He did not enjoy the flight because he was so nervous. As soon as he got off the plane his aunt came up to him and gave him a big hug and said thanks for coming then took him back to the Peace Core station and gave him speech on how to help people and what to do in case of an emergency. The next day Wally showed his food donations to the workers, and they were very excited. They said that all the food couldn't feed the whole village but it would be a good amount to feed most of the village. He was very proud of himself, he knew that he had helped a lot of people.

After a busy summer of working with the people who needed him, it was time for Wally to go home. At first he was sad to be leaving, but he was homesick and couldn't wait to be in his own house. The next day he was all packed and almost ready to leave, but he couldn't leave without saying goodbye to everyone he worked for. After doing so, he was off to the airport and on his way home. Eventually, after a long trip back to Colorado, Wally started helping people in his own state.

Tiffany and Brigid. 7A and 7B

PEER REVIEW

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? It is very oringinal, I have no changes for the author.

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? Yes the character is concerened about World Hunger.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? yes the characters are enjoyable and likeable. Yes I did get a good decription, dialouge, and narrator's opinion.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Yes i hear and experience the story. That the story was longer because it was so good.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? The last paragraph because you need to be telling how you helped the kids and the country( my dad is from Africa).

PEER REVIEW (group 2) 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? The plot is creative. 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? The problem is good, but there needs to be more complications and suspense. Maybe instead of the people saying yes right away to him you should have a time period where they think about and he has to come up with ways to convince him. There could also be a conflict while he is in Africa. Everything comes to easy for him.

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? You introduced the character well and gave us a image of him, but we were not able to connect with his feeling through out the story.

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? You can see the character well, but that is about it. You need to explain about Africa and the people he is helping. We as readers were not able to experience what he experiences.

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? You have a good idea and good start, but you need more details. Focus on events and explanations so the reader can picture your story as it is happening. Also make more suspenseful.

media type="custom" key="3613029"