VV+Nicholas

**Introduction:**
Meet Nicholas media type="custom" key="3629475"

** Piece by Piece **Second Draft Torn wrappers, half empty pop cans, and discarded cigarette packs James had had enough.

He was in such a bad mood his head looked like a puppets with it's strings cut off. Just his home town alone must have had thousands of pieces of litter. He had to put an end to pollution, but how…? “I can’t make much of a difference all by myself.” His head dropped down and his shoulders slouched. His feet were slowly dragging across the ground.

“Yes you can!” said Max who was eavesdropping as James was talking to himself. “I will help you” said Max confidently. “Community by community we can stop pollution.”

“Well let’s get on it then” said James.

The next day James and Max saw a boy named Bronco Bob and he threw his snack wrappers on the ground. Quickly James ran over to Bob and informed him what he was doing.

James explained how if everyone threw their wrappers on the ground the world would be like a giant garbage can!” Therefore if you just stopped littering, maybe a few more people would think about using garbage cans and eventually we wouldn’t have a problem.” said James with high hopes. Bronco Bob looked at James embarrassed. Bob slowly picked up his wrapper and with a grin on his face threw the wrapper in the garbage.

“There, 1 done 6 billion to go” said Max happily.

The following days were progressive, also because everyone James and Max spoke to joined in on the mission to save Earth! The thing is the ending depends on how you want it to end. What I mean is if you think about saving the environment then the ending is "happily ever after". If nobody cares about the environment and litters all the time then the ending is "doom". ** The End… but not the end for Earth! **

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? I would definitely say that the plot is original because I've never read a story like that. A suggestion though would be to put more detail into the plot and instead of rushing through the story, maybe add that James joined an organization or something. But I liked your plot and I think its great that you want to stop littering and pollution! 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? I liked the problem in your story because it is a really big issue in our world. Although I think that you could add more suspense and show more of distress from James. The story doesn't really have an ending but a resolution is when Bob throws the trash away and that makes the reader feel good. I would have James go around to more people and maybe, to add tension, a bully or someone could get mad at him for telling them what to do. Thats just an idea though. 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? I could tell that James was determined once Max encouraged him and I could also tell that he's a good person but I didn't feel that there was much description about the character and the same goes for Max. I could also see that the boys were confident because it would be scary to confront someone and tell them to throw their trash away. 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? Honestly, I would have liked a lot more details because I didn't feel like I really connected with the story although I liked the word choice. And in the beginning, when you wrote about how there were empty pop cans and stuff, well where did you see them? What did the park look like? How old is James? Does the world get saved? And also instead of saying that his shoulders slouched, you could describe like: 'his shoulders decreased downward along with his head almost like he was a puppet and the strings were cut.' Although I did like the details you included. 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? I think the area that needs most improvement is the ending because you just end it with saying that James goes and tries to help more people. And then you don't tell the reader if the world survives or if we all die from Pollution. It seemed a little like you were running out of time and needed to finish up quickly. I also wonder why you made a new paragraph every couple of sentences. You make a new paragraph either when someone new is speaking or when the topic changes or setting. A normal paragraph should be about 4-5 sentences. But I really enjoyed reading the rest of your story. The beginning was especially good for me because I liked how you described James sadness and anger towards others who littered. Well done.

-ISKL Riley

**Questions for Peer Reviewers**
(Think in terms of questions you would like to ask the author.)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?