ISKL+Kok+Leong+-+nickname+(K.L.)

meet Kok Leong ( K.L.) Introduction

Once there was a boy named Tim. T he day had finally come for Tim and his brother to go to camp during the holidays. Tim was known as the "ugly brother" even though he was strong and kind. His twin brother Cam was also excited but he was handsome, strong, kind, and talked quite a lot. Cam was extremely jealous of Tim because people liked him much more than Cam. Cam really wanted to know why. They both knew that the Summer camp would be the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better.

The next morning the activities began and the brothers were placed into different teams. The first activity was mountain climbing. Cam was a strong climber, he knew that his team would depend on him. His team was mostly great athletes and that meant that they were good in mountain climbing. Next, during the instructions, Cam wasn't listening so he did not buckle his climbing belt correctly. S o when he was on the climbing wall, he became tangled and he struggled to stay upright. Because this was a race, Tim's team quickly overtook Cam's.

Cam fell to the floor with a "thump". I t truly was a miracle. H e had escaped death with just bruises and abrasions. Even though Cam was hurt, his team was really frustrated with him. Now it was Tim's teams turn to take advantage of this good opportunity to get ahead. Even though Tim knows that he should keep going with his team and win, he turns around to help his brother Cam. Tim stops climbing and repels down to Cam. He helps Cam up and comforts him. Tim's team was mad because he went to help him so they were frustrated they could not win yet. So, Tim hooked Cam to himself and brought him up the wall with him. Tim's team won, but when they got up there, Cam asked why did you help me and not win it for your team right then? Tim answered Cam back by saying that Cam was his brother and he had to or he would feel bad. The next activity was Tim's favorite which was...mountain biking!

On Tim's smile was a sign of happiness as he and his team prepared their bikes. Cam also liked mountain biking but for the glory of winning! Cam looked at the other teams and noticed that some of them had muscles bigger than his whole team combined! As Cam wanted to win he decided to cheat! He stuck bubble gum and glue between the gears so they would not move much. But unfortunately, Tim caught Cam in the act of cheating. Tim decided to use cocoa powder to find fingerprints of his brother and evidence of his brothers' mischief and so he did. The race was starting as Cam shot of<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">f like a bullet but the others were moving like they were running without their bicycles. Some of them fell <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">because they were not fast enough but no one noticed the bubble gum between the gears. Cam won but unfortunately for him Tim decided to show his brother in the act of cheating. Cam was embarrassed to be on his team.

So then they went to the semi-final event, which was on Mount Everest and the objective was to get all the way down to the bottom,<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> WITHOUT DYING! Tim was so scared and shivering because it was so cold, but Cam in the other hand was well prepared and pumped. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">When they <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">were all dropped off it was Cam, Colin, Luke, and John versus Tim, Chris, and K.L. As Cam's team was all ready<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">, three minutes before they could start to go, Tim and his team tried to cheat to get back at Cam. In the act of them taking the<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">ir warm clothes, John finds them and pushes them down <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">with their faces in the snow. The race started and Cam's team was almost in 2nd so then Luke and Colin decided to make their ice slick ad put oil and soap all over their side. Luke and Colin were caught in the act of cheating and Tim, Chris and K.L won.

PEER REVIEW (Saint Michael)

1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? <span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);">yes 2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? <span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);">yes, i think if you had a different ending it would be better 3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? <span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);">yes 4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? <span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);">more dialouge and more excitment 5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author? <span style="color: rgb(0, 255, 0);">I think that the end could use some improvement