ISKL+Daniel

** Introduction:**
Include some or all of the following, as well as a link to your blog: first name, what you like to do in and out of school, favourites (food, sport, hobby, TV show, video game, etc.), places visited, future plans, claim to fame.

 

**Paste your story here:**
On the outskirts of this peaceful fishing town the ambush awaited the Raiders. They raided the fishing towns freely, with barley being opposed. Stealing and burning and killing and then just disappearing back out to sea. But not tonight, because this little town was prepared for an attack, the day before, just to be careful the fighters from the town sent scouting ships out to see if there was any danger out to sea. They had come back with news of the Raiders heading towards the town. “Are the archers ready kid?” The commander asked the commander of the archers. The commander was in his mid thirties, he was only a bit younger than the commander, but he was still treated as a younger brother and yet, he didn’t seem to mind. “Yes, they’re stationed where they have a clear view of any incoming ship. They also have a clear shot so they won’t be able to hit that crazy swordsman of yours.” He smiled at the commander to show he meant no insult. “Good.” The commander replied, ignoring the pun. Then they saw the ship coming, “Here they come.” Said the commander and went to where the swordsmen were waiting. The commander of the archers picked up his recurve bow, and went to where the archers were doing the same.

7 minutes later…

Bows drawn, eyes focused, the archers listened for the command. There it was, “and… Shoot!! WISP! Draw……and… Shoot!!..... Aim at the mast! At the mast!” The commander of the archer’s desperately bellowed. The small group of archers moved their aim to the mast of the ship, waited for the next impending command. “And…Shoot!!! Shoot!!!” A dozen fire arrows were seen from the raider’s ship, heading straight towards the mast. THUD, went the arrows as they slammed into the wooden mast of the ship and the fire started. Before the ruthless raiders could jump to off the boat to attack the small fishing town, they were stunned to see their mast in flames, then to be smashed by another volley of arrows, wounding at least 10 of the 40 that were on the ship. The raiders usually just landed on the beach for a head on attack, then grab the supplies for the town, burn a few fishing boats and then sail back into the mist of the dark nights. This could be a real battle, the captain of the ship thought. These raiders were trained to steal burn and kill. Not to actually fight a battle. They didn’t even have the element of surprise with them. And there was about 40 swordsmen, plus the archers. Then a plan started to form in the captain’s mind…

After the 5th volley had gone by, the heavy-muscled swordsmen saw that the raiders were slowly dropping to land, cowering behind their shields for the fear that another devastating volley would come. Seizing this moment of confusion, they drew their swords, shining like 40 massive teeth of some horrific animal, and went to attack. When the swordsmen started to charge towards the vicious raiders, the commander knew they had made a mistake. Of course the raiders knew that there would be no more archer fire once they set foot on land, they were planned for this to happen. But when he called for them to stop it was already too late. The raiders had formed a line and prepare to unleash their rage against the people who had burnt the vital part of their ship. As soon as the swordsmen came within reach, they let there massive broadswords lose, cutting down at least 5 swordsmen before they had even drew their swords back to attack.

Unnoticed by both sides, the archers prepared for one last volley, one that would surly turn the tide of battle. The raiders were still in their line so that meant that the archers could get to up the hill right in front of the town and have a clear view of everyone in the fighting. “Sir! I have an idea that could lead us to win!” one archer said to the commander of the archers. “If we can reach the hill, we might be able to shoot down the surviving raiders before they lose there line. The remaining raiders on the ship would surly have to retreat after that.” “Good idea, lets do it.” The commander of the archers replied.

From the bow of the burning ship, the captain watched the battle closely. Then, all of a sudden 3 lightning-fast volleys shot down the remaining Raiders in the battle. The only words the captain could think of was; “Oh no….” He had no idea that these people were so ruthless in battle. Those volleys could have killed half the swordsmen as well. Then he saw the archers’ vantage point, the hill. “Retreat!!! Get the ship away!!! We’ve lost this battle.” He bellowed at the remaining crew on the ship. “Sir the mast-“ one raider started. “There’s enough wind to get us out of here, get moving!” “Aye captain.”

After that bloody night that battle became a great legend used by the fishing towns in that area. And after that bloody day, no more fishing towns were raided, never again.

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? The plot was realy well. It was carefully made. This is Daniel C by the way. It was original and had good details. It was interesting but I do not know much about archery 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? This story left me hungry for more. It realy kept me interested. It didn't have much suspence, but it did have tension. I was interested to learn more about archery. There was great tension and I was disappointed when it was over. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? The raiders were rely well created. But that archer captain, he's 13. It doesnt realy make sense. The characters were very visual. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? I thaught I was there! It had really great detail. I saw the story as a movie. That is how visual it was. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I think you should make it a bit longer, and a some more suspence, but other then that you did a great job! :) I have no complaints.