BF-Ben

Hi my name is Ben McMillin. I am from the United States. I now live in Spain. I have two cousins that live in Australia there names are Alex and Andrew. My favorite sports are soccer and golf. What are your favorite sports? I also have a dog his name is Will. We bought him at a rescue center. I have family from all over the world The Czech republic, Germany, Slovakia, Italy, Scotland, Ireland, and Australia. =__**Running from Vietnam**__=

Chapter One The Shelter
===="Come on Jacob." said Bao. " the soldiers are almost here. " " Come Here Fang we need to go now. " said Chie^'n. The kids and there pet started to run across the destroyed ruins on Hoi Chi Mhin. " Stop and be very quite we need to hide in that old grain silo so that the soldiers wont find us when the search the city." said Jacob. " Grrrrrrr!! " Said Fang once they were inside the silo. " Shush Fang the soldiers will hear you and then we will be some serious trouble." said Chie^'n. They all wait for what seemed like ages. Then finally the soldiers left. " I think they're gone." said Jacob. All the kids and Fang got out of the silo then checked if the coast was clear then they started running as fast as they're legs could carry them. After a couple hours of running they found an old farmhouse and decided to stay the night there. The whole group started to look for some food in the farmhouse, Fang did not need to look hard because there were plenty of mice and other small rodents in and around the farmhouse. After they had searched the house for about thirty minuets they all met in the front room to what they had found. " Well i found some dry corn in the silo i also found some bread and salt." said Bao " It looks like Fang found himself some food." " I found some jars of water and some dried fruits and meat." Said Jacob. " I found some oranges, some bags to put the food in to carry, also some small seal able jars to carry the water in, and some cheese and spread for the bread." said Chie^'n. After they ate a little bit of food they went to sleep.====

Chapter Two The Cottage
====The next morning they started to walk from the farmhouse while they ate a small breakfast. They had been walking for about three hours then they heard a noise it sounded sort of like footsteps. " Wait I think those are soldiers." said Jacob. " We need to hide, into the bushes and fast the soldiers are getting closer." said Chie^'n. They all headed into the bushes. The further into the bushes they went the more and more it seemed like they had found a path. " I think we have found a path." said Bao. " Do you think we should follow the bath or go back to our original path?" said Jacob. " Well I think we should follow this path because the other path was used to much and the soldiers might think of putting a patrol on the path to catch escapees." said Chie^'n. " I agree." said Jacob and Bao at the same time. So they followed the path for a couple of miles then Jacob saw an old stone cottage. " Hey guys I found something maybe it can work as shelter." said Jacob. Once all of the kids caught up with Jacob they saw the cottage. They all agreed that they should stay the night there. When they entered the house the first thing they saw were bullet holes running all across the walls and one side of the house had been destroyed from a grenade. " I guess this was an escapee safe house and the soldiers found it and destroyed it." said Chie^'n with a sad expression on his face. " I think the escapees were taken hostage because i don't see any bodies in the house also there is no food the soldiers must have taken it all or blew it all up." said Jacob a little worried. " I hope there aren't any soldiers still around or else that would be really bad!!!!" said Bao. " All right everybody there is no food and the building was attacked by soldiers so i think we should get out of here as soon as we can if all of you guys agree." said Jacob. "I agree." said Bao. " Well,,, I am not so sure there could be soldiers out there and the soldiers already think they got rid of all the escapees that were in this house." said Chie^'n. " You have a good point. " said Bao. " Yes he does have a good point but what are we going to do about our food problem, we are almost out of food." Said Jacob. So in the end they all agreed with Jacob and they stared following a path they had found at the back of the house.====

Chapter Three The Trail
====The path that they found was an old hiking trail that lead to village on a mountain side. The two Vietnamese kids Bao and Chie^'n had known that this trail existed because there grandparents had taken them to the village when they were younger. " Our grandparents told us that the old cottage used to be a hotel but when we went to the trail it was a snack stop, but later it ran out of business." said Bao. After they had been hiking for hours and it had began to grow dark they spotted another small snack shelter. " Hey guys look, another snack stop maybe we can go in there for the night." said Chie^'n. " Yeah that is a great idea." said Bao. " Hey maybe there will be some food there." said Jacob excitedly. So they all went in, then suddenly fang jumped on something and started growling and clawing at the figure. Once Bao had lit a candle he saw that the figure was really escapee that had been planning to jump on the kids with a knife thinking they were soldiers. When the kids had gotten a good look at their attacker they saw that he ha a bullet hole in one arm and scratches all over his body where fang had scratched him. " Who are you?" said Bao angrily in Vietnamese. ( There attacker only spoke Vietnamese) " I am a poor beggar just trying to escape the soldiers." said the man. Then right after he said that he pushed past the kids and ran into the darkness. " I think we should look for food." said Bao now speaking in English. So after they had looked all over the house all they found was some bread, dried fruit and water. " Well it is better than nothing." said Jacob. So in the morning the started on the trail again and they hiked for many hours when finally they reached the village.====

Chapter Four The Village
====" Yes we have Finally reached the village! " said all three kids at once. They started racing to the nearest house but when they tried the door it was locked. They tried the doors of all the houses in the village and they were all locked. " Hey guys look this window is broken maybe we can climb through it." said Bao. So after they all came in they lit a small candle so they could see. Then after they had some dinner then they went to bed. Then when they woke up they hit the road again. " Alright guys we have to reach the boarder of Cambodia and Vietnam so the soldiers cant catch us. " Said Jacob. They all agreed and they guessed that they where probably a days hike from Cambodia.====

Chapter Five Freedom !!
====They were hiking on a step uphill then the kids saw something they had never seen in there whole lives hundreds of thousands of soldiers both American and Vietnamese Fighting with guns tanks bombs and all manner of weapons. " Quick we have to get to Laos now or we will be dead." said Chie^'n. So the kids went as fast as they could on their hand s and knees, the tall grass shielding them from the soldiers' view. Bullets whizzed over their heads and pieces of discarded metal and shrapnel were cutting their hands and legs. Once the got to the final stretch of the boarder they got up and ran as fast as they could past the boarder and into the fields of the town where they all collapsed because of fatigue, wounds, and Hunger. They where later found by the farmer that owned the land and they were all sent to the nearest hospital. When they woke up they were all covered in bandages and there were plates of food waiting for them on their bedside tables. They ended up living in Cambodia fpr the rest of their lives. **__End of Story__**====

** Story and Content **
 1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? **__The plot was very well done, and it wasn't original at all. It was really interesting, and had good details.__**
 * Starting - March 29 (2009):**

2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? **__The problems the characters faced were pretty intense. Although, i feel like you could add more suspense and details to the problems. Think of ways you could make the story seem more dramatic.__**

3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions? **__The characters are life-like, but they arent very likeable. You should tell more about the characters and how they feel. But, you had a lot of dialouge throughout the story and I appluad you for that.__**

4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you //see// and //hear// and //experience// the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story? **__I could picture the story in my head pretty good. If you added more details is would be much easier for me to do so.__**

5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author ?**__ I think you should make the story a little bit longer, and write more about the characters. I made the story as long as i could BEN __**