DM-Abigail+R

Hi, my name is Abby. I like to learn new things, hike, rock climbing, biking, swimming, shopping, and I also like to play sports. Some sports i play are soccer (which i have been playing for 7 years straight) and I also play badminton. My favorite animal would probably be dogs (chihuahua). I also like cotton candy ice cream. What's you favorite flavor of ice cream? I like to play instruments also. I have been playing piano for about 5 years straight. And I am in my 2nd year of flute. I play in the school band. My favorite soft drink is coke.

// The Tadpole and the Girl // 

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One morning I awoke to the sun shinning brightly into my window. Then I thought to myself "What a beautiful day out today. It is the perfect day to go out and sit by the nice little pond in my back yard." So I got up, went down stairs and had breakfast, then I went back upstairs and got dressed. Seeing I do my best thinking out by the pond, I grabbed my writing journal in case I though of something to write about.======

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So I went outside and around the house to the pond. Sure enough it was there. Next to it there was 2 big rocks side by side. I called them "My thinking rocks." They have been there since the day I was born. On the side of the pond going over it there was a dock that my father built about 2 or 3 years ago. One thing that I always liked to do when I was at the pond was to catch tadpoles and then set them free. So I went back up to the house, grabbed a little fish net, and an ice cream container and headed back down to the pond. On my way back down to the pond, I was running down the steep hill that was pretty much out back yard and on my way there I fell and almost went down going head over heals. In stead I just rolled down almost landing in the pond. When i get back on my feet back at the pond I filled the bucket up with pond water and leaded down on the dock, grabbed the little fish net, and get some tadpoles. When I dumped the net into the ice cream container I reached down into the container and tried to pet one of the tadpoles. I thought that they would all just swim away from my finger but there was this one tadpole that was starting to grow his or her legs. and he just swam up to me instead of swimming away from me. So I just petted him like I think he or she wanted me to. So after that i plopped it back into the pond to scoop up another group. But soon enough he want to stay with me and hopped into the net once again. "I guess i have a new friend" I said to my new little fishy friend. "You have to go home to your mom and dad frog. They must be getting worried about you. Now you go back to them." So i threw it further out this time. I went and scooped another group of tadpoles out and you can guess who hopped into the net again. That's right, that one tadpole. So i decided that he or she liked me so i will make it my pet. But my mom would never let it come on the house. She would get me to put it back right away. So this is what I did. I took the ice cream container some tadpoles, algae, pond bugs and put it all in the container. Then I thought that it might get lonely in there all by it's self. So i took that little fish net and scooped up some more tadpoles and put them in the container to keep my tadpole company. Now i was saying to my self "Now do I have all that l need for a good pet? Food, home, something to swim around in. I have everything i need but I just feel that I am missing something. That's it!" i exclaimed "Now know what I need! A name! Now what to call you, what to call you. Got it! Fred! I will call you Fred."======

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"I will be right there. Just give me a minute." I replied. "I will see you later" I said to Fred. Day after day I would wake up and go down to the pond to see Fred. From tadpole, to polliwog, to young frog or froglet, to the final stage of the frog. When Fred was finally a frog i decided to set him free. "It is time for you to go home. These past 13 weeks have been fun. Raising and studying the ways of a frog. This place has been like home for you. But now it time for you to return to your true home, in the pond, along with your other friends. Now go along with Joshua, Jessica, and Christopher." (seeing I was raising the other frogs I decided that I would name them also). "Now go free. You can finally be free now." So I put Fred and the others into the pond and I headed back up to the house to wash up for dinner.======  On my way back up to the house I heard a noise behind be. I rotated and saw nothing. //I must me hearing things again// I thought to myself. So I continued on. Then I heard the same noise once again. I spun around quickly. Nothing....again. Then I thought to myself //All this time at the pond is making me crazy.// So once again I continued on my travel to my house to prepare myself for dinner. I was almost to the door when I heard that noise again. So I thought of a little plan to find out what that noise is. //I will just keep walking like normal. To fool it into thinking that I didn't hear him or her or whatever it is. Then I will surprise it my spinning around very quickly and trapping it on my sweater.// So I kept walking for a little bit. Then all of a sudden I spun around as quickly as I could and trapped it on my sweater. "Now" I said to myself, "to find out who or what you are." So I elevated my sweater and found that the thing that was following me was Fred the frog and his friends Christopher, Jessica, and Joshua trailing close behind him. " Am I dreaming? How could you have enough energy to hop all the way up here?"

"Actually it wasn't that hard. Although I am quite tired." Fred said to me.

"Now I know I must be dreaming." I said in shock.

"No you are not dreaming" replied Fred. "It is the middle of the day. And if you don't believe me go ahead and pinch yourself, throw your self down the hill. Go and jump in the pond."

I started to pinch myself hoping that I would wake up from this crazy dream. "Why isn't this working? I should be waking up right about now. And also OWWW. Pinching yourself continuously really hurts."

"Well you wouldn't of had to do it of you would of just listened to me in the first place." Fred sad crossly. "Whatever you do, throw yourself down a hill, jump in the pond, jump off a house if you will, YOU WILL NOT WAKE UP! And the reason for that being you are not asleep. Understand?"

"Well I know that now! Okay. Now that I know that I a not asleep I know that something is wrong with me. Was it something I ate?

"What are you talking about?" Fred asked. "There is nothing wrong with you. You are just speaking to your average talking frog."

Yes. I am speaking to the average talking frog. Now excuse me while I go play catch with my flying turtle named Bob!" I said sarcastically.

"Now don't be silly. There is no such as flying turtles. Only birds and bugs can fly. Maybe you are right, maybe there is something wrong with you.

"I was being sarcastic. Maybe something is wrong with you. Anyway I have one thing to say. YOU ARE A FROG! A SLIMY, GREEN FROG! THEY DO NOT TALK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! What are you some kind of freak here to play a prank on me! Who sent you?

"HEY HEY HEY, just because I am an amphibian doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I find you calling me slimy and a freak is very offensive! I was not sent here to play a prank on you. And who would send me. You are the only human I know. You raised me from birth. By the way you never told me your name. What is it?"

"My name is Melissa. But all my friends call me Jess. And stop changing the subject! All I really know is that I have gone crazy.

"Nice name. And how may I ask are you going crazy?"

"I am talking to a frog! What do you think?"

"How is it that you just noticed now that was crazy? How did you not figure that out 10 weeks ago? You talked to me then."

"Yes that was crazy of me to do that but when I talked to you back then I didn't get a response. That is what is really freaking me out."

"Well this thing called my voice box sends out vibrations up the throat and as I move my lips and tongue it makes words come out of my mouth. And I thought I was dumb. Wow."

"I know how that process works! I am not a complete idiot. What I meant was how are you talking. Frogs ribbit and croak. But one of the things they do not do, is talking! You are a frog, how are you talking to me. You are not supposed to talk."

"Really?" he asked in a surprised voice.

"Ya really!" I responded

"That explains so much. All my life I have been trying to talk to Jessica, Christopher, and Joshua. And now I know why the haven't been answering me, I thought they just didn't like me."

"But you still are a frog. Can't you talk frog with all the other frogs in the pond and in your bucket home?"

"It is surprising but no. Whenever I tried to talk their language by croaking and ribbitting

Grammatical errors (spelling, jumbled words, spacing, wordy sentence.) The plot of the story is original it is well thought out. You could add a bit more to the middle of the story. The story needs more problems. The characters in the story are good. The detail in the story is good the pond could use more description. I would like to know more about the characters and the setting in the story. My suggestions for the story are that you need to work on your spelling and grammar. Otherwise the story is good. From Austin.

The plot of the story was original, but more details need to be added. Also, if there was dialogue, the story would flow better. The main character has a very happy attitude, but she really should have a name. There were some grammatical errors, but nothing major. The story ended abruptly, so I would elaborate on it to make it longer. There should be more of a conflict in the story and a better description of the characters. Overall your short story was okay.



 